Dear Katherine Harris: I know how you can get the attention you crave! [View All]

[Ian_rd]

Dear Kathy,

I know you must be secretly depressed about the lack of respect you've received from your own party during your campaign for Senate. Seeing those balloons drop on an empty stage must tear your heart out. After you were the darling of the Right after your, um, handling of the 2000 election, the GOP chewed you up and spit you out like Hollywood does with an overgrown child actor (What're you talkin' about, Harris?) You must feel like you're standing dateless in the dark corner of a big GOP party, wearing a blue dress stained with stolen votes, looking through the crowd to your former buddies living it up in a sea of campaign cash, crony appointments, and young promiscuous Republican boys.

But I have a solution. It won't get you elected. But it'll get you on the cover of every magazine, newspaper, and on every talk show for the next month and more. What is it? Come clean on the 2000 election. Tell us everything. Tell us what we already know. How did you and Jeb do it? And what additional evidence can you provide?

Unwanted by the GOP? Well, we liberals will take you with open arms. All we ask for is your honesty. Just think of it! Not only will you achieve fame beyond your wildest dreams, but you actually get to do the right thing in the process! How often can a Republican say that? I'm talking history books, baby!

That's the bargain. Be honest and we'll make you famous. Stay the course and you're doomed to be an asterisk in the record of a stolen election that ushered in the most corrupt era in the history of the United States.

All my love,

Ian