MY Letter to James Dobson

[Vexatious Ape]

Dear Reverend Dobson,
I’d like to extend my heartfelt thanks to you and all the work you’ve done in assuring us a Christian Supreme Court. I can’t prove it but I believe that our great leader George W. Bush consulted with you before he picked Judge Alito. Is it true?
Anyway, America’s baby killing days are soon to end—praise Jesus. That of course will be the FIRST step in rebuilding this once fine country into the CHRISTIAN country it was always meant to be—praise Jesus. Of course we’ll now be able to bring back prayer in school and put an end to ALL discussion on evolution. There are many, many more things that need to change and with the help of the CHRISTIAN Supreme Court it can all come to be. A lot of these things are issues rarely discussed such as the minimum wage. We all know its Marxist in nature, thus evil. I believe the minimum wage corrupts our poor people, gives them too much money to burn on sinful things like, alcohol and porno. They also buy a lot of music CD’s and DVD’s, all of which are produced by liberals, fags, and atheist’s. I’m sure the Supreme Court can find a way to make the minimum wage un-constitutional.
How about non-Christian book reading—it’s almost an epidemic. I made the hideous mistake of entering a Barnes and Nobles the other day—they need to rename it the Devil’s Library. My guess is that at least 99% of the trash they sell there does not have a Christian influence. What would Jesus do about that I ask.
There are so, so many things that need to change around our blessed country such as the very fact that it is now, thanks to the liberals, quicker and easier to purchase porno in almost any city then it is to buy a gun. Again, what would Jesus think about that?
The liberals have corrupted our country for the last 60 years and now it is our time to take it back.
No more non-Christian movies. No more heathens on Air America Radio. No more damn birth control! We must end now and forever the very idea of privacy—if God can watch you, and he does, then the government can watch you too.
No more women shaving there pubic areas—it ain’t natural. No more art, taxes, and no more “Happy Holidays” nonsense.
We can finally close all the stores—even our beloved Wal Mart on Sunday, like Jesus would want.
Death to all queers—enough said on that particular subject.
With your help, my help, and the Christian Supreme Court, all the ugliness that pervades will come to an end.

Thank you, and God Bless
Vexatious Ape

[shain from kane]

1. And along that pubic hair thing, no more make up, and no dancing. nt

[xchrom]

2. lol -- he won't know you're kidding and read it on the air.

[JohnnyRingo]

3. Probably wont see the satire

He might put it on his web site...excerpts anyway.
Welcome to DU


It was satire, right?
Heh heh

[Vexatious Ape]

4. Yes

Of course it was. I hate everything this guy stands for--and then some.