Forrest's absence excuse note... [View All]

[ForrestGump]

Where've I been? Well, there's a story.

I knew I was in for an interesting time when the yellow 'phone rang. You know, the yellow phone. Climbing across the several lithe bodies that dozed post-rapturously beneath my sheets, I languidly stretched my rippling abdominal muscles as I picked up the receiver. After a small adjustment as an effort to minimize that annoying rippling, I breathily bad-breathily said "hello." Just "hello." Just like that. How could I know what that simple greeting would lead to? Stopping only to deflate my vinyl bedmates, pull the sheets up on my bed (that bed being an exact replica of the hood of NSMA's car, complete with convenient, velvet-lined tiedown points and vibrating ComfoVibe massage system), and put fudge brownie-scented incense burning beneath my autographed 16x20 of jchild and my gilded supernova statuette, I walked out into the brilliant California sunshine.

Et cetera...

But enough about me. How y'all doin'? Are we winning yet?

(ate so much pasta last night that my ripples are all filled out, darn it...)

...ripples, I said...