National Guard Leader Spreads DNC Spoof

[West Coast Democrat]

(The father of one of my co-workers was spreading around this same unfunny email)

WASHINGTON - Some Democrats aren't laughing at the satirical schedule for the Democratic National Convention, an Internet-driven joke spread in part by the leader of the Massachusetts National Guard. It opens with a flag-burning ceremony and moves on to the John Kerry "fake medal toss" and the "Free Saddam" pep rally. There are no fewer than four toasts by Sen. Ted Kennedy.


A state worker sent an e-mail containing the spoof to National Guard Adjutant Gen. George W. Keefe. Using his state e-mail account, Keefe sent the joke to 17 others, including more state workers. Keefe said Friday he regretted passing along the e-mail, and a spokeswoman for Gov. Mitt Romney said Keefe will not be reprimanded.


The e-mail lists a fake agenda for the Democratic National Convention in July in Boston. Kerry, a Massachusetts senator, is expected to accept the party's nomination for president. Kennedy, his Senate colleague, is likely to be one of its major speakers.

snip

The schedule includes an "anti-war concert by Barbara Streisand" (misspelling her first name), "posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins" (the Oscar-winning actors and anti-war activists), tributes to France and Germany, and ceremonies for gay marriages featuring "threesomes, mixed, same sex, farm animals."

more....

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=536&e=3&u=/ap/20040430/ap_on_el_pr/convention_joke

[bhunt70]

1. There needs to be a rebuttal.

[West Coast Democrat]

3. I saw this one online somewhere...

But I think it needs some work....

2004 RNC Official Convention Program

11:00 a.m.: Early Wakeup

12:00 p.m.: My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys: A “How-To” Course for New England sissies who want to dress up and pretend to be a cowboy.

1:00 p.m.: Simultaneous Posting and Breaking of All Ten Commandments.

2:00 p.m.: Personal Safety Course: How to Recognize Rogue Pretzels and Bad Columbian Cocaine.

3:00 p.m.: Sale of autographed 8 by 10 photos: remains of 9/11 victims, $20 each.

4:00 p.m.: Head back to the bar for happy hour after rejecting CIA report on upcoming terrorist attack in the U.S. as vague (because it did not state whether attack time was Eastern Standard or Central Time). After next attack say that "If I had known what time zone Bin Laden meant, I'd have moved heaven and earth to move heaven and earth".

5:00 p.m.: Condemn Hezbollah as “Party of God”.

5:05 p.m.: Praise GOP as “Party of God”.

6:00 p.m.: Spotlight on Compassionate Conservatism: Dedication of Halfway House for Bush daughters, spouses and mistresses.

7:00 p.m.: Fire Sale: “Mission Accomplished” Banner, going cheap.

7:30 p.m.: Private Screening of New GOP Film: “Chickenhawk Down” —The How-To and Review Course on Draft Dodging for a New Generation of the Snot-Nosed and Pampered. Co-Presenters: George AWOL Bush and Five-Deferment Dick Cheney.

8:00 p.m.-?: Going Down like a Submarine on Saudi Sheikhs for Fun and Profit: A Grand Ole Party.

[1monster]

16. I think I'm going to send your version on, if that's okay with you?

:evilgrin:

[West Coast Democrat]

17. That's fine. I copied it from someone's post on Yahoo

so I can't take credit.

[leQ]

19. i'd like to pass it on, too

with attribution
but who?
anon?

[West Coast Democrat]

20. I really don't know who wrote it

an anonymous Yahoo message board person.

[alfredo]

22. On more event

10:00 p.m. Armageddon

[West Coast Democrat]

23. That's a good one!

DUers should keep building on this!

[alfredo]

25. A second day might be good, but we don't want it

too long.

[lazarus]

6. one point to bring up

When they talk about the "Free Saddam" pep rally, one could mention that the US has already returned four of Saddam's generals to power.

[sniffa]

11. i posted this earLier - forward it if you Like

Official GOP 2004 Convention Itinerary – Copyright “hunkafunk” on AlFrankenWeb

6:00pm – Opening Baptisms in the Big Vat of Oil.
6:15pm - Karl Rove summons Satan with 1,000 Gallons of Children’s Blood
6:30pm - “How the new Medicare Prescription Plan will Help Me” – Rush Limbaugh
6:40pm - George W Bush reads “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”.
7:00pm - ** Event Title Censored by the Department of Homeland Security **
7:18pm - Slow Dance to Star Wars Imperial March: Lobbyist’s Choice
7:30pm - Ceremonial Outing of a CIA Operative
7:40pm - Donald Rumsfeld: “How to Let the leaders of 15 of the 9/11 terrorists in on
State Secrets without getting Impeached.”
7:55pm – George W Bush reads “Green Eggs and Ham”
8:10pm – Saddam Hussein Look-Alike Contest
8:30pm – “Why Stem Cell Research is Evil,” Sean Hannity
8:45pm – “Why Stem Cell Research is Great, Especially for my Husband,” Nancy Reagan
9:00pm - “Oh Shit,” Sean Hannity
9:15pm - Circle Jerk with Brit Hume
9:17pm - Break

10:00pm - Ceremonial Minstrel Show starring Trent Lott and John Ashcroft in blackface.
10:15pm - Colin Powell on Fox News Defending Minstrel Show.
10:20pm – Condaleeza Rice on MSNBC defending Minstrel Show.
10:30pm - Ken Lay: “How to make 500 Billion Dollar Debt look like a Profit.”
10:45pm - Blame Clinton Workshop
10:55pm - ** Event Title Censored by the Department of Homeland Security **
11:00pm - George W Bush reads “Hop on Pop” with help from his father.
11:15pm - Rick Santorum: “Why Gays Marrying is like Me Humping my Dog.”
11:30pm - Dick Cheney: “I Raised a Raging Dyke.”
11:45pm - Celebrity Mud Wrestling: Ann Coulter vs. Laura Ingraham.
12:00am - Republican Nomination of Bush.
12:01am –Bush Starts Month-Long Vacation.

[West Coast Democrat]

13. This can be Day #2 of the convention

[thebigidea]

2. is there such a thing as a right winger with a good sense of humor?

P.J. O'Rourke doesn't count.

[NewHampshireDem]

9. Well, then .

I'm all out of names :O

[htuttle]

4. And here I thought Republicans were too busy fucking goats to make jokes

Guess they made some time.

[denverbill]

5. I guess that means any state worker there can send anti-Bush jokes.

Without fear of dismissal or other disciplinary action.

[callous taoboy]

7. Pretty funny

in a redneck sort of way.

[West Coast Democrat]

10. I heard the whole thing....it was lame

especially the Ted Kennedy alcoholic jokes, as if their own president isn't an alcoholic himself.

[callous taoboy]

15. That's why

I qualified it with, "in a redneck sort of way." And, right you are, redneck humor generally strikes me as lame.

[playahata1]

8. Figures.

n/t

[The_Casual_Observer]

12. I just love state workers that are freeper types

The conservative guys that work for the government are the most vehement freepers.
They hate welfare, handouts, government subsidies, and a whole range of gay rights/life style issues. It's as if they, as government employees, were the apostles of the free market and cultural wisdom!
They as a group are the most ignorant, uninformed and hypocritical bunch of wit wits in this country.

[West Coast Democrat]

14. And they're the ones using gov't credit cards on personal items

like calling sex lines and such.

[jdj]

18. Having just read the interview with Amy Goodman

on Buzzflash,

I can see what she means about republicans leaking stuff to the media and then citing it as news.

Because this is not news. It's a 3 sentence paragraph snippet. The only thing newsworthy is that the Natl. guard guy violated the military code of conduct by being partisan, and does need to be reprimanded by the military. When they DO (which they won't) officially reprimand him, then it would be a 3 sentence paragraph snippet on page nine or something.

But to publish the content? With the bogus headline "democrats aren't laughing?" That is partisan pandering, and for that yahoo, and whatever wire posted the content, can go screw itself.

[West Coast Democrat]

21. I thought the same thing when I read this

Hopefully it wasn't a huge AP story, and not too many people noticed it.

It caught my eye immediately because someone at my office said her dad sent it to her, and so I heard the whole thing. I couldn't believe a mature adult would forward an email like that around.

Now I feel bad for having posted it, but I wanted DUers to be aware that it was going around.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

24. What about letters to his boss, the Governor of Mass?

Seems like this dork needs to be reminded he works for the people of Massachusetts, the people of the USA and needs to remove his political comments from his office.