Executive Order: Establishing the Office of Secret Communications
By the authority vested in me as President by
Kathleen Harris and the
Five Robes of the
Apocaplyse of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered as follows:
Section 1. Establishment of the Office of Secret Communications. There is hereby established within the White House Office an Office of
Secret Communications (the "
Office") to be headed by a Deputy Assistant to the President for
Secret Communications.
Section 2. Mission. The mission of the Office shall be to
secretly advise the President, the heads of appropriate offices within the Executive Office of the President, and the heads of executive departments and agencies (
agencies) on utilization of the most effective means for the United States Government to ensure
secrecy in
messages that will promote the interests of the United States abroad, prevent
understanding,
forge consensus among coalition partners of the United States, and
misinform international audiences. The
Office shall
secretly provide such advice on activities in which the role of the United States Government is apparent or publicly acknowledged.
Section 3. Functions. In carrying out its mission:
Ha. Like I'm going to tell you that