Reply #115: Bush Goes to Hell: [View All]

[Drum]

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

I don't know what to do, said the devil. "You are on my list but I dont have a vacant room for you. There are no vacancies, but you definitely have to stay. This is what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'm going to let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who you want to replace." George thought that sounded pretty darn good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the door to the first room. There was Richard Nixon and a large swimming pool. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed, over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," George said, I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."

So the devil led him to the next room and opened the door. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. Tony was just swinging that sledgehammer, smashing rocks, again and again and again. "No! said George. I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I did was break rocks all day!" he explained.

So the devil opened the door to the third room And there was Bill Clinton, lying naked on the floor on his back, his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked wide apart, spread-eagle. And there was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she did best, over and over and over.George gazed in disbelief, and finally said with a smirk, "Yeah, I can handle this!"

The devil smiled and called out, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"