Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

JET BLUE GOES BLUE: TERRORISM SPURS CREATION OF ALL-NUDE AIRLINE

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Editorials & Other Articles Donate to DU
 
Don Davis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 09:01 AM
Original message
In the biggest change in commercial aviation since the invention of the jet engine, Jet Blue announced today that it was going All Nude, in order to minimize both terrorist threats, and the long delays caused by high-security check-ins.

Borrowing the famous Cunard Cruise Ship slogan of a bygone era Getting There is Half The Fun Jet Blue has substantially reduced the long check-in lines on its flights. As one of its spokesmen explained, we no longer have to worry about shoes, or tryin to solve mysteries without any clues.

In addition, the banning of all liquids has also expedited the boarding process, although security personnel still have to employ state-of-the-art scanners to ensure that all passengers are boarding with empty bladders.

Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff lauded this policy as sheer genius, claiming that the mere presence of naked bodies alone is a major deterrent to Islamic terrorists getting on a plane. In fact, as a further preventive measure, Jet Blue has adopted a policy of sitting all Arab-looking individuals in Menstruation Class.

Jet Blue has also revolutionized the screening process by ditching the useless question, Have you packed your own bags?, in favor of: Do you believe in death to the twin satans Israel and America?

Initial reaction from air travelers was decidedly mixed. One female passenger said she appreciated the shorter check-ins, but the least they could do is provide us with in-flight blankets; it gets cold as a bitch up there at 30,000 feet.

And a fifty-something male said he had no problem with the nudity, but expressed regret that this wasnt done 25 years ago, before all the flight attendants were either gay or post-menopausal women.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
savemefromdumbya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 09:08 AM
Response to Original message
1. I guess if Amtrak adopted nude trains
they would have to have blinds down all the way?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
katinmn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
2. Bwaa! We were just talking about this last night.
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 10:39 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. I was promoting concept of Fly Nekkid Airlines back in winter of 01
;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tocqueville Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 09:12 AM
Response to Original message
3. but no breast implants allowed
maybe "no-boobs" signs will show up at airports
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
texastoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 09:23 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Oh, that's right--they are liquid
I guess it's back to the old foam padded bra days, hmm?

:shrug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tocqueville Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. TERRORIST BRAS ? ARE YOU CRAZY ?
brace for extended breast and cavity searches....
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Hoosier Dem Donating Member (346 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 10:18 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. If we had a "No Boobs" policy...
How would Lieberman be able to fly anywhere. Isn't he the biggest boob in America right now????


Whoops, forgot about Katherine Harris. (_)(_)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
texastoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. He's right up there in boobville, for sure
And welcome to DU!

:toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
katty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-15-06 03:52 PM
Response to Original message
8. Jet Nude, Flying au nat-ur-al
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Mon Jul 15th 2019, 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Editorials & Other Articles Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC