Reply #23: NYC_SKP, my situation was very much like yours - [View All]

[tosh]

mom with dementia, dad with failing body & organs. I'd promised to help them live at home (2 blocks away from me) as long as I felt they were safe there. The last year of that was so intense, I really can't say how I physically survived it. I had no siblings to help but I was able to hire someone to stay with mom while I went with dad to gazillions of appointments, or to drive him to ones that didn't require my ears (he was practically deaf) and my memory/knowledge of his medical records.

By the time I moved them into an ALF because the falls were becoming more frequent, I actually worried I had let them live at home too long.

I have no regrets, though, about my decision to move them. Dad is gone now but my mom (89)is more contented and settled than I've seen her in years. She gets GREAT care and lots of attention from an amazing staff that has special training in the care of dementia patients.

The decisions were tough ones but I DARE anyone to second guess me. They had reached a point of needing more care and safety than I was capable of providing.