Reply #265: Thank you for this post. [View All]

[Jamastiene]

I do not have a non-Western name, but I do know what it is like to be ridiculed for names. My mother gave me a ton of names and for some odd reason, the nurse misspelled my first name. By misspelling my first name, it changed the pronunciation of that name from what it was supposed to be to something else entirely.

I don't go by that first name, but as in lots of times in our lives, our given names are used in a formal setting and we have to answer by our first name. My tenth grade English teacher not only refused to call me by the name I go by, but even after I explained to her that the nurse misspelled my first name, she insisted on calling me by the name as spelled as opposed to how my mother intended.

That simple misspelling of my first name along with the fact that my mother gave me so many names has given me more trouble in life than most people would imagine. It might seem minor for someone who hasn't lived with it for 38 years of their life, but the ridicule is a nightmare. No one has ever truly attempted to learn my real full name. People pretend to try, then break off into adding all kinds of names that are not there and laugh and poke fun. Even adults do it. It wasn't funny the first time someone did it when I was a kid and it is REALLY NOT FUNNY when other adults do it now. It is tiresome and annoying.

As far as my first name being misspelled, I sometimes imagine how much more time I could have saved if I didn't ALWAYS have to write that extra "n" every time I have had to write my first name. For those who don't believe that time would add up, think about when you sign a check when paying bills every month for years and years in your adult life. Do you think that adds up? It does.

Also, when you know what your first name is, but you have to not only answer to what your first name should be but also to another pronunciation that sounds different, it is very confusing. As a child, I had to learn 2 first names to answer to, plus all the other names my mother gave me.

My names have been a source of ridicule, bad attempts at humor, taunting, teasing, and outright disrespect for my entire life now. I hate it when someone asks me for my full name, because so far, absolutely everyone has had some smart ass remark to make about so many names. Add to that the fact that I have to spell my first name wrong because of a FReeper nurse and it just avalanches into a feeling of dread.

Why does a bank teller have to make such a big deal out of a customer's name? It's not like I can go to another bank and not be ridiculed there too. So, I have to take it from whoever is dishing it and pretend that I don't think they are rude and condescending.

Sometimes, I feel like the kids in sandboxes and kids in grade school are more mature than most of the adults. It's ridiculous.