Living Small in a high-cost economy [View All]

[SoCalDem]

My friend Dave (not his real name) and I were having a discussion yesterday. He's been unemployed for a very long time now. Before he was unemployed, he had what we all claim to be a middle class life.. the house, the nice car, the family.

Since his unemployment, he's lost all of that..except the car. His wife and he divorced (his youngest kid is 20 or so). It was an amicable divorce, but his prolonged unemployment took a heavy toll on the marriage, and probably hastened the end of it.

He actually was offered a job, a few months ago, but it required standing for periods of time, and he cannot do that. he was injured in a car accident years ago and has a terribly injured leg. It healed badly and he needs some serious surgery to straighten it out. He has Medicaid, but since he "can" walk, they will not allow for surgery, and during the years he had a job, he had pretty bad insurance, and since his job did not interfere with his disability, he just put it on the back burner.

He's a 50-something guy, whose physical capabilities make finding another job a real problem.

He's been doing odd jobs, and selling stuff on Craig's List, to keep himself afloat.. He left all the household stuff behind, with his wife, so he literally could fit everything he owns, in his car. He rents a room from a friend who also lost his job, for $300 a month, and cooks his own meals based on what's on sale at the grocery store, and how much cash he has on him when he shops.

The odd thing is this.. He said to me that even though he has NOTHING, compared to what he used to have, he is actually happier. He sees his kids more now, and his relationship with the ex-wife is better than when they were married...he has dinner at her place at least once a week, and there is no fighting or arguing anymore.

He said that since he has so little, he does not fear losing it anymore. The fear of losing what he had, was what drove him for all those years, and now that he's lost it, he's actually more hopeful than anxious.

Perhaps he's just one of those cockeyed optimists we always hear about. I expected him to be bitter & angry, but he is just the opposite.

He said he knows that he will have to start over , but he's learned to do with so much less than he ever thought he could, and when he does find work again, he knows he'll never again fall into the trap of being owned by things.