Reply #3: Oh, this is a MUST READ diary (hmmm ... Cameron's friend was unhelpful in Calif.) [View All]

[beachmom]

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/6/2/221720/2609/44/527797

I was the "crazy screaming woman" Hotlist
by LauraD
Mon Jun 02, 2008 at 08:07:47 PM PDT

No, not the one from Manhattan at the DNC RBC who was all WTF.

I was the "crazy screaming woman" from Berkeley about 4 years ago at the Lamorinda Democratic Clubs straw vote just before the CA primary.

backstory:
I was grieving because the first candidate I'd ever been really excited about wasn't going to be the Democratic candidate . I was angry because I felt that he had been treated badly by the Democratic party in general and I felt that John Kerry was behind some of that. I was angry because the press had conspired with the "powers that be" to push the person I felt was the best candidate, the person I felt would be the best president out of the race.

* LauraD's diary :: ::
*

Yes I was a "Deaniac," though I hated that term. However if it fit anyone, it fit me. Dean was the first candidate I donated to and I donated up to the legal limit (as a kindergarten teacher, that is a significant amount of money for me) I had spent most weekends and many weeknights tabling at farmer's markets, running meet-ups, blogging, doing whatever I could. I even bought myself a plane ticket and went to Iowa for the first two weeks of the "Perfect Storm" I was smitten with the Dean campaign. I had even been selected as a Dean delegate for my district.

To say I was "emotionally invested" in the campaign is to put it mildly.

So even though Dean had dropped out of the race right before the straw poll. I was going and I was going to vote for Dean!

I had already cried my eyes out with my fellow Dean supporters and I thought I was getting ready to move on, but I wanted one last night to vote for Dean and since a lot of the people I knew from Lamorinda were Dean people I thought he might win the straw poll and I thought that might help me move on.

So there were speakers for each of the candidates. One of our group spoke with great eloquence on why he was a Dean supporter and why it was still worth voting for Dean. Then the Edwards supporter spoke with great eloquence about how he was inspired by Edwards. The Kuchinich supporter was inspired and inspirational and gave a gracious nod of emotional support to the Dean people because she understood how we felt. That helped.

Then the Kerry guy stepped up to the mic. He started out by saying something to the effect of, "Wow! I'm surprised to see so many supporters for the other candidates. I was expecting everyone to be wearing Kerry buttons by this point." . . . . crickets chirped . . . He then went on to say that he was there because he had gone to prep school with John's brother so when they called him to come down from Alaska (seriously? every other campaign had someone local and the Kerry campaign had this putz fly down from frickin' Alaska?- because he went to prep school with his brother???) . . . yeah this was not helping with my feelings for the Kerry campaign. So he goes on and on and some of us are obviously not feeling the love so he calls us on it. He lectures us on how we *"fell in love"* but now we need to *"fall in line"* and I'm blinking back tears because it hasn't been a week yet and I'm still grieving but I know I have to fall in line but I don't wan to be in a line with this a-wipe from Alaska who wants me to support Kerry because he played water polo with his brother. Then he realizes he has made a mistake ( I think he saw the smoke coming out of my ears) and he says.. "I know it's hard. . . * I feel your pain * " . . . then he laughs.

With some time and distance I can now see that it was probably a nervous laugh, but it it was the laugh that broke this camel's back.

I lost it.

I stood up and I shouted. "You do NOT feel MY PAIN!!! You would need a soul to feel my pain!" And I stormed out of the room crying. I found my self in the kitchen. A few other Dean people were there. They were smart enough to leave the room before they started screaming like a crazy person. They were pretending to get the snack trays ready for the mingling and munching portion of the evening. I picked up the knife that had been used to cut veggies and stared at it. I would never use it but it was kind of fun to think about. I was that angry. I remember saying that John Kerry was lucky he was running against George Bush because if the Republican was someone like John McCain I would vote for him just to spite John Kerry.

So while I think the women threatening to vote for John McCain need to stop and think and get some perspective, and while I hope the super delegates stop this thing before Denver, and while I'm all for Obama at this point (and have been since Edwards dropped out) I think we need to cut these women some slack.

They are grieving. They have until November to work through this. Telling them to get over it and "fall in line" right not isn't productive and isn't compassionate. The super delegates need to "fall in line" this week, the voters can take some more time to grieve. It would help if there candidate is as gracious as mine was in dropping out, but if she isn't then we need to be a little more patient with her followers. Wait until after the convention to start working on them. Even then take it gently.

I moved on. The convention helped. Meeting some nice people who were working for Kerry because they were inspired by him helped. I wound up volunteering for ACT in Reno. For those of you who showed up the weekend before election day I was the woman dressed like the Statue of Liberty who greeted you at the door and sent you to your assigned station. I have to say that though I was ready to vote for Kerry. I was kind of glad that I wasn't allowed to wear a Kerry button. If that guy from Alaska hadn't pushed me too soon, I probably would have been more excited about jumping on the Kerry bandwagon. But he did and I wasn't.

So. . . don't be that guy.

I am not sure if we will be any more successful this time than last in healing. It is pretty obvious from her story that the guy was not terribly experienced with nuts and bolts grassroots outreach; otherwise, he would have been a hell of a lot more tactful. It seems he was not warned what he would be in for. That is one advantage for this year: Obama people will know there are really hurt feelings, and hopefully do a better job in outreach. Hate to say it, but we're going to have to make sure people really know what McCain is about -- that he is just as radical as Bush on foreign policy.