Survey: Bullies prey on autistic kids

[Odin2005]

Source: Boston Herald

A shocking new online survey has found that nearly 90 percent of autistic children in the Bay State have been targeted by bullying so violent and ruthless that a state lawmaker says teachers and school systems must be held accountable.

The survey conducted by the Massachusetts Advocates for Children includes painful testimony from parents of autistic children who felt so tortured they stayed home from school for extended periods and even considered suicide.

“We were frankly shocked by the magnitude of the problem,” said attorney Julia Landau, director of the Autism Special Education Legal Support Center at MAC. “It took our breath away.”

About 400 Massachusetts parents responded to the online survey between Sept. 23 and Oct. 12. The survey was prepared as part of an effort to pass legislation requiring that autistic children be taught bullying coping tactics as part of their individual educational plans.

---More at link---

Read more: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1211566

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As someone with Asperger's Syndrome I am saddened but not shocked by this. I have PTSD from being bullied as a kid and teen

[Deep13]

1. Yeah, not remotely surprising.

:-(

[tblue]

2. There was bullying in my son's scout troop

and one perpetrator was sentenced to 120 hours of community service, a suspension, a written report, plus some other punishments. He had kicked a smaller kid while he was lying on the ground. The bully was unrepentant and that's why he got such a stiff punishment, but he's doing his penance and wants to earn his way back into the troop.

I'm very, very sorry that happened to you. I was bullied in 5th grade. It's scary and it's deadly serious. I was really glad my son's troop masters took the bullying very seriously. I hope the book is thrown at anyone who bully others, especially people like these autistic children, who are vulnerable. It's very worrisome and there should be zero tolerance for it in all cases.

[Smarmie Doofus]

3. We worry about this all the time.

>>>>On top of the bullying, Nazzaro said her son got caught in bad situations because his autism makes it hard for him to read social cues. In one incident, Sean hit his head on cement and vomited after charging a group of boys he thought were hurting some girls. It turned out the children were having a friendly shoving match, but Nazzaro said her son didn’t realize that.>>>>

A kid in my class with severe echolalia ( one audibly repeats what is said to one) got beaten up a couple years ago on the subway because a teenager noticed my student looking at him and said, menacingly, "Whatchoo lookin' at"?

The phrase cam back at the perpetrator three or four times, he thought he was being mocked, and pounded on my student leaving two black eyes and a shitload of paperwork for me to do when the kid showed up at school the next day.


>>>that autistic children be taught bullying coping tactics as part of their individual educational plans.>>>

I'd like to know more about the coping tactics.

[Odin2005]

4. OMG, that's HORRIBLE!!!

poor kid! :(

I was never beat up because of my echolalia, but I was ruthlessly teased.

[phasma ex machina]

7. Re: "Whatchoo lookin' at"?

A criminal psychologist tells me that some of his patients feel dissed when you look at them. Yet the same patients become angry when you don't look at them. Presumably only Marty Feldman can make such people happy.

IMHO his job sucks. He warns some patients that he must disclose to authorities any admissions of murder arising from a session.

[sakabatou]

5. That's a big "Well, DUH."

[Newshues]

6. My son gets picked on because my daughter plays

with the autistic kids. I don't think any grade schooler would pick on my daughter. She's quite loud when she's offended, annoyed, pissed or otherwise feeling like she isn't being treated fairly. She would immediately draw attention to any situation. My boy, on the other hand, is quite slow to anger and shrugs just about everything off. But he's a sleeping giant type, they'll verbally pick on him some but I doubt there are many kids who have the balls to take him on physically.

To my sons credit, he understands why he's getting picked on and wears it like a badge of honor because it's, in his eyes, not only protecting his sister but also the autistic kids. Goes a long way towards feeling good about taking one for the team in the proper light. I've made it clear to my boy that if he gets sent home for fighting the only thing I don't want to hear is that he swung first. The thing I do want to hear is he laid them out ( but i don't tell him that )

[Juche]

8. Yeah it sucks

I had severe psychosis as a teenager, which isn't autism but I did have severe trouble socializing and reading social cues. But yeah, I'm not surprised.

Try being bullied by the police because you are socially awkward due to a mental illness.

[AllentownJake]

9. Some kids in the neighborhood tried to pick on my brother growing up

Didn't end well for them.

[AlienGirl]

10. Not a surprise. I was bullied from 2nd through 12th grade.

Everything from being called names and having stuff thrown at me, gum in my hair, my lunch stolen, to having popular kids write fake love notes and leave them on my desk so I would make a fool of myself by replying, to my 11th-grade English classmates writing insulting poems about me for class assignments (and my teacher telling me that I should just write nasty poems back, or else "stop being so different, act like everyone else and they'll stop.").

Tucker

[exboyfil]

11. My most interesting experience growing up in the institutional

hell called public school was seeing someone burn my bicycle seat while my Honors 9th grade English teacher walked by me. I told her what was happening, and she did absolutely nothing (it would have been simple enough for her to walk with me towards the perpretrator confronting him - an upperclassman). The best thing that happened from me was moving away from that High School after 9th grade. Of course I had a bully in gym class in 10th grade, but I stood up to him, and, while he punched me in the face bending my glasses, I got my licks in. Of course the toothless administration once again did nothing. From 3rd grade to 10th grade I had bullies in my life. It usually gets better if you confront them and fight. Going to the administration accomplishes nothing.

[AlienGirl]

12. Very hard to fight back when you are short, skinny, and uncoordinated

I was 21 lbs. and the height of an average three-year-old when I went into first grade. My size never did catch up with the norm: I currently sometimes wear hand-me-downs from a friend's eight-year-old. (I wear a kids' size 12 at age 36. In adult clothes, it's a size nothin'.) I have spatial cognition defects and slow-ish reaction time, so I could never quite aim a punch or get the first punch in...even before I declared myself a pacifist in eighth grade.

Tucker

[exboyfil]

15. I was also small for my age (male and 5'5" as an adult)

I was recounting how I handled it not advising anyone else to handle it in the same fashion. I was lucky I never got beat very badly (which could have happened one time when I did back down and got away). Having to do it all over again I really don't know what else I would do. I do think that my parents moving after 9th grade saved my life since I was considering suicide. My new school was much better (even with the bully in 10th grade).

That is the problem with public school. Any institution which you can't flee can turn into a hellhole. On the other hand many kid's homes are a hellhole too.

[Nay]

21. Yes, it is better to simply confront them and fight, most of the time. My son

was bullied in 6th grade by one especially disturbed boy (don't get me started on all the mentally ill kids who are thrown into public schools as if it will straighten them out). The school was unresponsive, the bus driver couldn't care less, the parents said my kid must have started it, etc. etc. I finally showed him how to throw a punch (and it's not like I'm a karate mom), where to hit the kid (not in the teeth/face), and when (not on school property).

They got off the school bus, the disturbed kid hit my son, and my son slammed a few punches into the kid's solar plexus. That was the end of the bullying.

[Odin2005]

26. ACK! "Stop being so different" I HATE THOSE kind of comments!

They go right back to the "it's all in your head" way of thinking! :grr:

[Kievan Rus]

61. That's just as bigoted as telling black people to stop being black

Then again, most members of the "in crowd" that I encountered in high school were just a much more civilized version of the racist skinheads or the Klan. Fittingly enough, a good deal of them actually were racist...it was not uncommon to hear them using the n-word.

[Gman2]

28. WEre we separated at birth? I used to be chased home every day by gangs from second grade on.

My parents then told me that I would get a beating, if I didnt beat the fuck outta anyone picking on me. I cried and cried. Then, I got in average two to three fights a week. I never lost a fight. And the reason, amongst others for their hating me, is I was the skinniest boy in class. The other being kicked up a grade in english. Oh, and I got a lot of bladder infections. Try asking to go to the bathroom, told no, and peeing at your seat.

Humans are violent, vindictive, petty, nasty animals. Ever since, I refuse to be bullied. I even developed an innability to kowtow to authority. Humans will act just like jackals. They will chew the leg off any straggler, that will hold back the pack.

My neighbor sees attacks, because she has MS. I noticed a change in how people traet me, when I got heart failure, from industry.

The whole teabagger/ second ammendment bloodbath hoped for thingie wears on me, as I want to rid us of all of them. Like BULLIES. By any means necessary.

[Joe Bacon]

40. And the teachers encouraged them!

Don't get me started about how I hate public schools because of all the bullying I suffered from punks. What made me even angrier were the teachers who encouraged and congratulated them when they attacked me. Especially the gym teachers. The only thing that kept me going was the belief that one day I would get out of that prison camp and be free. The day I graduated, I felt like Elie Wiesel leaving a Nazi death camp.

Oh it didn't stop there! Several asshole teachers continued to harass me after I left Auschwitz High School. But once I was out I could finally give them a well deserved tongue lashing. I let the motherfuckers have it. The look on their face was priceless. I left my home town and never looked back until my parents died. One of those assholes decided to pick up where it left off when Mom died. I confronted the son of a bitch outside the funeral home and let him have it. As the asshole ran back to his car, I still followed him, and yelled at that bastard at the top of my lungs. I made sure he's see me giving him the finger in his rear view mirror. To this day, when I go in the voting booth and see school bond questions on the ballot, I get PTSD flashbacks of their torture. I vote no on anything dealing with school bonds.

Conservatives would jump in here and urge me to support vouchers. Problem is that when there was only one school to go to you had no choice so a voucher would be useless. I really don't know what the answer is to improving education, I'm too scarred by what they did to me to even care.

[Odin2005]

47. +1,000,000,000,000

[d_r]

13. Please don't mistake my tone here

There is no doubt that kids with autism are at risk for being bullied. These results document that concern, and point out the need for serious efforts to confront this. There are a couple of problems with these findings that should be noted however. One, there is a selection bias here - this is not a random sample, and parents who had problems with bullying were more likely to take the time to respond, which skews the results. Second, there is no comparison to children who are not autistic. Many of those children's parents would report that they have been hit, kicked or chased and so on. Still this report documents there is a problem and hopefullly will result in increased attention to that issue. I have no doubt whatsoever that the difficulties that children with autism face draw the attention of bullies who victimize these children.

[midnight]

14. Bulling is ignored by schools because it costs them money to stop it.

NO bulling under any conditions-EVER! Schools learned to manipulate scores under no child left behind, they will learn to manipulate the bulling situation too. This is a mental health crisis that needs funding to educate the administration, the school boards, the teachers, and the community.

[tonysam]

23. Bullying can't be stopped unless administrators start setting an example and stop

bullying teachers. Principal-teacher relationships are grossly unequal because nobody is closely supervising the principals.

They basically get away with murder.

You can't expect the bullying of students to stop unless you can get rid of workplace abuse of teachers.

[Gman2]

29. NOT TRUE. They have adopted a zero tolerance policy.

This means that both the bully that punched you in the face, and the victim, who was punched in the face are suspended.

I had a funny relationship with my vice principles. I told them that my parents had approved beating the fuck outta bullies that hit first. Authorities dont like vigilantes. I didnt give a shit. Nowadays, I would be expelled.

[Posteritatis]

41. It's ignored because too many people still think it's either harmless or actively good

And, as another response to your comment notes, a lot of schools just enact policies that make it an expellable offense to be attacked and think that means they've done their job.

[Odin2005]

48. Yep, it's sickening.

:(

[Joe Bacon]

50. Will they really enforce it?

I doubt it. I still remember the torture I was put through in high school by bullies, and then having teachers tell me to suck up and take it like a man. What needs to be done is the next family whose child commits suicide because of school bullies should sue the school district and administrators for every last penny they can get. Maybe if you hit those lazy asses in the pocketbook enough, then they will act.

[Odin2005]

51. +1,000,000,000,000

[KakistocracyHater]

52. looking back, for me, it seems the teachers were/wanted to be part of the

"in crowd" and so they ignored that clique's behavior.

[Odin2005]

55. I noticed the same thing.

[Joe Bacon]

62. Sadly, there are some teachers who enjoy torturing kids.

That is the sad truth. I remember the torture I got from my 7th and 8th grade math teachers. Every day it was another insult from them and they encouraged kids to bully me. Then there was Mr. Macho football coach who would sneak up behind me as I walked from class to class and scream PUSSY or he would knock my books out of my arms and laugh at me.

It's 35+ years since I got out of that death camp and I STILL have nightmares of the torture. Maybe God can forgive them but I can't, as far as I'm concerned a pile of dog shit has more social value than those vile and repulsive torturers because at least a pile of dog shit actually attracts something

[Odin2005]

71. Don't get me started on my evil 3rd Grade teacher.

HATED HER! :grr:

[WriteDown]

74. Cantstandya!

This came to mind.

[Deja Q]

44. Back in the day, students got paddled for having shoelaces undone or chewing gum...

That was only 50 years ago, however.

Now things are too much on the other side of the pendulum.

If the parents and teachers won't do shit, will the community?

[BolivarianHero]

16. That's terrible...

And in a society where so many adults can't stand seeing two men kissing, autistic children are going to through Hell when they deal with other kids.

[Diclotican]

17. Odin2005

Odin2005

This is not surprising, as autistic children tend to be something else than the "norm"..

In 6 grade my little brother, who has Asberges syndrome was fycial attached by some of his own classmates, and I had to brake i up.. And I told them, if they want to fight, or tease them, they had to come to me, not him. And I can be rather fycial If angered, and can also look rather dangerous when angry... So his own class mates was backing down, and my brother was leaved a lone for as long as I was at the school.. He was teased, but he somewhat managed to show it off and never bee "hurt" by it. Not as we know it anyway, but he might hurt inside as he sometimes understand that he wasn't up to everything always. He is a smart man who know and understand far more than most people believe people with Aspbergs do. I believe that most people with Asberges is very intelligent and smart people, but who just can't show it.. But for us who know them, we know very well that they are intelligent The same happened at High School because we was in same school. My brother got into something with a 9 grader, and I had to step up to the plate and in some wat un-diplomatic matter to show it... He first tried to get to me, but I kind of run around him in circles and fight him out... After that my brother was been leaved alone in high school too.. Everything to protect my little brother...
But I had to take many hits for the "team" to protect my little brother... And yes, I was also bullied from 1 grade to I graduated.. Was a long story I doesn't want to get into now.. But yes I know what bullying in school means...

Diclotcian

[Leftist Agitator]

22. Just out of curiosity...

Is English not your first language, Diclotican?

[Odin2005]

24. He's Icelandic, IIRC

[Diclotican]

35. Odin2005

Odin2005

Not Isclandic, Noriwgian:)..

Diclotican

[Odin2005]

36. DOH, my bad!

[Diclotican]

69. Odin2005

Odin2005

But somewhat close. just 3 hour with an aircraft over the north atlantic, so are you in Iceland:)

Diclotican

[Diclotican]

34. Leftist Agitator

Leftist Agitator

No, my first language is Not english.. Norwigian is my first language:)

Diclotican

[Demeter]

68. Hej Diclotcian!

Lang tid!

Det aer "Physical" Det kommer fran Greek. "ph"="f"

[Diclotican]

79. Demeter

Demeter

Long time long see;).. Good to se you here. Hopefully you have had a good time since last time we "spoked"

Okay, my bad, english was never my best subject at school.. And I know where Physical came from, old Greek.. As many words in modern english, and many other languages indeed.. The Old Greeks really got it when they made that language... The Romans too, English is part French, part anglo-saxian and part Latin. What a "bastard" language it is:P

Diclotican

[zonkers]

18. My friend is a teacher. In her class, 1st graders are all protective of their autistic classmate

and pal. It's lovely to see, actually.

[Odin2005]

27. That's wonderful to hear!

:)

[SKKY]

33. My son has Down Syndrome, and his classmates are the same way...

...I watched him playing one day at recess (He could see that I was there), and he was having trouble getting through this slide/jungle gym/monkey bar thing. Two of his classmates, a boy and a girl, help him, then applauded when he got through. He of course applauded along with them. I cried like a little baby.

[connecticut yankee]

19. I have Tourette's Syndrome

which appeared when I was nine. And my life in grade school was hell from that point on. I was bullied, called names, picked on, chased home from school -- you name it.

I also was ADD, which didn't go over too well with my teachers. And my social skills were non-existent.

Thankfully, the symptoms went into remission when I was in my late teens, although I still have a couple of tics, which I manage to mask.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 35, so everyone (including myself) thought I was nuts.

I hate my hometown so much, I've never gone back.

[edc]

20. Unfortunately,

surveys like this tend to generate more heat than light. Even sadder, special education reform these days usually means reams and reams of new paperwork documenting how everyone is doing more of what they actually do less of because of the time spent doing the paperwork. The paperwork then becomes fertile soil for child advocacy lawyers who can sue because of inevitable clerical errors in the paperwork and claim they represent non-compliance with the law, which is usually true, again, because of the time consumed doing the paperwork rather than working with children.

[tonysam]

25. It sounds like you are a special education teacher, so you know exactly

what you are talking about.

Special education teachers, who are trained to teach students, have become little more than paper pushers and secretaries. That's one of the two reasons why there is high turnover in this aspect of education, while the other reason is these teachers are pushed out by administrators when they try to advocate for their students.

[Smarmie Doofus]

31. Mother o' christ is this ever true:

>>Even sadder, special education reform these days usually means reams and reams of new paperwork documenting how everyone is doing more of what they actually do less of because of the time spent doing the paperwork>>>

And Mencken couldn't have it said it better.

Can anything be done about it?

[susanr516]

42. Grandparent of severely autistic teen here

The special ed teachers have so much paperwork that 90% of direct teaching is now done by the para-professionals.

[mzteris]

30. who the hell is "shocked"???

What, they been living in a cave somewhere?

[FarCenter]

32. Humans are not evolved to live at anywhere near the current population density

So when large numbers of immature humans are concentrated in schools, there will be bullying to establish the social pecking order.

[Odin2005]

37. Excellent observation.

IMO it also explains many of the problems us folks on the Autism Spectrum have. Autistic traits were often adaptive in the time before huge, crowded human settlements.

[izquierdista]

38. I was never bullied

All through elementary school, I was the tallest kid in the class, maybe that's why. And as an adult, I don't have a problem getting respect from people either. There's a reason that the phrases "looking up to someone" and "looking down on someone" have the meanings that they do.

[Deja Q]

45. So let's reward people who use women as baby factories...

:sarcasm:

Screw the Duggars and not in the usual way...

[pitohui]

39. no shit sherlock what was their first clue?

i'm not convinced it was correct but as a child i was dx'd as a high functioning autistic and whether the dx was accurate or not, anything that makes you different, gets you hassled

children are vicious

and so are adults, esp. if you look different, which i did

we are animals, investing more studies to find out "why who knew we're animals" seems a waste of science dollars to me when we have people who are badly in need of help and $$$

let's take it as given we are animals and (dare i say it, even mammals) and go on from there...otherwise we are forever reinventing the wheel and getting nowhere

[Deja Q]

43. I have AS too. PTSD as a result of it as well. Anybody shocked better not be in the school systems

Even I know, mostly from empirical experience, you go reprimand the bullies. We with AS are not the problem. The bullies are.

But we're scapegoats. So it's okay. :puke:

[Arkana]

46. Sponsored by the Department of Painfully Frickin' Obvious Bullshit.

[Critters2]

49. My brother has Asperger's, and his school years were hell. nt

[krabigirl]

53. Not shocking at all. There has to be zero tolerance for bullying.

[AngryAmish]

56. Zero tolerence?

Expelled for bullying? Does nasty gossip count as bullying?

[Quantess]

54. More laws about IEPs.....ugh.

"part of an effort to pass legislation requiring that autistic children be taught bullying coping tactics as part of their individual educational plans."

While I agree that teaching bullying coping tactics to children with autism sounds like a great idea, I bristle at the idea of even more legal requirements added to IEPs.

[Jkid]

57. It's surpriengly obvious

I've been through three years of hell due to Asperger behavior, mostly because I wore a pikachu bookbag while everyone else got more expensive bookbags. (I didn't had most teens had, nagging power, and I had little interest in a new bookbag, it worked fine for me.) I was peer harassed for three years. I went aggressive and I got suspended twice for a columbine threat and for assaulting. The school didn't care and mostly gave me useless advice.

But really, bullies attack autistic teens because of fear,ignorance, and prejudice. They fear difference, that's what drives teens to bully others.

[Odin2005]

59. I was teased because I played Pokemon until my late teens.

It's a common interest among autistic kids.

[Jkid]

63. Why is pokemon a common interest among autistic kids?

What did older teens were interested in high school and middle school instead of pokemon?

[Odin2005]

65. The collecting aspect appeals to many autistics.

Most kids grow out of the game in high school, perceiving it as "kid stuff".

[Diclotican]

80. Odin2005

Odin2005

My brother have the tendency still, to play Pokemon, not the card game.. but the video-games.... And he is over 30 now.. It is little like my foster mother once said.. My brother is a grown man, but inside him, it is still somewhat of a little kid who want to do what little kids want to do.. He might have some faults my little brother... But when I think about it, I would not trade him for everything in the world.. He can be a pain in the ass, but also one of the kindest, nicest, decent men I ever Will know.. And he is MY brother too boot.. I think I'm a lucky man who have him as my brother.. Because he also keep my "little kid" in life... Even that my "little kid" is smaller, far smaller og not that playfully as my brothers "Little kid"... We can tell stories, when we are out driving (I'm driving because he have never got the license)that maybe not the rest of the world really understand - because they doesn't got the humor, or that they just doesn't understand what we really is talking about...

But, as before told, my brother is also a man who understand really sharp what happened around the world, and he have often a view of the word that is Sharp as ice.. He know far more than he might be able to talk about, he just doesn't have the word to put into the whole.. But he is a smart man...

And a really artistic man too.. He is a really good wood carver, who can made the best carvings that even the pros have difficulty to match...

Diclotican

ps, and you can be teasted for allmoust everything.. I was teased becouse I had the same name as a famous cross country man in the 1980s in Norway. And I really doubt it was becouse of my ability for cross country skeing.. It was more becouse I had, and have a temper who can blow up as hell if provoked... In grown age I am capable of not blow up as I did when I was a child. Wel, i was more or less teased for everything that is posible to be teased for... But somehow I managed to surive it all..
But it is maybe worth note, that I have NEVER been to a reunion after I graduated from High School... Never been able to talk to the others who I was going to school with... Im grown, but some of the pain is there still.. And wil allways be there I guess..

[AnotherMother4Peace]

58. Happens in the work force also - very capable IT's, engineers, etc. - but different, perhaps not

gossipy, not interested in small talk, more intelligent then coworkers - leading to gossip, bullying, being treated badly by staff and supervisors (especially supervisors who are less capable).

[Manifestor_of_Light]

60. Lawsuits are the only answer.

Hit 'em in the pocketbook. Sue the school district. Document everything, every incident in writing, and or in pictures or video. Show a continuing pattern of harassment and the lack of the authorities to deal with it when notified of the bullying.

And if you have to, sue the bully's parents under their homeowners policy, if any of the bullying or assault happens at the bully's house.

I was a year ahead in school, female, and smaller that most of the other kids. I never got in a fight, but big girls threatened me all the time. I never started a fight because I knew I'd get suspended and blamed for it, and I was terrified of breaking a hand or a finger -- I'm a musician and wouldn't hit someone because of that. I never learned how to fight.

P.E. was the worst. Between the dykey teachers and the six foot tall jockettes hassling me constantly, it was hell. The jocketts liked to hit me in the head with a basketball. That hurts. They also liked to play Red Rover and try to kill me by swooping their arms down and tripping me so I would fall on my face full-body style.

I was hassled for being smart. I did what my mom told me. I told the little shits who hassled me to go to hell. ANd they threatened to report me to the teacher and say "UMMMMM you said a bad word".
I said, "Fine, go ahead and tell 'em".

I also had kids bug me constantly to cheat on tests. They wouldn't leave me alone, so I gave them WRONG answers.

When I did a book report on "My Life With Martin Luther King, Jr." in 1969, some little shit in my English class called me a N*****-lover. I told them to go to hell too.

And I've had bosses insult me and hassle me because I was more educated than they were. I felt like some of them were thinking "OMG! She has a Bachelor's degree! Horrible! She'll make me look bad! OMG! She has a law degree! She even admitted it on her resume! We can't promote her, she's too smart for us!".

Some judges and lawyers hassled me and insulted me, but I had just as much education as they did -- I have a law degree, which is a doctorate, but I was working as a court reporter. I guess they had anger management problems like John Bolton.

All my life I've gotten the feeling that I've been treated like a stupid little girl, when I'm actually an educated woman.

[Joe Bacon]

64. You're not the only one.

And are you correct about gym class. Nothing was more humiliating than having Mr. Macho Football Coach constantly insulting and making fun of me.

The only solace I had in high school was chess. I would subscribe to Russian periodicals and books. Chess was really the only thing I cared about. It didn't help that the teacher sponsoring the chess club told me point blank that I wasn't welcome. Once I made the fatal mistake of discussing Russian chess analysis with a fellow student as I walked to a class. I didn't realize that my 8th grade math teacher was behind me until he screamed at me, calling me a dummy at the top of his lungs. My parents kept pushing me to try some extracurricular activities. Dad especially wanted me to try out for the debate club, but the sponsoring teacher refused to let me try because she said I was too stupid to speak in an intelligent manner.

I got one revenge on the school, there was a local TV school quiz show called "Battle of Wits" and one teacher wanted me to try out for it "for the good of the school". He had to be kidding. I was given a quiz and got a perfect score, the only one who had that. When the selection day came, I was sick. My home room teacher called my mother asking why I was faking it, This while I was throwing up in my bathroom with a high temperature. So they packed the quiz team with their favorites who went on to make complete fools of themselves on live TV.

Then I took several Achievement tests along with the SAT and scored 700 on biology and 770 on American History (out of 800). Once again, I was accused of cheating. By this time I didn't care anymore. I was told I wasn't college material, but I went anyway and got my BA and MA. I packed up and left and never went back except when my parents died. I was so scarred by them that I didn't have the ability to speak in front of people until I went to Toastmaster meetings and got some confidence. Even now, I prepare training for multiple offices, I give the training, but I take my glasses off so I cannot see a crowd. If I see any crowd, I have panic attacks because I remember the bullies spitting on me and beating me constantly.

Just writing this gives me a panic attack and I'm shaking like crazy as I try to get this out of my system. I pray I don't have any nightmares tonight because they love to pop up whenever I talk or write about these experiences

[Manifestor_of_Light]

81. Thank you for that input, Joe.

I'm glad you loved chess and learned Russian. You enriched your life in spite of their idiocy.

I tried out for a local tv show called Prep Bowl, modeled on the GE College Bowl. I was fast with answering, but they didn't pick me, probably because they already had one girl on the team of four. I have a head full of trivia in many subjects, and I'm fast at recall.

They picked a big guy who was smart, but just not fast with answers. They lost. Serves 'em right.

I placed out of biology and english and American history with high scores like that.

The only thing I cared about was playing the violin and classical music. I was an orchestra nerd and didn't care about anything else...except boys. But the boys wouldn't ask me out because I was smart and refused to act stupid. All my girlfriends were smart and wore glasses and never had dates. Two of them are Montessori teachers now, one of them got a Ph.D. in Physics and went to Rice and Caltech.
I was convinced i must have been ugly. The only thing that kept me going was that I knew I could pick my own friends when I got to college. I hung out with the smartest guys -- physics, math, engineering, architecture -- and had a great time. Two of them are professors now.

The orchestra teacher would never put me in the top two stands in the first fiddles, because his daughter always got to be concert mistress and he had his favorites. She was not that talented. We were very competitive playing for chairs. I never got past fifth chair.

However, in two excellent community orchestras in Houston, I was concertmistress of one, and third chair in the first fiddles in the other.....so the teacher's opinion was invalid when I was 22 instead of 17. I always played in tune. Always.


Another story: I was going to college, and doing temp secretary work one summer. I was 19 and a senior in college. I had never taken a physics or higher math course. However all my boyfriends were smart.

I worked for some defense contractor down at Mission Control near NASA. This boss decided to show me how smart he was. He started talking, blah blah Carl Sagan, I'm sure you don't know who he is.

I said, "He teaches astrophysics at Cornell". This was 1974.

Then he tried another slam dunk. He said, blah blah blah Richard Feynman, I'm sure you don't know who he is, either.

I said, "He wrote the Feynman Lectures on Physics. He worked on the Manhattan Project".

After that the sexist bastard gave up. Stupid little 19 year old college girls who can type don't know anything, except for the ones that hang out with math majors. :evilgrin:


Ray hated sports and dissociated at school because he couldn't hit a ball. He was born with crossed eyes, had a bunch of eye operations at Johns Hopkins, and has always seen double. He still sees double. He also couldn't run b/c he was born with a club foot which was corrected by having the tendons lengthened. He has the same contempt for jocks that I do.

He is five foot eight and wouldn't fight anyone either. He plays guitar. And I'm five foot three and weighed all of 115 in high school...I was a size 8 or a 9 junior petite. Sometimes it's not a good alternative to try to defend yourself.

However, he is quite good at shooting and editing video and visualizing in 3-D.

Note: I went to Trinity University, a school that only gives tennis scholarships. Our football team played real POWERHOUSES, I tell ya, like Lon Morris College, Tarleton State College, AND.....
The University of Guadalajara!!! No shit!

:D

[Socal31]

66. Bullying is hard to stop.

I am not justifying it by any means. However, people who think that someone can be monitoring everyone on the playground at every moment are naive.

[treestar]

70. Why not?

sounds like you are in fact justifying it.

too long we have treated it as though the victim has a problem. No, it's the bully who has a problem and it ought to be a big one.

[Demeter]

67. Especially by theTeachers and Administrators, Even those in "Special Ed"

I could have cheerfully sued and won, had I not been dealing with the Kid's health and her father's deadbeat tactics at the time...

[Odin2005]

72. My Special Ed "advisor" was an absolute ditz.

Nice woman, but absolutely clueless about Autism Spectrum Disorders and often dismissed my sensory issues.

[KamaAina]

73. Also, water is wet

the difference is that water can't help being wet. Bullies, on the other hand... :grr: :banghead:

[superconnected]

75. Bullying is a problem even when kids aren't Autistic. I'm glad this guy

finally wants someone made responsible. I remember well the big - and I mean BIG and grossly overweight bully at our school. I only suffered a little from him - I was a small girl - he kicked me in the butt one time as I was walking and he was behind me, and I hit the concrete hard right on my face. The recess teacher did nothing to him for it and my parents didn't take it seriously. For years I didn't understand how people could be so ambivalent to an assault. I suspect the school never got the kid for physically assaulting anyone - yet he did it all the time. I was lucky, I avoided him most of the time. I remember many were not lucky and were getting out of the school at odd exits and running to make it home without getting beat up from that kid. I still have animosity about that kid. I don't have kids now but if I did, I'd be a parents who called the police the second my kid got physically touched. I'd never let that crap go.

[TrogL]

76. And what, exactly, are they supposed to do?

Most bullies are extraverted sociopaths.

Many teachers are drawn to the profession because they are extraverts. They deal favourably with the bullies because they bond on an extraverted level, to the point of using bullies as their enforcers - the bullies are allowed to do the sociopathic things the teacher's couldn't get away with.

Aspies are introverts who often draw the teachers' ire simply because they aren't extraverted.

[mstinamotorcity]

77. it is the bullies

who have autism. The children who are autistic usually have very special gifts. The bullies gift is ignorance.

[Odin2005]

78. Wow, that is a very ignorant statement.

Nearly all bullies are not autistic.

[TrogL]

82. Most bullies are extraverted socializers

...the exact opposite of autistic.

They use their socialization to get others to join in the bullying and out-fox the teachers.