Reply #39: I did this several times. [View All]

[NNadir]

Basically because I was very down on myself, and didn't think that if I approached someone they would actually go out with me.

One was the friend of a friend. The friend through who we knew one another told me years later, "I can't believe that you and Barbara didn't sleep together. She thought you were great."

Another woman with whom this happened came on to me after she was married. (I don't do infidelity.)

Finally, I met the woman I ultimately married. I was going through the "secret admirer" trip with her too, but this time got some therapy. With help I was finally able to out myself and said, "I love you." She didn't fall into my arms right away, but persistance and honesty paid off. It's been almost twenty years of bliss.