A Prop 8 Rant [View All]

[Doctor Pedantic]

I am scared out of my mind.

The other night, I was having dinner with a number of colleagues from work. One of them is very conservative and religious, but we have been friends for eight years. Someone else brought up the issue of Prop 8, and I expressed my dismay at how the Yes on 8 campaign's lies appeared to be working, and that it looked like it would actually pass. My colleague -- my friend -- then volunteered, to my face, that she was voting for Prop 8. She is voting against me, and telling me that my family is worth less than hers. I can't maintain a relationship with her now, except a professional one.

Last night, I had a message on my home answering machine encouraging me and my "household" (I guess including my husband?) to vote for Prop 8.

This morning, I saw on californiansagainsthate.com that the parents of one of my 12-year-old son's friends from school have donate $25,000 (!) to Yes on 8.

On the way to work, I saw my first Yes on 8 yard sign, and a car with two Yes on 8 bumper stickers.

I am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I was married to a woman for 12 years. I bought into the "ex-gay" belief that homosexuality is something that can be overcome, and I worked my hardest to do so and to be a good Christian. The marriage failed for many reasons, and now I am happily married to a wonderful man.

We live in a bedroom community in Southern California. My husband is helping me raise my three kids from my earlier, disastrous marriage. They call him "Daddy." He is now a stay at home parent who volunteers at the kids' schools and is active in PTA. We are popular with our neighbors, including the elderly couple across the street who call us "The Boys" (as does the lesbian couple who live behind us!). We have family dinner every night, with a strict no-TV-during-meals rule. We say grace before meals and go to church every Sunday. We host sleepovers for the kids, never miss a soccer game, and are active in the community. One of our friends from the neighborhood says that we actually are one of the most "traditional" families she knows. And yet even people who know us, even people we thought were friends, are actively trying to take away our rights, to dehumanize us, to tell our children they are not part of a "real" family.

I am sorry about making this so personal, and didn't mean for this post to turn into a pity party. I just feel so beaten down right now. We've donated money, we've argued, we are going to phone bank and knock doors at every possible opportunity between now and November 4. It's just that no political issue in my 43 years has ever hit so close to home. This time, it's personal. And it just breaks my heart to know how far we still have to go to overcome prejudice and hate, even in "liberal" Southern California, even among our families, neighbors, and "friends."