What I learned from the Today show today... [View All]

[Greyhound]

For the first time in a long time, I turned on the TV for something other than a DVD. The Greyhound household uninstalled the dish over a year ago, so I'm limited to the broadcast networks. The best signal came from our NBC affiliate so I watched the Today show. For someone that no longer has a resistance to the assault of corporate media, it was fascinating, and when I say fascinating I mean in the sense of watching an hour-long train wreck is fascinating. Here's what I was told by the Today Show...

North Koreans are starving, not because they are living under the dictator Kim Jong IL and have been subject to an economic embargo for approximately half a century, but because they are communists. Not to worry though, they will soon be feasting on enormous rabbits bred by some guy, sorry for the lack of detail, I was still stunned at the previous revelation and missed his details. They also neglected to mention how the North Koreans are going to feed these rabbits the massive amounts of "special diet" that is required to get them this big.

Anna Nicole is still dead.

The idiots that decided to climb an 11,000 ft peak, in winter, are exceptional and brave for falling off of said mountain, staying put, and not dying, until dozens of other people that knew better than to take a hike up there at this time of year, risked their lives to bring them down the mountain

GE (that coincidentally owns the Today Show along with the NBC network) is a wonderful company that is very concerned about the environment and without whom we would lose the power of flight and that computer generated baby elephants wouldn't be able to dance to the strains of "Singing in the rain". (Funny that they never once mentioned that they are the primary merchants of destruction in the MIC war machine, must have slipped their minds)

If I don't charge at least $9,000 on a ring, and another $20,000 on travel on my new Citi credit card, my new fiance and her family won't love me.

Norsemen (Viking is a verb) from the middle ages prefer, and work for Capital One. Which makes me wonder if I charged the required $29,000 on my fiance would that be OK, or does it have to be my Citi card?

Meridith Vieri(?) has really nice shoes, Matt Lauer has a nice ass, and Al Roker is still black.

All women now fall into one of two categories, those at risk of heart disease and those at high risk of heart disease. Further, if you don't immediately get a heart screening (an "elective" test that your insurance, if you have it, most likely will not cover) you cannot know into which category you fall.

Good consumers know, or must learn, which jeans will look best on them depending on how high their waist is and how long their body is.

Jim Carrey is still trying to convince us (himself?) that he is a "serious" actor and not just some guy with an inhumanly flexible face. He also had over $10 million before 1995, and that is because he wished it so.

Men are judged primarily by their butts and women are still only good for looking at.

Kids will get some exercise provided you buy the right toys for them to exercise with, especially toys made by Hasbro, Fisher-Price, and Leapfrog.

That if you buy several ad spots on the Today Show, they will devote a segment to showcase your product(s).

That's all Ms. Greyhound could stand and asked me to at least mute it, this had the effect of rousing me from my media-induced stupor and I quickly turned the TV off.

How on earth can we get through the miasma that is the product of continual exposure to this input and get the "average" amerikan to see what is happening to them and around them?