I think that men's rights have a place in the feminist movement [View All]

[Nikia]

I apologize for not being able to post to the appropriate threads in the feminist group, but even if I did donate, it might be better to post here anyway.
It is my belief as a lifelong female feminist who was somewhat androgynous as a child, a rape victim, and someone who has frequently encountered sexual harassment and gender discrimination that men and men's rights do have a place in the feminist movement. The rights that I am speaking about are the rights of men to behave in ways different from the traditional roles of masculinity. While women face discrimination for just being women and in ways that men never will, men who do not act masculine in ways also face discrimination.
The most obviously example of men who face discrimination for not following gender roles are homosexual men. Despite the religious rhetoric about homosexuality being a sin, I beleieve that the primary motivation of this rhetoric is not religion but gender roles. A male having sex with another male is taking the gender role of a woman. A man being partnered (or married) to a male is taking the gender role of a woman. Even on the play ground growing up, a big insult to boys is "gay", "fag", or other names. In most cases, these boys are not religious zealots or even basing it on a boy's loves or affections, they are simply suggesting that these boys are not fully male. As teens and adults, who actually do accept themselves as gay, homosexual men often face more same gender scorn than do lesbian women (I do acknowledge that lesbians do face some female homophobia though).
As I said, most boys who are called "gay" in elementary school aren't called "gay" because they've said that they have a crush on another boy. They are "gay", meaning less than male, by not liking sports, refusing to fight physically, preferring female or gender neutral toys, preferring females as playmates, or engaging in other less traditionally masculine activites.
As adults, men are often ridiculed if they go into traditionally female occupations like nursing, elementary school teaching, hair dressing, or other "female jobs". They still face pressure to like sports and other male activities. In certain situations, they may be encouraged to fight physically. They might be ridiculed for crying or showing emotions other than anger.
In marriage, they might be ridiculed for making less money than their wives. They might be ridiculed for doing "female chores". They might be especially ridiculed if after their wife has a baby, that they stay home with the child and take care of the house while their wife works.
Most of these issues must be remedied on an individual basis . Men need to stand up for other men, even if they themselves are not engaging in "feminine" behavior. Women need to stand up for the men in their lives too. The behavior of parents is probably the most crucial, being supportive of boys in being who they are and discouraging boys from picking on other boys for being who they are. Of course media images are also an issue, we need to fight both negative issues of men and women.
How does this relate to the feminist movement?
Men being held to strict gender roles, reinforces patriarchy as much as holding women to strict gender roles. Being who we are as opposed to following gender roles is in direct opposition to patriarchy. As long as patriarchy remains, masculine will be equated with "good" or "more powerful" or "more important" than feminine. By saying that a man who does clerical work is no less important than other men, we are also saying that a woman who does clerical work is not any less important by virtue of her occupation. This could be applied to all "masculine" and "feminine" occupations and perhaps equal pay would become more likely since no occupation would be thought of as female or male and no more deserving of more or less pay than anothers.
As long as it is only alright for females to take on certain masculine traits to become powerful and important, patriarchy remains strong. Patriarchy is alright with a few women becoming honorary males. In many societies throughout history, patriarchy has been alright with this as long as there are few enough "masculine" women and that it is understood that feminine is inferior.
We must support the right of men to be feminine if the power of patriarchy is lessened. That is why feminists should support men's rights too in this aspect.