Reply #52: I felt rejected [View All]

[undergroundpanther]

and marginalized growing up female. My father for instance.. he was asshole,he was an abusive shit head .. BUT he was also an incredible wood craftsman.I have a table he made that has held together 16 years with NO GLUE. So I longed to learn to use the tools, to learn about wood and building things cabinetry and such.When I was little I would spend hours just watching my father work in the shop. Once in a blue moon he'd let me use the lathe, or run a board through the planer, or show me why red oak is different than white oak.. BUt No,for the most part because I was born without a dick,he never saw it fit to teach me his skills. And let me tell you that rejection hurt.If he had cared to teach me it could have made a relationship become, where there was in my later years only hate left.
When I grew boobs I'd hear him yell at me,Be a GIRL! Act like a Lady Dammit!When I'd be hanging out being myself. And I had no clue what that meant. Until I looked to my mother the'submitted one'. and than I admitted to myself what I knew all my life, right there I came out to myself, I was no girl.