Reply #104: I'm so sorry about your friend [View All]

[wyntertyme]

It hit so close to home for me - especially when I read the part about having to justify a divorce w/ her family because she'd built up his image to her family. I did the same thing. One rainy evening as I was driving home from a class, I considered running the car off the road. I was tired of the pain - pain that no one knew,not even my teen-aged children, and I couldn't share because everyone thought I had the perfect home, the perfect marriage.

But behind closed doors, it was different. Baseless accusations of infidelity were just the tip of the iceberg and had gone on since the first year we married. The pain had become unbearable, or so I thought. I don't remember why I changed my mind that evening, but I'm glad that I did. I spoke to my family doctor, whose response to my "but he doesn't hit me", with a statement that validated my pain.

Since that time, I've begun a new life, in another part of the country. For many years I was estranged from my children because they could not (and we still don't discuss it) deal with the truth. I've been in a good, solid relationship for several years.

Keep an eye out on your friends - even the briefest of words and random acts of kindness can be what keeps them hanging on.

Basic human respect and love: it's why I'm a liberal also.