Ten basic truths about the fight for equal marriage rights for gay couples [View All]

[Spryboy]

We need to be working harder at the grass roots level to be spreading the truth about equal marriage rights, especially considering what is going on in Maine and Washington State today. So here are ten basic truths to get out there, to counteract the lies and fear-mongering and disinformation the right-wing and anti-gay forces of ignorance and bigotry and all-too-successfully spreading:

1. Gay couples are not asking for 'special rights'. Gay couples just want the same rights and privileges as every other American Citizen has and takes for granted. If anything, marriage is currently a "special right" of heterosexuals, and , "special rights" aren't fair.

2. Same-Sex Marriage has nothing to do with religion. Nobody is asking for any changes from any church at all. Gay couples just want to be able to go to City Hall or Justice of the Peace and get a marriage license, like anyone else can. Just because The State allows a given marriage, doesn't mean any church has to support or perform that e marriage. Many churches will not marry interfaith couples, requiring anyone getting married in their church to convert to the church before marriage. This is fine. Churches can set their own rules. It has nothing to do with the state or the actual obtaining of a civil marriage license.

3. Gay people do NOT already have these rights, and civil unions or domestic partnerships do not provide equal rights and responsibilities under the law. Separate is not equal. It's amazing how many people actually seem to not understand that gay people are being denied rights in this area. There are over a thousand rights and responsibilities granted by the stroke of a pen in a marriage license, many of which can be obtained in no other way. Civil unions and somestic partnerships, where they exist, are only partial solutions. They make things a little better, but it's still not even close to equality.

4. Legalizing same-sex marriage isn't redefining marriage for any heterosexual. It doesn't affect any straight person's marriage, or definition thereof, in any way. It doesn't change the definition for any church. If you're not a gay person, your life continues as before.

5. Marriage is constantly being redefined by straight people already anyway. Marriage never used to be about love, now it is. Divorce never used to be allowed; now it is. People of mixed race used to be unable to get married; now they can. It goes on and on. Marriage has never been this pure, static, unchanging thing. Marriage has also never been a purely religious thing. Marriage also didn't used to be considered a "sacred rite". And even today, right now, "marriage" means different things to different people. Some see it as a spiritual thing, some see it as a romantic thing, and some see it as a meal-ticket. It's an expansive, big-tent institution.

6. Marriage isn't solely about religion. Atheists can and do get married all the time. If two straight atheists can go to City Hall and get married, without any church or religion stopping it... why can a church or religion stop two gay people from getting married?

7. Marriage isn't solely about children. Elderly people past the child-bearing years, men who have had vasectomies, women who have had their tubes tied or who have had hysterectomies, as well as couples who have no interest in having children, all get married all the time. If barren people can go to City Hall and get married, without any church or religion stopping it... why can a church or religion stop two gay people from getting married?

8. If you don't "believe" that gays should get married, that is your opinion and you're entitled to it... however, your opinion should not be enshrined in the secular legal system as a law, forced upon everyone. It is wrong to legislate opinions. An awful lot of people don't believe gay people should be treated as second class citizens and denied basic rights and security in their lives with their partners.

9. Many, many churches actually support same-sex unions, and some have performed them for decades. This is about religious freedom. Just because YOUR religion doesn't like it, doesn't mean your religion should trump every other in terms of what is legal under secular law. Unitarians, the United Church of Christ, the Reform Jewish Synagogue, and Liberal Quakers all perform same-sex marriage ceremonies, as do many other individual churches within broader religious sects (Methodists, Episcopalians, and others). Why should marriages performed by those churches be "less real" in the eyes of the law than those performed by, say, the Mormon church or the Church of Scientology? And for the record, the "religious ceremony" conveys no rights at all. Gay couples can get "married" in a church right now, today, if that's what they want... but this isn't REAL marriage. REAL marriage involves a secular and civil marriage license that is recognized by the state, regardless of whether any church recognizes it. THIS is all we're talking about in the "gay marriage" debate.

10. This is simply about equal civil rights for all Americans. Gay marriage will eventually pass. Our country has always moved forward, expanding civil rights for all Americans and struggling towards being that more perfect union. History is on the side of gay marriage. It will happen. It's sad that our country is not leading on this issue though, and that we're so far behind countries like the Netherlands, Spain, Canada, and even South Africa. All these countries have legal and full marriage (and more are being added to the list all the time), and there simply hasn't been any negative effects in these countries. All the excessive fear-mongering going on in this country about the sky falling if gay marriage becomes legal is just a lie. This country should be leading and championing equal rights for oppressed minorities. It's a shame we're being held back by irrational fear and ignorant bigotry.