Reply #1: Wow, I'm sorry for you... [View All]

[a la izquierda]

I am in contact with my dad, but it was not always so. My parents divorced when I was 10, because of my father's infidelity. My mother has never come out of the closet necessarily, but everyone knows she's a lesbian and nobody particularly cares. But because of my parents' relationship, my mother poisoned my mind against my father. I stopped visiting him twice a month when I was 13- I would see my dad on holidays, but that was pretty much it. I think it broke my dad's heart and I know it deeply hurt my grandmother and aunt and uncle.
I reestablished contact with my pops when he was very ill-nobody knew exactly what was wrong with him. He lost a ton of weight, his eyes wouldn't focus on anything, and he was generally just a sick, dying man. I knew that despite my mother's insistence, despite what she told me he did, despite all that, I was an 18 year old kid who was scared to death that she might spend the rest of her life without her dad even remotely in it. I started talking to my dad again, and you know what, he survived. I'm very happy with my decision. Sure, my mother guilt trips me every time I go see him, or say I talked to him, but they both live on the other side of the country. My family is a trainwreck, but I'm content with what I did. Do I disagree with my pops' treatment of my mother when they were married? I sure as hell do, and he knows it. And my mother brainwashed an innocent kid, which in many ways has deeply affected my treatment of men throughout my life (fortunately, I met my husband, so this is sort of a non-issue).

I am sorry for you-I know people like you and it does suck. But you strike me as having a good head on your shoulders. You will be a better person in the end because you tried to bridge a gap with someone who obviously doesn't deserve a relationship with you.