Text of Ashcroft's Letter to Bush (Evans' Letter Too) (Lots 'o laughs!)

[Khephra]

Dear Mr. President:

Nothing in my life compares to the high honor of serving America as Attorney General in your administration.

The cause of justice is indeed a serious calling. Americans have been spared the violence and savagery of terrorist attack on our soil since September 11, 2001.

During the last four years our violent crime rate has plunged to a 30-year low. Under your "Project Safe Neighborhoods" the number of gun crimes has fallen to its lowest level in modern history. Drug use among America's young people has fallen and continues to fall significantly.

Corporate integrity has been restored with the work of your Corporate Fraud Task Force. As a result United States markets have reinforced their position as the trusted allocators of the world's capital resources.

http://www.newsday.com/news/politics/wire/sns-ap-ashcroft-letter-text,0,1576833.story?coll=sns-ap-politics-headlines

---

Text of Commerce Secretary Letter to Bush

Dear Mr. President:

It has been a high honor and humbling experience to serve as the 34th Secretary of Commerce under your leadership. These past four years have brought great progress in strengthening America's national security and economic security, and advancing the global march to peace, prosperity, and freedom. Your leadership inspired our nation and the world to reach higher and to try harder to achieve goals beyond conventional expectations. While the United States will always face challenges, your stewardship of the highest office in the land has renewed the values and optimistic spirit that so characterize the American people as they turn challenges into opportunities in the 21st century.

As I have traveled across our nation and around the world, I have talked to, listened to, and made friends with others from all walks of life. One central message is clear: America remains for all mankind a beacon of freedom and a source of hope. I thank you for your clarity of purpose, your determination that we exercise our great responsibility to lead for the common good, and to leave this world better than we found it.

http://www.newsday.com/news/politics/wire/sns-ap-evans-letter-text,0,4750181.story?coll=sns-ap-politics-headlines

[lovedems]

1. Asscroft said

he feels that his energies and talents should be directed toward other challenging horizons.

Anyone want to take bets what fundie cause he starts with first?

[AlCzervik]

3. Former Judge Roy Moore, move over

theres a new Mullah in town!

[saigon68]

5. Soon to be the head of the American Talibornagains

[lovedems]

10. The "reporters" who covered the story said Asscrack felt vindicated

by the fundie vote. I am sure he thinks he has a new leadership role. Instead of fighting terrorists abroad, he will fight those American terrorists with calico cats...meow!

[MO_Dem]

7. Oh lordy

Whatever it is, I hope he doesn't inflict on MO. But, I imagine that is exactly where he plans to do it. I know the world has suffered from his influence these last four years, but before that, he reigned down on us here in MO for about 16 yrs. We've had ENOUGH, Mullah John!

[LynneSin]

9. How about replacement for when Reinquist retires

That's what I'm :scared: of!!

[lovedems]

11. He kind of makes Reinquist look like Michael Moore, doesn't he?

Think of the crazy opinions that would come from that nut. Double scary.:scared: :scared:

[VegasWolf]

21. Hope he takes up kissing vipers and rubbing himself all over

with oil. He forgot to mention that the voices in
his head were getting more insistent. Something to
do with a water gun and Times Square.

[Dem2theMax]

36. I just knew that reading the DU comments would be a lot more fun

than reading the letters. lol. :)

[Catchawave]

41. What's more challenging....

then getting beat in a state election by a dead guy!

[Worst Username Ever]

2. .... wow

how many blatant falsities can one include in a single letter?? I thought this was satire at first.

[rodeodance]

4. the number of gun crimes has fallen to its lowest......

but recall that BushCo did NOT push congress to do the assult weapons bill. How many will be on the streets now!!!

[rainbow4321]

32. WTF???

Oh yeah, Ashcroft, tell that to the owners of the THREE cars that were carjacked by AK 47 toting robbers last week here in Texas after a bank robbery...I'm sure the mother of the infant who was in one of the cars would LOVE to hear it.

[demgrrrll]

6. Does this mean that there is no more crime or terror? That super

hero Ashcroft wearing his signature American Eagle costume has eradicated these scourges from our great nation? Impressive...

[adadem]

8. Oops...caught a typo

May God continue to bless, guide, and direct you and your family as you lead America forward in fascism.

[cwadeohio]

12. John Ashcroft

John is bowing out gracefully , next will be Colan Powell the
Condollisa Rice, I had breakfast with Johns parents in Rome,
Italy in 1974 and know that he wouldn't last with all the
crookedness of gb, Powell said he would only be there for four
years, I'm suprised he stayed this long. He has had to cover
for gb several times.

[JoFerret]

25. ...and will you make it to 10 posts

before being zapped? 100 dollar question...your starter for 10

[havocmom]

13. I think he is afraid of us crazies in Montana who just passed our medical

marijuana initiative. I figured he'd be a-ridin' into town with his guns blazin to set us straight and toss us in jail with Tommy Chong. I am SOOO disappointed. ;)

SCOTUS appointment probable? This will test the mettle of the DEMS in the Senate. Hope everybody is taking their vitamins and doing their exercises, gonna be some hellish filibuster season.

[DS1]

14. Damn - I can hear the slurping from HERE

I gotta get me summadat!

[TahitiNut]

15. "Nothing in my life compares"?????????

Not his marriage? Not the birth of his children?

This fucker is truly, deeply, and bizarrely disturbed. Kool-Aid overdose for a brain-dead cult zealot.

[LisaM]

18. Not being anointed by his father with Mazola?

LOLOL

[JoFerret]

23. I thought it was Crisco dipping oil

what an ass.

[LastDemocratInSC]

16. Constitution Party presidential candidate in 2008

A good number of Repugs will split off into the Constitution Party - there has already been a significant move in that direction here in South Carolina. Ashcroft is a natural for their cause based on his background and they desperately want a nationally-recognized candidate to give their party visibility.

[meganmonkey]

17. We can only hope!

I would love that. A name like his would take a significant amount of voters from the repugs.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

19. Crime plunged to a 30 year low since 9/11 deaths are not factored

into justice dept statistics on crime

[chatterboy]

20. Good Riddance ...

... except for those of us in southwest Missouri, where Ashcroft will likely retire. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Better here than in Washington.

http://homepage.mac.com/rondavis/iblog/

[meow2u3]

22. We won't have Asscrack to kick around

or will we?

[VegasWolf]

24. What's that sound? Oh, it's asscroft dragging his knucles across

the floor as he LEAVES!

[bobthedrummer]

26. John Ashcroft, The Witchfinder and Lord High Executioner is no more.

:7 O8)

Take that silly $6k curtain off The Spirit of Justice's breasts now.

[William Seger]

40. Oh, yeah, that was...

... right after "embarrassing incident" wasn't it:

[bobthedrummer]

27. kick

:dem::kick:

[merh]

28. See, the whole admin is delusional

"During the last four years our violent crime rate has plunged to a 30-year low. Under your "Project Safe Neighborhoods" the number of gun crimes has fallen to its lowest level in modern history. Drug use among America's young people has fallen and continues to fall significantly.

Corporate integrity has been restored with the work of your Corporate Fraud Task Force. As a result United States markets have reinforced their position as the trusted allocators of the world's capital resources. "

:WTF:

[rainbow4321]

33. What knuckleheads....

Someone needs to teach asscroft how to google..I found this in less than a minute--it is from a 2003 study on youth/drugs:

http://www.monitoringthefuture.org/


The data, while positive overall, were not universally heartening. Use of powerful prescription drugs like OxyContin and Vicodin increased slightly, for instance, and use of cocaine, certain club drugs, and narcotics other than heroin was virtually unchanged over the two-year period studied.

Moreover, said Johnston, drug-use rates don't seem to be improving among younger teens, which could portend problems for the future. "I'm worried about getting another generation of kids who have not heard about drugs, because when you have things like the war in Iraq and 9/11, you don't hear much about drugs," he said. Johnston said just such a spike in drug use occurred after the first Gulf War, when national attention was diverted away from youth drug use.

[merh]

39. Not only can Ashwipe not google

neither can the press :mad:

[Matilda]

29. Does this mean the statues can be unveiled?

n/t

[saigon68]

30. No the New "White Man " soon to be chosen

is going to have them destroyed

This is no joke.

[Squeegee]

31. They're not lying

... they're just seriously deluded.

[barb162]

34. who do you suppose wrote the letters? Neither of these guys is

capable of forming sentences. I really like the stuff about how Ashcroft cleaned up corporate crime...what a total joke. Elliot Spitzer in NY is about the only one who goes after corporate crime. Ashcroft's response to corporate crime is huh? duh? what's that?

[Bossy Monkey]

35. Man, who were the first 33 Commerce Secretaries under his leadership? n/t

[Sideways]

37. That's What I Thought LOL

Shit Bush has blown through 34 Commerce Secretaries in four years? Don Evans is one of the most vapid men on the planet, I met him once in 1988 and I was quite impressed with his stupidity.

[Swamp Rat]

38. Jesus is calling you John...

Won't you go home?