Health care story and request for advice [View All]

[susanwy]

I paid my dues so I could post this story. I've been lurking again since the election because I have not had the time or energy to spar with DU. This story is about my husband's brothers family.

My SIL was diagnosed with breast cancer over six years ago. Her dr ordered routine mamos at 35 because of family history, and she was diagnosed at 37 - KEEP OUR MAMOS, but I digress. At the time she had crappy health insurance and a crappy job where the boss was awful to her during her treatment. They were already in debt due to the birth of her twins, one of whom had severe lung problems at birth (neither had health insurance - because my BIL was laid off during the pregnancy and they could not afford COBRA). My nephews were 5 when she went through a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation. Then they lost their health insurance again because my SIL was laid off. My BIL had a new job but there was a waiting period to get on his new job policy, plus a preexisting condition clause. Shortly after, my BIL slipped a disk in his back and had to have back surgery (before he was covered). So, in 10 years they had three family health emergencies and only had insurance during one of them, needless to say, they owed their soul to local Doctors and Hospitals.

After 10 years of massive debt due to all the uncovered and under covered care this family needed, we finally talked them into filing for bankruptcy. My BIL, in that time, went back to school and became a nurse so he would no longer have to break his back (literally) to support the family. Things were finally looking up, the kids and SIL were healthy, BIL was earning good money, SIL was back to work and they actually had enough $$ to look at a new car to replace the beater they had shared for years. I can't remember them every having a real vacation and we were talking about doing something together.

Of course, it was too good to be true, and this summer my SIL's breast cancer returned. It has metastasized to her bones and they give her 6 months to 2 years to live. She is on a morphine pump and trying desperately to still work. Thank the gods that this time she has a boss who is a saint, he lost his wife to breast cancer and has told my SIL that he will keep her on his small business insurance until her death, all she has to do is pretend to work. They will have all the co-pays, deductibles and out of pocket (not to mention the drug bill, that is the worst). In the end she will die and my BIL will be left with my precious 11 year old nephews and a mountain of debt again (and of course he can't file for bankruptcy again). We have offered what help we can, but they are too proud to accept our money (not that we have a lot, but we do ok).

Now, I've had my share of health care issues over the years, including dealing with Lupus since 1998. But, I've always had good health insurance. I'd give up the tax free premiums, medical reimbursement and pay higher drug costs if it would keep families like my BIL and SIL from going through what they have gone through. WE NEED SINGLE PAYER, but I still reluctantly support the bills working through congress because we have to start somewhere. Although, if I were president I would have broken this into two bills - one to reform the awful practices insurance companies engage in and another for medicare for all.

ADVISE PLEASE - my BIL and SIL have never had a real vacation. I've lost two friends to cancer this year and both went on one or two week dream vacations with family before they were too weak to enjoy the trip. At the funerals the families told me they wouldn't trade those trips for anything (other than their loved one's lives back). They were able to say all they wanted to say and laugh and cry together. I want to send my SIL and her family on a cruise and give them the tickets for Christmas, but I don't know where to start (because I don't travel much). I can't afford to send my husband and our family with them, or her siblings or parents, nor do I even know how to get a hold of them to see if they would want to go.

What are good Alaska cruises? When is the best time to go (in the next few months)? If not Alaska, then tropical... I just don't want to wait too long. My SIL loves wolves and Alaska and mountains and whales....plus I know that when I went through chemo treatments for my Lupus, I hated the heat. So, I think north would be better than tropical, but time may dictate that decision.

Can I get an "open" ticket so they can decided the dates? They could then invite other family that can pay their own way.
Are there any charities that might be able to help me? Do any of the cruise companies offer deals in situations like this?
I can afford two to three thousand $$ to set this up, but that is about it for my budget.

Sigh, this is all so damn sad...plus, we found out from them literally on the way to our dream vacation in Hawaii this summer. I should have just racked up the CC and found a way to have them join us .... I feel very guilty.

Susan
:cry: