Read all about it: MILLIONS of Americans face TERRIFYING PROSPECT of receiving MEDICAL CARE [View All]

[Mira]

Kate Heidel - Humorist
http://www.wearyourcape.com/news_satire/healthfear.htm


MILLIONS OF AMERICANS FACE TERRIFYING PROSPECT OF RECEIVING
MEDICAL CARE
Calmly waiting to die while in bankruptcy may be the latest
beloved American tradition to meet its end.

With the U.S. House health-reform bill passed, millions of
fearful Americans are looking to the Senate to block legislation
that may forcibly remove one of their most treasured of all
American birthrights: receiving substandard health insurance,
and, for the lucky 48 million, no health insurance whatsoever.

For those freely denied health insurance today, the specter of
universal coverage is leading many to question what it even means
to be an American citizen.

Said one man at an anti health-reform rally, "My father and
his father did not have health insurance. They were free
Americans, who were proud to fight their cancer with God and
a little mash of bitter almond and royal jelly. I only hope
I can live to be 53 like both of them before the commie
Democrats force me to get screenings and other hocus pocus.
Live free or die, I say!!"

Other Americans, who have for decades enjoyed health
insurance riddled with loopholes, are clearly frightened
just to contemplate the possibility of dependable coverage.

"If there are no pre-existing conditions anymore, how do
I even know I exist?" cried one woman demonstrator, overcome
with emotion. "I - I've always been turned down because of
my hysterectomy. It's who I am!! Please don't take my identity
away from me, I beg you!!"

Citing these heartfelt concerns, Senator Joseph Lieberman
of Connecticut vowed that he would "do my level best to see
that the pleas of millions of patriotic Americans with
chronic health conditions that have remained untreated for
years due to our world-class insurance restrictions will
not go unheard. I hear you, and I hereby make this solemn
promise: no American will be forced on my watch to have
the option of choosing the comprehensive health insurance
or life that has been forced upon me and my colleagues in
Congress. Oh, and upon our unfortunate families.

"No one will be denied their inalienable right as Americans
to forget to list acne as a pre-existing condition on their
insurance forms and then be rejected by our finest insurance
carriers. How dare we as a legislative body deny these
rights to ordinary Americans just because we government
elitists and our elitist families are forced into full,
inexpensive coverage for life! This travesty of justice
will not happen with my vote, I assure you."

"That sounds good," said the woman clinging desperately
to her hysterectomy, "but will he stick to his guns, or
lose his nerve at the last minute? I am so skeptical of
Washington politicians, especially now that the House
has betrayed us."