Reply #190: Friend, Please Never Feel Disgrace At The Expense Of Others Wrongs [View All]

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

I can sense you are quite a decent person even from a short post. I am sorry this has been done to you but since it cannot be easily undone the best path is to first find the strength and conviction within yourself to look into your own eyes in the mirror and tell yourself that you know who you are, and no one can ever take that from you. Self-confidence, esteem and self-awareness are the foremost values you first need to have solidified before you tackle the rest. After that, you must trust that others who truly know you openly will only care about what they know and have seen from you, and will more than likely have sympathy for your situation rather than contempt towards you. You must trust in that. Those that turn and run, judge, or do not provide you with trust in your words are not too worthy of company to begin with. I acknowledge though that the risk of losing some of them may be hurtful, but time will heal that disappointment, as will the base of strength and conviction you built in yourself to always remind you that you are decent and worthy of respect. Never forget that.

As far as career goes, I think you are fearing it far more than necessary. There is no general reason why it would come up in initial employment procedures, and after being hired is doubtful you'd be dismissed on rumor alone upon which no charges were brought. I can understand your concern, but I would recommend applying where you can and working as hard as you can when there to make yourself valuable. I wouldn't sweat the rumors penetrating your employment, and if they day came when it did you can come back here for advice on crossing that bridge then.

Never let fear own you. Never let others intimidate you. Never lose pride in who and what you are for any reason. You will get through this. Remember, life is not possession nor count of friends and aquaintences. Life is merely breathing in and breathing out, and the rest is all perception. Perceive yourself as an incredible human being at all times and at all costs. One doesn't need hundreds of friends in life to attain happiness, they only need a handful. I would bet my bottom dollar that you already have that handful, that will be with you no matter what.

Fear not friend, things will work out. But do not torture your own existence by succumbing to the viciousness of others. Hold your head high, look into your own eyes and declare yourself honorable and incredible, and refuse to let anything stop you down your path.

And laugh. When anyone confronts you with the rumor as if it is real, simply laugh. You can follow it with a "oh that tired old rumor LOL I don't believe that's still around LOL" But just laugh. It is a more powerful weapon against deceit than you can ever imagine.

Be strong dear DU'er, always know that as long as the truth resides inside of you, you are all powerful.