A comment from a 'mentally ill' American. [View All]

[cliffordu]

Here's the thing:

I have a bipolar "condition".

A type of Old Skool Manic Depression. I get depressed at 750 miles an hour.

I've been on SSDI for about 8 years.

I used to get 760 dollars a month plus medicare and  zero deductable for meds.

I take Lamictal for my nuttiness and Diovan for a whack blood pressure.

A couple of years ago, because of the Bush Medicare 'adjustments' (the name escapes me) I  have to pay 120 dollars a month for Medicare coverage.

My SSDI payments were, all of a sudden, 640 bucks a month.

And at the same time,  my drugs cost 20 bucks a month, a 200% increase.

Living large on the government teat.

Last year, due to MORE government cuts,  my psychiatrist lost her grant to work at my county health care clinic and was replaced with a nurse, who, god bless her, tried with all her might to help, but the only answer she had when I was in trouble was to suggest more drugs to be prescribed by a doctor who I never saw, he being overwhelmed with the Schizophrenics too wild not to be seen.......

Today I went to get my drugs refilled and they wanted 88 bucks to fill the prescription due to a new deductable.

I had to choose between food, blood pressure meds,  or food and psych meds.

So I chose.

I have food and my mood should be relatively moderated. For a while.

Thank God I DO have temporary resources that pay my rent and some of my ancillary expenses.

I have to admit that my money management skills are not good at all.....I have wasted a TON of dough as a result of a manic episode in the last 8 months.

My fucking fault.

But still....

The killer in Arizona didn't operate in a vacuum.  The social services, the safety net that began to erode during the Reagan administration (with plenty of help from the occasional Democratic congress....) used to take care of the truly nutty like that shooter, and the almost self destructive like me, is basically gone - they pack the drugs into us now  and leave us to the whim of brain chemistry and the largesse of the drug companies and family......

The only place the destitute have to go is the Emergency room for a three day visit to the psych ward and a massive dose of Zyprexa (look that fucker up), or something worse.

Then it's back on the street, with a prayer and a hope you can afford what they're prescribing now.

I'm not excusing anything, I have no excuse for my behavior or self pity.

I sure as fuck don't excuse that asshole in Arizona.

I just thought you all should know how difficult it is to be truly fucked up in this 'Bright and shining beacon of Freedom.'

Banning guns or abusing the less than sane is not truly the answer, under these conditions.

If 'we' - the mentally ill - were truly to blame for gun violence, there would be tens of thousands of mass killings a year, considering the number of we "subnormals" and the number of guns are available.

That argument is a straw man of the scummiest kind.

As I said  - I cannot excuse  that fucker in Arizona,  who's only advisors (I am convinced) were the Glenn Becks  and the Sarah Palins of this world.

But I wonder if he could afford his drugs.

If he couldn't, then we should rethink the status quo.

Just sayin'


****

BY THE WAY:

God bless you if you think about it, but
I don't want or need your help, so don't offer.  
That isn't what this rant is about.
If you truly want to help, donate to your local free clinic.

c