Fallen evangelical leader Ted Haggard to start new church

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Source: CNN

(CNN) -- Ted Haggard, the megachurch pastor and former National Association of Evangelicals chief whose career was undone by a gay prostitution and drugs scandal in 2006, plans to start a new church.

Standing in front of his barn, Haggard and his family announced Wednesday that they are starting a church in Colorado Springs, Colorado called Saint James.

The church will not be affiliated with any denomination. It will have its first gathering Sunday at the Haggard home.

"All are welcome. Whether you're a Democrat, a Republican, gay, straight, bisexual tall, short, addict, recovering addict....I believe Jesus' arms are open to all," he said.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/06/02/rel.haggard.announcement/?hpt=T3

[JuniperLea]

1. He only knows one way to make money, apparently...

Lights, camera, silence on the set
Tape rolling, 3-2-1 action
Welcome to the Church of Suicidal
We'll have a sermon and a wonderful recital
But before we go on there's something I must mention
An important message I must bring to your attention
I was in meditation and prayer last night
I was awakened by a shining bright light
Overhead a glorious spirit, he gave me a message and you all
need to hear it
"Send me your money," that's what he said
He said to "Send me your money"
Now if you can only send a dollar or two
There ain't a hell of a lot I can do for you
But if you want to see heaven's door
Make out a check for five hundred or more
"Send me your money," do you hear what I said?
"Send me your money"

Now give me some bass, um yea that's how he likes it
Now give me some silence, for all you sinners
Now give me some bass, yea that was funky
Now take them on home Brother Clark, send me your money
Here comes another con hiding behind a collar
His only god is the almighty dollar
He ain't no prophet, he ain't healer
He's just a two bit goddamn money stealer
Send me your money
Send it, you got to send it
Send me your money
You hear what I'm saying?
Send it, send it
Send me your money
How much you give is your own choice
But to me it is the difference between a Porsche and a Rolls Royce
I want you to make it hurt when you dig into your pocket
Cause it makes me feel so good to watch my profits rocket
Send me your money
Now dig in deep, dig real deep into your pocket
I want you to make it hurt!
We'll take cash, we'll take checks
We'll take credit cards, we'll take jewelry
We'll take your momma's dentures if they got gold in them
So whose gonna be the next king of the fakers
Whose gonna take the place of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker?
See my momma, she didn't raise no fool
Couse you can't put a price on a miracle
Amen

[xchrom]

2. Quick - someone loosen my bodice! Such an announcement

Of 'personal transformation'!

And of course 'all are welcome' now that he needs money.

I feel faint! -- or something.

[Gormy Cuss]

16. I love you xchrom

:toast:

[Taverner]

3. "All are welcome....Jesus' arms are open to all

If he means this, then this might be a watershed moment

[No Elephants]

17. Maybe, Or matbe it's the same ole "Love the 'sinner;' hate the 'sin.'

The Catholic Church once made very clear that it loves hompsexuals who don't engage in any homosexual activities.

I sure hope you're right, though.

If he really has seen the light, he won't the the first, but he would be one of the more high profile.

[Taverner]

31. Yep - very true

And I may be overly optimistic

[rurallib]

22. I think he did a marketing study and found new sheep to fleece.

Look, that RW crowd is being fleeced right down to the hairs on their collective butts.

[Kerrytravelers]

4. Why am I skeptical of this new "adventure in Jesus" by Haggard.

[Deep13]

5. douchebag. nt

[Hawkeye-X]

6. Another church?

Didn't he start another one earlier last year?

[Brother Buzz]

21. That was just a home prayer group

No cash cow tax exempt benefits in amateur stuff run out of the basement, don't you know?

[Soylent Brice]

7. of course he is. there's still plenty of people to be fleeced. duh. n/t

[Turbineguy]

8. What else can he do?

He has no marketable skills other than theological bullshit artist.

[SpiralHawk]

9. St. James - Patron Saint of Luggage Handlers (R)

One would suppose, knowing the moral, um, fiber of Family Value Pharisee Republicons...

[Manifestor_of_Light]

36. Love it!

All those baggage carrying jokes about the guy caught at the Miami Airport with the kid from rentboy.com !!!


:rofl:

[liberation]

10. I take that magical invisible friend of his ain't footing the mortgage bills for him

now that he is unemployed... All these omnipotent deities that are going to take us all to hell if we don't do what their beloved conduits tells us are kind of useless when it comes to provide their own money, ain't they?

[SkyDaddy7]

11. PRAISE JESUS!!!

[tomm2thumbs]

12. Will he offer Cum-union?

ok, that was sorry of me - but I'm going to leave it because at least I'm not starting a church - my other faults will have to stand

[Rozlee]

15. Maybe. He's not doing penisance for his sins anymore.

:evilgrin:

[TroglodyteScholar]

13. I think I can speak for all of us when I say...

...fuck you, Ted.

[pasto76]

14. he has hired a publicist, and word is they are shopping for reality tv series

this is a SOLE reason this has hit any media.

[avaistheone1]

18. Today's funniest thread.

imo Thank you one and all for your witty comments.

:rofl:


k&r


Hope you make to the Greatest Threads.

[KamaAina]

19. Will it feature "bashing the bishop"?

:shrug:

[No Elephants]

20. Since when do Evangelicals name churches after Orthodox/Catholic saints?

[chollybocker]

23. The Church of the Holy Tax Scheme.

Can I set up my own tax-free religion, too? Because I am totally worshipping this piece of carrot cake I'm eating. Praise Jeebus!!

[obxhead]

24. Fallen evangelical leader Ted Haggard to start new tax shelter

If the MSM was concerned with factual reporting that would be the correct headline.

[Greyskye]

25. There's a sucker born every minute.

[TlalocW]

26. He's laid low for a couple of years but now...

Well, all of his expensive cars he owned in 2006 have lost their new car smell... Blueray tech and flat screen TVs have advanced quite a bit... Along with cars and TVs, Jesus obviously wants him to get a couple of iPads as well. The fastest way he can get them is to start a church and get the money from his flock to fulfill Jesus' wishes that he get some new expensive suits and jewelry for his wife.

TlalocW

[Inspired]

27. This was his big announcement?

What a let down. I was hoping he was finally accepting the man God made him.

[LawnKorn]

28. Welcome the new role model for the Teabagers

[LibertyLover]

29. Golly gee - I am so surprised! Whoever would have thought it?

Ted Haggard's new announcement being that he is starting a new church is something I never, ever would have expected. . . . do I really need to add the sarcasm icon?

[David Zephyr]

30. Stupid Man.

Stupid.

[daleo]

32. He will still take your money

And still give the same old blather. No doubt Jesus has cured him of his gayness, and for a price he can work the same miracle on others.

[Shallah Kali]

33. Time to read Jeff Sharlet's article on him again. Also did you know he is connected to Palin's churc

or at least he was before his hypocrisy was exposed. I doubt his theology has changed much even if the NAR might not want to brag about him any more...

Soldiers of Christ
Inside America's most powerful megachurch with Pastor Ted Haggard
Posted on Thursday, November 2, 2006. Originally from May 2005. By Jeff Sharlet.
http://web.archive.org/web/20070307090843rn_1/www.harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist-20061103288348488.html

So Pastor Ted did. First, he started a church in his basement. The pulpit was three five-gallon buckets stacked one atop the other, and the pews were lawn chairs. A man who lived in a trailer came round if he remembered it was Sunday and played guitar. Another man got the Spirit and filled a five-gallon garden sprayer with cooking oil and began anointing nearby intersections, then streets and buildings all over town. Pastor Ted told his flock to focus their prayers on houses with FOR SALE signs so that more Christians would come and join him. Once Pastor Ted and another missionary accidentally set off an alarm and hid together in a field while the police investigated. It was for a good cause, Pastor Ted would say; they were praying for the building to be taken off the market so it could someday be purchased for a future ministry. (It was.)

He was always on the lookout for spies. At the time, Colorado Springs was a small city split between the Air Force and the New Age, and the latter, Pastor Ted believed, worked for the devil. Pastor Ted soon began upsetting the devil's plans. He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church; his whole congregation pitched itself into invisible battles with demonic forces, sometimes in front of public buildings. One day, while he was working in his garage, a woman who said she'd been sent by a witches' coven tried to stab Pastor Ted with a five-inch knife she pulled from a leg sheath; Pastor Ted wrestled the blade out of her hand. He let that story get around. He called the evil forces that dominated Colorado Springs—and every other metropolitan area in the country—“Control.”

Sometimes, he says, Control would call him late on Saturday night, threatening to kill him. “Any more impertinence out of you, Ted Haggard,” he claims Control once told him, “and there will be unrelenting pandemonium in this city.” No kidding! Pastor Ted hadn't come to Colorado Springs for his health; he had come to wage “spiritual war.”

He moved the church to a strip mall. There was a bar, a liquor store, New Life Church, a massage parlor. His congregation spilled out and blocked the other businesses. He set up chairs in the alley. He strung up a banner: SIEGE THIS CITY FOR ME, signed JESUS. He assigned everyone in the church names from the phone book they were to pray for. He sent teams to pray in front of the homes of supposed witches—in one month, ten out of fifteen of his targets put their houses on the market. His congregation “prayer-walked” nearly every street of the city.

Palin, dominionist intimidation, and *actual* witch-hunters
http://www.correntewire.com/palin_dominionist_intimidation_and_actual_witch_hunters

http://www.alternet.org/news/145796/heads_up:_prayer_warriors_and_sarah_palin_are_organizing_spiritual_warfare_to_take_over_america_?page=entire

[troubledamerican]

34. Church of the Poisoned Mind

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

35. The 1st Crystal Methodist Church of Christ? nt

[Dave Caputo]

37. Ted Haggard Gay Recovery Direct Line To God

This guy really cracks me up. You really have to watch the movie Jesus Camp to get the full feel for it. There you can see he's queer as a $3 bill, long before it officially came out of the closet. I like the take on Ted Haggard that Blogosaurus Stampede had. Ryk knows how to put it...

One example: "Ted spoke long and uh.. hard about the evils of sodomy and sodomites, with their tight buttocks of evil and nipples of the Devil."

Hilarious.

[Socal31]

38. Is this going to be the church where I get to twist a glass pipe full of meth...

...have gay sex all of the time, and still go to that magical party in the sky?

[truthisfreedom]

39. Woah, cool... A stoner church. Hey, don't bogart that Jesus joint, dude.

This guy is as morally flexible as he needs to be to accept his own twistedness. Reminds me of bush.

[Bert]

40. Dont associate stoners with Haggard

He didnt get caught with a joint, it was crystal meth(as well as a gay guy which wouldn't matter if he wasnt so blatantly anti gay, hint if you pray for god to protect you from gayness, you are a repressed homosexual). There is a very big difference between weed and crystal meth. If you dont believe me do a side by side comparison and tell me how it worked out. As for a stoner church, sounds like a good idea to me. Actually, keep the weed and lose the church.

You all think Haggard gives religion a bad name? All religions are fucked up and Haggard is just a glaring example. At least he hasnt buned anyone at a stake, invaded anyone's country or fucked little boys to my knowledge. He doesen't make women wear a burkha and he hasnt conducted an inquisition or wiped out any cultures. That puts him ahead of the curve for most religions in my opinion.