BUSH: 'I'M A UNITER, NOT A DIVIDER, OF ARABS'

[Don Davis]

President Bush, in a joint press conference with Tony “This is Baghdad’s Finest Hour” Blair, proudly trumpeted his Administration’s success in uniting the entire Arab world.

As Arabs all across the Middle East chanted, “Allah, Allah, give victory to Nasrallah, death to Kabbalah, but we still want U.S Petro-Dollar,” Bush pointed to the fact that Sunnis and Shiites had finally stopped their infighting, in order to marshall their joint resources to extinguish Israel.

Indeed, it was reported that the Sunni and Shia sects were even considering a merger, and were in the process of conducting focus group market research, to determine the best possible name for the newly combined entity.

“Shunnis” and “Sunites” were reputedly the leading candidates, after it was decided, based on the experience of Coca-Cola, that “New Muslims” would be too risky. Also, the name “Su-ites” was rejected out-of-hand, on the grounds that it sounded too “Jewish.”

In related news, Senator Hillary Clinton, sensing growing anti-war sentiment, as manifested in the Lamont-Lieberman race, today took the bold step of calling for the resignation of Robert McNamara, as the failed architect of the Vietnam War.

Meanwhile, the chorus of calls for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld continued, with moderate GOP Senators such as Chuck Hagel asserting that even Art Vandelay would have been a better architect of the Iraqi war. “To tell you the truth,” added Senator Hagel, “even a marine biologist would’ve done a better job than Rumsfeld.”

Also, on Hardball, New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman, disgusted with the pathologies of the Middle East, announced the publication of his latest book, West Bank Settlers Are From Brooklyn, Arabs Are from The Seventh Century.

Finally, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, when asked about any strategies to stop the escalation of murder and mayhem in Iraq, stated that she intended to sit down at her piano, and write the score for a new Broadway show, Miss Baghdad.

[Ilsa]

1. OMG. Did Bush* really say that?

Doesn't he realize he's the straightman for late night comedy?

[YDogg]

2. Perhaps this ought to be clearly labeled as satire.

[patdem]

3. I detect a Seinfeld fan...this is fantastic satire you really DO have a

talent. I must therefor visit your site. Thanks for the great gafaw!

[Don Davis]

4. Greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much for the kind words! Come visit often -- you might also enjoy my song parodies.

[mom cat]

5. Thanks Don Davis. ... I needed the chuckle right about now!