Reply #96: A stinging slap on the wrist, or noisy but painless clap to a well padded rear ... [View All]

[TheMadMonk]

...is a damned site more effective that initiating a game of "Let's outsmart/manouever mum/dad." by attempting distraction or removing the object of fascination. Eventually, no matter how careful you are, the odds are damned good that a child will be in a position to investigate unhindered. Far far better to establish an autonomous pain aversion response, than to rely on mantaining a totally "antiseptic" environment.

Generally it only takes a very small number of stings, before a two finger touch to the wrist is sufficent reminder not to touch. And then as language skills become established a verbal reminder "Is that yours?" soon suffices. The final result, generally well before their third birthday, is a child who will ask permision before reaching and who will accept "no" as an answer without demure or a shrieking tantrum.


Several hundred million years of evolution has gone into establishing pain aversion as a (arguably the) primary survival mechanism. There is not a nurturing creature on this planet that does not use in the rearing of its young.


Should it be used as the ONLY mechanism? Of course not.


Other methods: time out, grounding, removal of privileges, etc ARE NOT pain free. They are simply the substitution of emotional pain for physical. Furthermore, any "marks" left by misapplication are generally not immediately obvious, and may indeed not manifest until many years later.

A major shortcoming of "modern" child rearing techniques is that they are not terribly effective, unless they are applied with 100% consitency AND in a manner that pretty much has to be tailored to the individual needs and peculiarities of each and every separate child.

Any idiot can quickly learn exactly when, and how hard to spank. (Which is fortunate, given that any idiot can become a parent.) However, it takes a good deal of specialised training, the ability to adsorb such and a high degree of empathy to effectively apply "enlightened" childrearing methods. This is why accredited childcare now generally requires at least diploma level, if not degree level education.