The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 247

[top10]

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 247

June 11, 2006
Subdued Celebration Edition

For the first time in a long time, we had some encouraging news out of Iraq last week, but we didn't see much celebration from George W. Bush (1, 2), presumably because he knows it's unlikely to make much difference in the long run. But with the 2006 elections looming just over the horizon, he and the Senate Republicans (3) have another trick up their sleeve: The anti-gay card (again). Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh (4) gets punked, Ann Coulter (6) attacks the 9/11 widows, and Dick DeVos (7) shows how Republicans support the troops. Don't forget the key - which you can now also see in the right-hand column of this Journal.



George W. Bush

Early Thursday morning, it was announced that the US Military had succeeded in killing Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the former head of al-Qaeda in Iraq, and quite possibly the best-known terrorist in the world after Osama Bin Laden. Clearly, this is the first piece of somewhat encouraging news to come out of Iraq in quite some time. But given the extremely grim reality with regards to everything else in Iraq, most Americans couldn't help wondering: Will it make any difference at all?

Maybe not. Former White House terrorism czar Richard Clark said that the death of al-Zarqawi would not hasten the end of the Iraq War. And no lesser authority than the current US ambassador to Iraq, Zalmay Khalilzad, said that he anticipated "in the coming hours and days, the terrorists will seek to increase their attacks to demonstrate they are still relevant, and to take revenge." Which probably isn't such a good thing.

So the news of al-Zarqawi's death presented something of a conundrum for the Bush Administration. After three years in Iraq, we have seen more than our share of important milestones, tides turned, and Missions Accomplished, yet each day it seems like we are further and further from actually winning the war. How, exactly, do they convince the American people that this is big news, while simultaneously sending the message that we shouldn't really be getting our hopes up?

The answer: Have the president make a brief statement, and then shut up about it. On the Bush Administration Iraq War Milestone Celebration Scorecard, this was about a two. Compare that to previous Iraq War Milestone Celebrations: Dress up in a flightsuit, pretend to land an airplane, prance around on the deck of an aircraft carrier, have photo-op in front of giant "Mission Accomplished" banner (Celebration Score: 10); Deliver prime-time televised address from the Oval Office, tell Iraqi people "You will not have to fear the rule of Saddam Hussein ever again." (Celebration Score: 6); Have friends in Congress to dip index fingers in purple ink, wave them around (Celebration Score: 4). Is it just me, or is there is a trend here?

The situation is so dire that the Administration doesn't really have any clue how to deal with good news anymore. Bush went so far as to say that the death of Zarqawi was "severe blow to al Qaeda" and "significant victory in the war on terror," but that's about it. The only visible evidence of anything resembling celebration was the elegant wood picture frame used to present the photograph of al-Zarqawi's bloated head. Fancy!





George W. Bush

Someone stick a fork in George W. Bush - he's done. Last week Our Great Leader lent his support to the GOP's latest base-whipping exercise, the Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Because there's obviously nothing more important going on in the world right now than stopping gay people from entering into lifelong commitments to one another. Heck, if we allow gay people the freedom to marry, the terrorists who hate us for our freedoms will have won. Or lost. I don't know - it's so confusing these days. But the bottom line is that if gay terrorists have the freedom to marry then... um... fool me won't get fooled again.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid had it right last week when he ran off a checklist of things that the U.S. Senate won't be focusing on while they debate gay marriage:

So for me it is clear the reason for this debate is to divide our society, to pit one against another. This is another one of the President's efforts to frighten, to distort, to distract, and to confuse America. It is this Administration's way of avoiding the tough, real problems that American citizens are confronted with each and every day:

High Gas Prices.

The War in Iraq.

The National Debt.

Health Care.

Senior Citizens.

Education.

Crime.

Trade Policy.

Stem Cell Research.

Each issue begging the President's attention, each issue being ignored -- valuable time in the Senate spent on an issue that today is without hope of passing.

Which really brings us to the crux of the matter: what, really, is the point of this administration? They can't govern, America is demonstrably worse off than it was when they took over, and the only thing they have left is the tired old canard that gays are going to destroy people's marriages. Oh yes - and flag burning.

I'm telling you, this duck isn't just lame - it's on life support.



Senate Republicans (mostly)

So how'd that Constitutional amendment work out anyway? As predicted, last week's 49 to 48 vote in the Senate left it about a mile shy of the 60 votes required to move the process forward. So after a couple of days of shameless bigotry to rile up the GOP base, we're back to square one.

Or are we? As Sen. John Thune (R-SD) said, "Clearly as time goes on there will be more votes in favor of this. We make a little headway each time this is debated."

A little headway indeed. Last time the Senate voted on this pressing issue in 2004 (hey, wasn't that an election year too?) it got 48 votes. This year it got 49. So let's see, if they do this every two years and it gets an extra vote every time, then Republicans should finally be able to put those uppity gays in their place by, oh, 2030 or so.

In their dreams, anyway.



Rush Limbaugh

Not so long ago, Rush Limbaugh took what he described as a "profound" and "moving" phone call from a Lt. Col. Luke Fitzpatrick, stationed with the 336th Tactical Air Wing in Iraq. Here's a sample of the call:

FITZPATRICK: As terms of the drive-by, Rush, I was here from -- I was here originally from (Operation Desert) Shield. I was the second unit deployed here from Shield from Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, the 4th Fighter Wing. I was here from Shield through (Operation Desert) Storm through (Operation) Enduring Freedom, now Operation OIF -- Iraqi Freedom. The reason I came back is because I felt that the job was not finished. And it's not finished. Yes, we have a standing government, but I get shot at every night. I come home with holes in my airplane, Rush. Granted, they're not critical, but one --

LIMBAUGH: What do you fly?

FITZPATRICK: -- one day, it may be and you will read about me on CNN and I will be that blurb and I will show up in that 2600-some-odd casualty figure that the -- the drive-by media is obsessed with of how many people have died over here because we are an all-volunteer force. And that is the main reason that we called in today. I'm calling in. I just so happened to be the mouthpiece for the squadron here, the 336th Tactical Fighter Wing from Seymour Johnson -- the Rocketeers. We're an F15E Strike Eagle Squadron. We fly by night. Our motto is "Raining fire from above for the freedom that we love."

LIMBAUGH: Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow indeed. You can almost hear Rush wishing that he never had that anal cyst which got him out of Vietnam. Curse you, anal cyst.

But unfortunately the Palm Beach Pill-Popper had to apologize to his dittohead followers two days after the call, because it turns out that there isn't actually anybody in the U.S. military called Lt. Col. Luke Fitzpatrick. Nor is there a 336th Tactical Fighter Wing operating in Iraq. Oh well.

Nonetheless, Limbaugh continued to hold out hope that, like Santa Claus, Luke Fitzpatrick does exist. First Rush speculated that the military might have been lying to him. Then he said that the Pentagon told him that while Luke Fitzpatrick doesn't exist, "it might be a nickname for him." Yeah, I can see that...





Speaking of pill-popping, there was an interesting story in News of the Weird last week which noted that a wheelchair-bound man who had committed the exact same crimes as Rush Limbaugh was sentenced to 25 years in prison back in 2004. Meanwhile the Crapulent One got off with addiction treatment, and as Chuck Shepard notes, "if Limbaugh complies with his plea bargain, his conviction will be erased."

Why such a light sentence? Well I would think it's obvious - Rush Limbaugh is a pillar of the community who has demonstrated through a multitude of good works that he is a man of outstanding moral fiber. For example, here's what he had to say about Haditha last week:

...this is the final big push on behalf of the Democratic Party, the American left, and the Drive-By Media to destroy our effort to win the war in Iraq. That's what Haditha represents - and they are going about it gleefully. They are ecstatic about it… Folks, let me just put it in graphic terms. It is going to be a gang rape. There is going to be a gang rape by the Democratic Party, the American left and the Drive-By Media, to finally take us out in the war against Iraq.

Pillar of the community I tell ya.



San Antonio Republican Conventioneers

Republicans gathered together in deepest Texas last week to bemoan the state of the nation and complain - as usual - about how they're being oppressed. Oh woe! If only those rotten Democrats didn't control the House, the Senate, the White House and the Supreme Court. Then American would be a much better place!

As you might expect, the clowns were out in force. Take Tina Benkiser, for example, who thinks that the GOP is the party of God. No really. I mean it's really the party of God.

At Saturday morning's prayer meeting, party leader Tina Benkiser assured them that God was watching over the two-day confab.

"He is the chairman of this party," she said against a backdrop of flags and a GOP seal with its red, white and blue logo.

Nice to know that Republicans have found a job for God, I suppose. So what's Jesus's role in this operation? Treasurer? Secretary?

Then there was the Rev. Dale Young, wooing the Hispanic vote:

"Lord, your words tell us there's a sign that this nation is under a curse, when the alien who lives among us grows higher and higher and we grow lower and lower," he preached.

Meanwhile:

Houston activist Bobby Eberle, a candidate for party vice chairman, organized the Friday evening rally. Taking the stage, he took aim at "the ACLU, liberal Hollywood, Democrats and these left-wingers" who have bedeviled the GOP.

"We need to continue to fight, whether for the pro-life movement or for decency in programming," said Mr. Eberle, whose Internet enterprise had its own recent dust-up over decency.

In case you were wondering what the "dust-up" was all about, allow me to refresh your memory. Bobby Eberle's Internet enterprise was Talon News, and his only employee was the famous White House correspondent slash gay prostitute Jeff "decency in programming" Gannon.

So all in all it was just another giant hypocritical GOP whine-fest. Move along, there's nothing more to see here.



Ann Coulter

Gag me with a spoon, we're smack in the middle of Ann Coulter's annual festival of hype for her latest bargain bin stuffer. This time the weighty tome is entitled Godless: The Church of Liberalism. You'll never guess what it's about.

Turns out that Ann has really upped the invective this time around, and, presumably bored with taking on such easy targets as the "lucky" Max Cleland, has decided to go after the 9/11 widows. She writes, "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husbands' death so much."

Apparently Ann's beef is that she's "not allowed to respond" to the widows because they lost their husbands on 9/11. Here's what she told Matt Lauer on "The Today Show" last week:

LAUER: On the 9-11 widows, an in particular a group that had been critical of the administration: "These self-obsessed women seem genuinely unaware that 9-11 was an attack on our nation and acted like as if the terrorist attack only happened to them. They believe the entire country was required to marinate in their exquisite personal agony. Apparently, denouncing Bush was part of the closure process." And this part is the part I really need to talk to you about: "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by griefparrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband's death so much." Because they dare to speak out?

COULTER: To speak out using the fact they are widows. This is the left's doctrine of infallibility. If they have a point to make about the 9-11 commission, about how to fight the war on terrorism, how about sending in somebody we are allowed to respond to. No. No. No. We have to respond to someone who had a family member die. Because then if we respond, oh you are questioning their authenticity.

(snip)

LAUER: So if you lose a husband, you no longer have the right to have a political point of view?

COULTER: No, but don't use the fact that you lost a husband as the basis for being able to talk about, while preventing people from responding. Let Matt Lauer make the point. Let Bill Clinton make the point. Don't put up someone I am not allowed to respond to without questioning the authenticity of their grief.

Yeah, those 9/11 widows should shut their holes, because it really sucks that Ann Coulter isn't allowed to respond to them. I mean, sure, she's written a book saying that they're "self-obsessed," "unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation," "the entire country was required to marinate in their exquisite personal agony," and called them "broads" who are "reveling in their status as celebrities" and "enjoying their husbands' death." And she's all over TV and radio promoting that book.

But other than that, poor Ann simply hasn't been allowed to respond.



Dick DeVos

In perhaps the stupidest election-year partisan attack ever, the Democratic Governor of Michigan, Jennifer Granholm, was criticized last month for ordering flags flown at half-staff to honor American soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. While this may seem absurd to... um... everyone with a brain, apparently there exists a small number of flag-fetishists in Michigan who believe it "cheapens the gesture" if the flag is lowered to half-staff for insignificant nobodies like the men and women who are making the ultimate sacrifice for this country.

Perhaps sensing a unique opportunity to pander to the semi-retarded troop-hater vote, Granholm's opponent in the 2006 campaign, Dick DeVos (R-Amway), joined in the partisan attack against Granholm and said through a campaign aide that he would reverse the flag-lowering policy, because "lowering the flag has typically been reserved for heads of state." Isn't that special. Apparently DeVos feels so strongly about "supporting the troops" that he'll gladly slap them in the face if he thinks it'll score him some cheap political points.

And if it doesn't score him some cheap political points? Well, he's not too proud to flip-flop.

Facing an outcry from patriotic Americans from across the state, DeVos felt it necessary to "clarify" his position. In a letter to the Detroit Free Press, he said that flying the flag at half-mast "is the least we can do to honor those who have given their lives for the sake of our freedom."

Way to go... Dick.



Tom DeLay

After a series of scandals and an indictment on charges of money laundering, "The Hammer" finally resigned in disgrace from the House of Representatives last week. Unlike some previous members of Congress who chose to resign with conciliatory words of bipartisanship, the former pest exterminator showed his true character by going out in a flash of white-hot partisan rage.

DeLay talked at length on the virtues of partisan hatred and took a number of cheap shots at his liberal opponents, who he said wanted "more government, more taxation, more control over people's lives and decisions and wallets." This is odd criticism coming from perhaps the most corrupt House majority leader in modern history, who served during the most irresponsible period of deficit spending in the history of our country, and who rubber-stamped Bush Administration efforts to snoop into every facet of our lives.

But DeLay's resignation from Congress doesn't necessarily mean he'll be gone from the ballot back in Texas – even though DeLay himself (somewhat humorously) has been trying to get himself off it. In his efforts to be declared ineligible, DeLay claims to no longer be a resident of the district, and has produced a Virginia driver's license, voter's registration card and state tax documentation. But Democrats have filed suit to keep him on the ballot in Texas, pointing out that the United States Constitution only requires that he be a resident of the district on the day of his election. A temporary restraining order has blocked the Texas GOP from naming a replacement for DeLay.

And to make matters worse, since DeLay ran in the GOP primary with no intention of running in the general election, it is now apparent that he was engaging in fraud when he collected all those campaign contributions under false pretenses.

Looks like the Hammer might be going to the Slammer.

(On a related note, check out this hilarious online game from Tom's Democratic opponent, Nick Lampson.)



The Pentagon

In an extremely disturbing example of "putting the horse after the cart," the US Military has decided to change its detainee policies to remove a Geneva Convention rule banning "humiliating and degrading treatment." According to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle, this change could mark a "permanent shift away from strict adherence to international human rights standards."

So, it would seem that official policy for dealing with detainees previously forbade "humiliating and degrading treatment." Either some of the folks at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib have a totally different idea than I do of what constitutes "humiliating and degrading," or else they didn't really give a shit what the guidelines said. Considering the abuses that took place under the old guidelines, one shudders to think what might happen now that this rule has been eliminated.

This is a classic example of the Bush Administration culture of responsibility. If you get caught breaking the rules, don't change your behavior – just change the rules.



Fox News

And finally, it seems that the stock market hasn't been doing so well recently, but never fear! The folks over at Fox News have figured out a way to get the Dow Jones Industrial Average moving again. It's simple, really: Bomb Iran.

During the June 5 edition of Your World with Neil Cavuto, Jonathan Hoenig (a member of the Fox News "Cashin' In" crew) said, "if you want to see the Dow go up, let's get the bombers in the air and neutralize this Iranian threat."

There it is folks: the conservative idiot's economic agenda to get our country moving again. Apparently managing the economy really isn't that difficult. Don't worry about all that complicated liberal mumbo-jumbo about deficits and taxes and regulations and wages and all that. Whenever there's a downturn, just dump a few thousands tons of live ordinance on some brown people halfway around the world, and the Dow will shoot right back up! See you next week!

-- EarlG & Skinner

[bleever]

1. Genius!

:thumbsup:

[Initech]

2. Correction:

"I'm telling you, this duck isn't just lame - it's on life support."

Should read:

"I'm telling you, this duck isn't just lame - it's on life support and may or may not require a feeding tube, but that's after it's been kept alive for longer than it should have pending diagnosis from a "doctor" who watched a two hour video tape without having actually met the patient in question, then making a passionate speech on the Senate floor about the condition."

Come to think of it, Terri Schiavo has been the perfect metaphor for this administration the whole time.

Oh and also, Tom Delay is a fucking retard.

[drm604]

3. Brilliant,

as usual.

[mephie00]

4. I simply MUST comment on Coulter!!!

I find it odd that there are several things in regards to Coulter's new book that people aren't really talking about.

For starters, there is sooo much emphasis on that whole attacking widows of 9/11 victims. Her main argument is that these women can be critical of the president, they can push their own political agendas and ideologies and they can use their personal loss as a shield. How is that any different then what Coulter did when her great friend Barbara Olson died? Anne Coulter wrote about the death of her friend just days after 9/11. Heck, it was published days after, she possibly wrote it on 9/11 or the day after. That article is the one where she makes the infamous "invade their countries" and "convert them to Christianity". Likewise, Falwell didn't wait too long to use 9/11 as another way to promote his views. Coulter defended Falwell's statement in Slander. So in one book she defends the action, then in another she condemns it.

I'm also curious as to why there isn't more mention of the hypocrisy. She brings up the idea that the husbands could have been planning to divorce the women. (Strong words coming from a spinster.) She also says that the women should consider posing for "Playboy" before they get too old. Why should they pose for "Playboy"? They could just date the son of one of America's biggest porn merchants.

What I'd really like to know is why are people focusing on one aspect of the book? What about the book as a whole? She's working with a religious thesis. Does she quote scripture? She's allegedly catholic so does she quote the pope, how about some saints? This is not a book like Falwell, Dobson, Robertson etc write. In her book she gives her definition of what a Christian is and it includes Jews. Later in the book, she slams episcopals. Coulter seems to be making the claim that Christians hold the same political views as her. Conservatism is her religion!!!

An even better idea. Why not just shut up about Coulter? All this fuss over her is just going to give her book more publicity. We learned this from Fox News suing Al Franken over a book. Of course Coulter is going to say totally mean and crazy crap. Michael Savage does it all the time and he's pretty much been ignored.

[Berry Cool]

5. I guess you missed Keith Olbermann the other night.

He pointed out the fact that the "bodies of 9/11" were "not yet cold"--as in, the fires at Ground Zero were still blazing away--on 9/13/01 when Ann was already using her poison pen to mourn Barbara Olson by saying that we should invade countries, kill leaders and convert people to Christianity. But, then, that was OK for her, wasn't it? :sarcasm:

I don't take anything that creature has to say about Christianity seriously. She wears a cross around her neck all right, but by all rights it should be on fire, because that's the only kind of cross someone like her can really get behind.

And sorry, but I also can't help but see the irony in people posting "Let's all shut up about Coulter." Uh, every time you post a "let's stop talking about her" post, you have TALKED ABOUT HER. Which I personally don't think is so bad. She is not the kind of bully who goes away when ignored, any more than cancerous tumors go away when ignored. She needs to be recognized for what she is: a disease, so she can be avoided as she deserves to be.

[krispos42]

15. Coulter needs a nickname

We here at the DU need to give her a nickname so that we can 'discuss' her various shortcoming without doing her a favor and spreading her name across the 'net via search engines and such. Anybody got any ideas?

My fairly lame idea is 'Iambac' (from Austin Powers 'It's a man, baby!', followed by her initials)

[Divine Discontent]

17. that's a good idea!! :)

and your nickname isn't bad. I know you share some different beliefs than myself, but despise her I'm sure as much as I do! For me personally, she is an affront to what Christians are, because she's so the opposite and yet she claims "God" in all the evil she does and says! I question if she's really demonic. Those 9/11 wives having to lose their loves of their lives and then to have a horroric creature like Ann insult them is beyond human. Surely we can get a poll going and have a mass vote and come up with a nickname for her that is perfect.

my nickname for her is much more lame than yours, I call her "Man-Hands"

her hands are gigantic, I think she's alien or something!

[krispos42]

18. Iambac Manhands

Works for me!

Religion is a tool. For some it is used for getting through the day, for some it is getting through life, for some it is a moral guide, for some it is a historical document, for some it is a stainless shield used to hide hate, bigotry and unsavory acts, for some it is a whitewash to cover stains of wrong with a coating of saintlyness, and for some it's a great big friggin' club to smash people down with.

I would guess we could judge a person's character by how they outwardly apply their faith to the world. What does that say about Iambac ManHands?

I honestly don't know much about Iambac ManHands, but the Wikipedia article about her was less than encouraging.

[Divine Discontent]

47. Iambac ManHands makes me laugh

as for your religion opinion. yes, I agree, religion, in the form of what I consider "religious" people to behave, is used for a crutch, a tool to walk all over those they choose, etc. I am a Christian because I believe Christ died for my sins, and I believe that this life is not all there is, I get a true sense of connection with His cosmos when I pray. That's what being a Christian does for me. I believe not only did He exist, but He existed for me.

Now, concerning the evils of this world - like lil orphan annie, it brings people of different views together! lol

[krispos42]

19. Anagrams!

Okay, I found an anagram site on the 'net. Here are some good ones from her name:

Lean Con Rut
Ale Corn Nut
Ann Curl Toe
Rant No Clue
Cannot Rule

And her hands remind me of the aliens in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind".

[secular humanoid]

30. nicknames

"Rant No Clue"

is my favorite.

she has no clue how to be a decent human being.


peace

[Divine Discontent]

48. OM goodness! I love Rant No Clue!!!!!!!!!!

Rant No Clue is great, and Ann Curl Toe is funny too...

perhaps maybe you can put those in a poll on GD-politics and get a consensus... I'm all for not saying her real name any further and assigning her a shrub-type nickname like he does to many....

[krispos42]

52. Go for it

If you know how to, knock yourself out. I dunno nuttin' 'bout no fancy-shmancy poll site thingamahooey!

Coultergeist is pretty good, I must admit! But it has her real name it in. That's my only worry.

[Name removed]

51. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. 
[link:www.democraticunderground.com/forums/rules.html|Click
here] to review the message board rules.

[rambler_american]

22. Nickname for Ann...

OMFG! That is bizarre! But aside from that, how about we call her
Hann Job.

[SeveredMind]

28. Sweet Jesus!

That's TERRIFYING! I've never really stopped to look at her hands, because, well, looking at any part of her makes me want to pound a nail into my dick.

[Divine Discontent]

49. the nail comment......

made me roll...

knew you'd all freak about that pic...

[Love Bug]

34. Frankly, she looks like someone with Marfan Syndrome

which is a connective-tissue disorder. Marfan Syndrome patients tend to be very tall and slender with long arms and fingers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marfan_syndrome

[genieroze]

43. We can call her MarfANN Man

[Divine Discontent]

50. well aren't you just a know it all! LOL gotta love smart people

And calling her "MarfAnn" sounds good to me too...... or how about "MarshAnn" lol..

[malgoska]

53. Coultergeist is not an alien

- but she may be suffering from a Marfan syndrome. Check it out: http://faqsdirect.com/marfan-syndrome/

That could also explain her bizarre behavior. :nopity:

People like that should be treated in an inpatient facility, and NOT placed in front of TV cameras with an unsuspecting interviewer (not that I have any respect for Lauer either).

[franticfreda]

26. Nickname for Coulter

I just use 'Nazi Princess'

[President Kerry]

54. simple and to the point.. I like it. n/t

[durrrty libby]

27. I like coultergeist n/t

[krispos42]

32. Oooo, that's a good one!

[rusty charly]

42. the proper name is (drumroll....)

mAnnthrax Coultergeist.

thank you.

please drive home safely.

[zonmoy]

55. how about lucifer in drag.

[Skittles]

8. good stuff there mephie00

welcome to the DU! :hi:

[rambler_american]

21. Re: Ann Coulter

I've said this before but apparently it bears repeating. Take it a little easy on Ann. She's widely misunderstood. When she was a little boy none of the priests would abuse her. This so traumatized him she grew up and became a disillusioned, bitter ugly bitch.

[singingbiscuit]

31. Why is nobody bringing up Lisa Beamer in all this?

Talk about a widow who is profiting from her husband's death:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0842373195/104-1086096-2979148?v=glance&n=283155

Oh yeah, it's OK for her because she says nice things about
Duh-bya.

[geardaddy]

33. Yes,

Her name needs to be dragged out into the open for all to see her hypocrisy.

[6000eliot]

44. The thing that amazes me is just how poorly written it is.

She's supposed to be a writer? Does she have an editor? She sounds like a moron both in what she says and in the way that she says it.

[987654321]

6. Thank you for another job well done.

I am once again dumbfounded at the hypocrisy that runs through the veins of the republican party. You point it out so well week after week.

I am so amazed that the political party that professes to be the one that truly loves America could act so hateful toward so many Americans.

As for that Fox "news' network, I seriously believe at some point it will have to be declared an arm of the the republican party, thus being subject to the laws that regulate political parties.

[Skittles]

7. HOW do they manage to limit it to TEN each week?

LORD that must be a tough thing to do, choosing the worst of the worst

[bj2110]

9. Concerning both Delay and Fox News: Let's not forget the scathing

interview on the day of his resignation which not only praised his sterling record in the House, but also attacked the way in which he was so abhorrently "forced out" of Congress. Of course Delay agreed, but wanted to make sure that the people of this country understood that the conservative viewpoint has finally taken hold, and for that, he considers himself a success.

Applause all around!

[shugah]

10. "i have been fighting in iraq for years, i have shot down the enemy,

i have earned the right to call myself LUKE FITZPATRICK!"

that nickname bit:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[FantasticFlan]

11. Possibly the best examples of idiocy yet

Thanks and keep up the good work.

[ejbr]

12. Let's PUNK repugs

The Rush Limbaugh prank is brilliant!! Why not do a hidden camera online show where a non-repug actor convinces a wingnut that he/she is a repug, but really pushes the envelope with his/her thinking. "Ann Coulter speaks for me. Why address the concerns of the 9/11 widows when you can distract the Godless libs with a ridiculous argument about not being able to respond? I mean the reason we CAN'T respond is because they are right, we should have done more to protect America since 9/11! But Ann is brilliant in using this smoke and mirrors tactic!" Then see how they respond. "These stupid libs go on and on about how Valerie Plame was covert and that it damaged national security by taking out an Iranian connection on WMD. But I think it is obvious that disclosing our secret torture prisons is far more treasonous. Everyone knows the code of silence is most important when you are doing something illegal, so why did that stupid newspaper feel they should rat us out? We all know that Bush is going to nuke Iran anyway, so Plame is unimportant. However, the secret prisons were a good way for our guys to get out their aggressions, since anyone with knowledge knows that torture is ineffective. If our enemies found out and began torturing us as their prisoners, well I am just thankful that I am only a fighting keyboardist!" Basically, do a Colbert on a very large scale, just for fun.

[FairVotes4all]

13. I like your thinking....

The Neo-Cons would flip out... Lets do it!

[nxylas]

38. British satirist Mark Thomas did something similar

Britain has a very powerful, very right-wing "farming" lobby (actually, they call themselves farmers but are really just landowners - you'd never catch them getting their hands dirty in the field), so Thomas posed as "Farmer Mark" and spoke at one of their meetings, with a hidden camera in tow. He found that the madder the views he expressed, the more the audience lapped it up. It was quite disturbing to watch.

[krispos42]

14. Flags at half mast

Captain Nathanael James Doring, United States Marine Corps, was remembered with full military honors at Berea Evangelical Lutheran Church in Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota, on Saturday, the 10th day of June in the year 2006. He will be buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

He had volunteered for extra duty in Iraq after his tour was up in order to be with his wife, Lisa Marie Christenson, who is also a Marine Corps captain.

During that day the flags in Minnesota flew at half-mast. After the services, the Marine honor guard presented the tightly-folded to Captain Doring's son.

Captain Dorings seven-year-old son.

Seven.

SEVEN!

With all due respect to Dick DeVos, in other words 'none', he can go fuck himself. Vigorously and often.

http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/breaking_news/14788996.htm
http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/news/local/14790501.htm
http://www.startribune.com/568/story/466411.html

[Divine Discontent]

16. EARLG & Skinner - You are hilarious!!!!!!

the "glad they found a job for God" & Jesus bit was HILARIOUS...

maybe they'll add him to the employment rolls and claim another job created, no?

Good Lord, help us. The Republicans seem more and more kooky every single day! They're losing it... they get wrapped up in their false "GOD COUNTRY FLAG" nationalist-frenzy of hormones that they lose all reason to think in a sound mind and with compassion. They ignore the compassion over and over, and say things like, "well we can be nice, BUT" and then follow "but" up with extreme hate - come on nutjobs - just be LOVING, God takes care of the rest (and people like Ann Coulter)!



www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable <<<--- Check it out - top 06 & 08 Pro-Dem stickers & Anti-Bush!

[jmowreader]

20. I got another funny about Luke Fitzpatrick

Remember the guy whose callsign is supposedly "Luke Fitzpatrick" because no one by that name is flying F-15Es in Operation Iraqi Liberation? Well...it turns out there's no "336th Tactical Fighter Wing" working the patch because...there's no 336th Tactical Fighter Wing in the Air Force.

The 336th Fighter Squadron is part of the 4th Fighter Wing, Seymour Johnson AFB, NC.

They don't call 'em "Tactical Fighter" anything anymore because someone at Headquarters, US Air Force apparently figured out that there's no such thing as a "strategic fighter squadron" or an "administrative fighter squadron."

Someone in the Air Force calling a fighter squadron a fighter wing wouldn't be done. A wing is the parent unit of a squadron--like a division is the parent unit of a brigade. No one in blue would make this mistake.

[cagoldensun5050]

23. The Tom DeLay game

is PERFECT!!!

[GrimReefa]

35. Isn't it great?

I'm going to spend hours on this stupid game. I know it...

[1gobluedem]

24. Once again you made me do another Monday morning spit-take

I live for the Idiots on Monday morning. And this week, it was especially superb. Thanks!

[unhappycamper]

25. In Idiot # 2, you said "Last week Our Great Leader... . ."

Wouldn't a more appropriate name be "Our Dear Leader?"

Two :thumbsup: :thumbsup: for another Top Ten winner!

[jmowreader]

37. It would, and I'm working very hard to get people to call him that

The Great Leader/Dear Leader conundrum:

Kim Il Sung, original dictator of North Korea, was called the Great Leader.

Kim Jong Il, current dictator of North Korea and son of Kim Il Sung, is called the Dear Leader.

There's an argument as to whether Kim Jong Il got the way he was because he was dropped on his head as a child or because he was in an accident while racing cars--one of his hobbies; another is amassing the world's largest movie library--but the boy ain't right and it really is because of trauma.

[nxylas]

29. Disappointed to see Matt Drudge wasn't in there

There was a gloating post on Usenet last week from a global warming denier quoting Drudge as saying that Al Gore gave a speech on the subject when it was ONLY 33 DEGREES IN FLORIDA! Turns out the idiot didn't know the difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius. Surely that deserves an honorable mention?

[tomreedtoon]

36. Nick Lampson web site - trolling for addresses?

I was interested in playing the Tom Delay greed game on the Nick Lampson web site. Then I discovered the following:

1) I had to upgrade Adobe Flash to the latest version, which somehow or another is preventing me from running certain Flash website videos with audio. The audio cuts out.

2) To play the game, once I got in, the web site asks for my e-mail address. As a casual visitor, I shouldn't need to do this. I know that this will become part of his e-mailing list for information and contributions. Sorry, but I don't live in his state, and I am already contributing enough to my own state's candidates.

I could understand it if the site said, "We will not spam you or send you mail. This is just a preventative measure to prevent spammers and hackers from entering our site." But that wasn't there.

[Skinner]

40. You can skip that part, but you have to look closely.

In the bottom right corner of the manila envelope, just below the money bag, are the words "Play without scorekeeping." Click it.

[abbiehoff]

39. Nothing new about #10

I heard a GE Aircraft Engine vice president give a speech at least 20 years ago where he said, "What we need is a good little war." At least he wanted a little one.

[claypool4prez]

41. Faux News

I'd love to know what the "secret" requirements to work for Fox news are.

[Lasher]

45. My cat loved the Tom DeLay game!

He has tried before to get things that he's seen on my PC monitor, but never with the intensity that he had when he just tried to catch The Hamper. LOL, we both enjoyed it!

[Left Turn]

46. DeVos

Love that you put DeVos on here. What a monumental screw-up on his part. Granholm was making a big gesture in support of the troops by lowering the flag, and DeVos not only tries to play politics with it, he ALSO flip-flops on it! Priceless.