Will there be mass suicides starting in five hours? [View All]

[jmowreader]

Yes, this is a rapture thread.

I recall at least one thread on DU--sorry, don't have time to read them all so don't feel slighted if I missed yours--about someone quitting his job so he could get right with God before he was raptured on August 22.

That's today.

I'm looking at my system clock. It's 6:58. According to the latest rapture timetable, Jesus has exactly five hours and two minutes to suck all the fundies into the heavens before the Tribulation comes to exact its justice on the rest of us.

There's one minor problem with all this: There won't be any Rapture. Tomorrow morning, I'll get up at 3am, like I always do. The streets won't be aflame. No little red guys with pitchforks will be running around jabbing people in the ass. And all the fundamentalists will still be here.

Since the fundies won't wake up tomorrow morning in Heaven--actually, if they all did get raptured tonight I think it would be more like Marine Corps boot camp reception, where you arrive at 10pm and stay up all night getting turned into something that at least looks a little like a Marine--will they want to not wake up tomorrow at all? And how many of them will really do themselves in?

I don't think there will be mass suicides, but there will be a few. There always are.