Reply #17: It's difficult. My brother was sober for a while [View All]

[Blue Diadem]

long enough for me to convince him to reconcile with his daughter and for him to meet his granddaughter for the first time(she was 5). He had verbally abused his daughter so much that she had severed ties before she had the baby.

Then about a year after they reconciled, he began to drink again and got worse with saying horrible things to me and calling at 3:00am. I would hang up but it affected me. So one day he called and was sober and I told him how awful he was when he's drunk and how it made me feel and how it must make his daughter feel when he speaks to her that way. I told him if he wants to talk it will be on my terms..because I can't trust him otherwise. I've thought about calling him..because I do love him but if he should be drunk..well..right now I'm just not ready for that so I don't call.

I guess what I'm saying is that it has to be up to you. You'll know when you're ready to speak to him. I've experienced this for years.. sometimes just looking at caller ID and not answering when it's him. Other times when I know I'm emotionally stronger I will answer..but it's my choice and not his.