*******I WILL NOW PRETEND TO HAVE JUST MADE UP MY MIND!!!!***** [View All]

[alcibiades_mystery]

For a long time, I struggled with the candidates. Who to choose, who to choose? What a dilemma. Then, I settled on somebody. This was a few weeks ago, maybe even a few months. In order to perfectly time my support, however, I have decided to announce only today, and I will furthermore pretend that I just came to this decision based on the bad actions of other DU posters, because that's the kind of passive aggressive douchebaggery I traffic in.

Supporters of Candidate X have been atrocious, and their behavior has pushed me to my fake decision, which I now announce LOUDLY, with lots of stars and stuff*********, just to make good and sure that the offending supporters know they caused it, and feel bad about themselves!!!! How ya feeling now, offending supporters? It's all your friggin' fault, you big nasty babies!!!!***********

Supporters of Candidate X, furthermore, have offended my age group and gender and race and hair color and toothpaste brand to a point that defies common decency. Here are some more stars: *********. And some additional typographical symbols that indicate disdain////////. They are lower than snailshit, and it's all their fault that everybody on my block in Chicago is voting against their candidate, HARRRUMPH! Furthermore, I will now proceed to place smiley symbols and general chest-puffery indicating that my age group will reign supreme in the end, because that's how I roll, kiddos, and you're about to get a taste of it, ya heard?

This is how we do in my generation: :spank:

BooYAH! ************************* More stars!!!!

Now I will pretend to end this fake sudden decision announcement with some more self-righteous fakery, that's all about mer and my people overcoming great odds and the very nasty nasty nasty threads of Candidate X's supporters, who don't know what they're in for now that I'M in the game supporting CANDIDATE Y. Yizzzzzzzooooooooooo!