My Husband is a Lying Sack of Crap [View All]

[RevCheesehead]

Hi dear EDV's and the men who love us.

Three weeks ago my husband told me he wants a divorce. It came out of the blue - I had no idea that he was thinking about this. He has refused to seek counseling, and said he just needed space to think things through. I asked if there was someone else, and he said no. He moved some of his things out, saying he needed a few weeks to be by himself.
Since that time, I have discovered that he has been seeing somebody else. He was seen, at work, in a full lip-lock with another woman, who had her hands all over him. The source who told me is impeccable. I confronted him at his workplace, slapped his face and called him a lying, cheating bastard. I demanded that he move all his shit out of our apartment. He got the rest of his stuff on Saturday, while 2 of my friends were here with me. He has returned the keys, and I am having the locks changed.

Obviously, I am devistated. The depth of the betrayal is beyond anything I have ever gone through. I can tolerate a lot of things, but not adultery. I will NEVER be able to trust him again... that is gone forever. And if you don't have trust, you don't have a marriage.

I am surrounded by good people who love me, both friends, family, and church family. Yesterday was very healing, as the pastor made my announcement for me during prayer time that "Ruth's marriage is coming to an end." The outpouring of love lifted me higher than my grief and pain, if only for a few moments; but I know that I will survive. I have suffered a lot of things in my life, but through it all, God has been, and will continue to be faithful to me. I will never be "alone." And I have a lot of love to share with the whole world. NOTHING can kill love (I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible somewhere); and yes, a part of me will always love Andy. He is in my heart, and I pray for him every day, all day long. But I cannot live with someone who is a compulsive gambler (he gambled away all our wedding money, and has stolen money from me) and a pathological liar. I do not recognize the man he is today: codependent, addictive, sociopathic, detached and narcissistic.

I have returned to seeing my counselor in Green Bay... it's easier to travel and pick up where we left off than to have to rehash all the crap from before. I told her "I've realized my worst fears: my parents are dead, my husband has left me, and I am all alone... and yet, I'm still here." She added, "And... Orange Cat came home."

Thanks for letting me spill my guts. I love you guys, and miss you terribly. My cable doesn't carry Current, so I am Keith-less. Berry, please let KO know that I'm back on the market, but won't be available for a year. If he's willing to wait for me, so am I. :)

Ruth