My dog, Knuckles was killed today and I'm a complete mess. [View All]

[gatorboy]

Apologies in advance for bad syntax or mis-spellings (and the double post). I don't have the heart to re-read this at the moment.

I've never felt so empty in my life. I'm not even sure if that sounds silly or not. I've lost so many other people in my life, family friends....But this...This as completely destroyed my life at the moment. The emptiness is almost too much to bear and I still can't believe this chunk of my life is gone. He's gone. Just....Gone.

I had Knuckles for well over 6 years. He's a mix breed of terrier and whippet. The Whippet was good for running, the terrier part was good for chewing 3 foot hole in our walls. He chew carpets, walls, occasionally a pair of underwear or two (okay dozens), but still, we loved him. He was always there to let you know when strangers were about and he slept under the covers at my feet every night. My wife had photos of him laying over the back of our chair staring at the door, waiting for me to come home. He apparently would do this for hours.



And then, when I had arrived, he would hug me for several minutes. And when I say hug me, I mean like a human would hug another:




I found him on the side of the road dead after looking for him throughout the entire night. Somehow he had sneaked passed us and was off to do whatever he deemed necessary. By the time I realized he was out(After forty five minutes or so) and started searching for him from midnight until 5. I was desperate to find him before daybreak because I knew he wasn't the keenest of dogs when it came to traffic. He was a house dog so he never knew of the dangers. By 5:30, on my way back, I found him. Dead. He was crumpled on the side of the road and for a moment I refused to believe it. And then I started screaming. I pull over probably 50 yards from where I saw him and ran back to him screaming "GOD, NOT MY BABY, NOT MY SWEET BABY" I couldn't believe it. I lost it completely. this little boy of mine, who I had raised from a pup and who NEVER left my side at home for 6 years was gone.

I sat there on the side of the road with him still screaming and crying as folks passed by. It was too much to bear to see my baby, whom most would say had the most soulful eyes of any dog they had ever seen, so bloodied and lifeless. I hope no one ever has to see their love one in the shape I saw my baby in. He deserved so much better. Half of me wished I had never found him because this image of my sweet baby would now stay with me for the rest of my life. But I knew he deserved better and I was determined to give him proper rest. I pulled him to the side of the road into the grass and rushed home to wrap him in anything I could find. When I came back to him, I covered him up and took him to my fathers who I woke up sobbing about what had happened. He helped me dig a hole for him in my old back yard (A place Knuckles always enjoyed marking) and then left me alone to pay my respects. I buried my sweet boy then went home to break down for a few hours.

Later on I collected many of his things: His water and food bowls, his Frisbee and several of his crew toys. One in particular was cloth and he loved to suckle on in like a pacifier. I took them back over to my dad and buried them with him, hoping in the Afterlife he could still enjoy them. His remaining dog food bag and water bowel, I left by is grave...

His grave...

It's still hard typing that.

And now it is over. I sit in a home which his full of family but still very empty. No more do I have a friend to GIVE my last bite of pizza crust to. No more do I have my friend who kept my feet warm at night when it was cold. Who loved Frisbee like no body's business. No one to play tug of war with, hold on to on the bed after a tough day at work. And no more do I have that sweet trusted boy who was always, ALWAYS there for me. I know it's early but it's still too incomprehensible at the moment to imagine getting over this. he was my life. Completely. And I miss him.

I just wanted you folks to know what and incredible, wonderful, happy dog he was. M


My Knuckles.