Mother rant [View All]

[GoddessOfGuinness]

Nothing I did ever passed my mother's inspection. And it seemingly still doesn't. Whatever decision I've made, she has to present every "what if..." she can conceive of before she finally lets go and accepts that I've made up my mind for better or worse. I'm 47...not exactly a kid.

Today, for example, I told her that I had to put another large dental bill on the credit card that we share, because the hygienist found that I've got periodontitis. We've had 2 other large bills in the last few months which she paid in full, in order to save us the finance charge. I told her at the time that it was very kind of her to do that, but we were prepared to pay about $400 per month and accept whatever finance charge they slapped on us. She insisted, however, that she'd rather we didn't have the burden; and said that as long as we paid her the $400 a month, it would be fine.

When I mentioned the most recent charge that was put on there, she seemed a little annoyed, and said that she was going to have to have a payment from us because her resources were low. I reiterated that it wasn't necessary for her to pay off the balance, and that we didn't expect her to; but once again, she insisted that this was best. I try to avoid charging things on this card, because: 1) I really hate credit cards and 2) I don't like the idea of my mother nosing into my money matters.

THEN she asked me, "When's the last time you had a physical?" "About a year and a half ago," I replied. "Well I think you'd better get yourself into the doctor," she said. I told her I really don't have the time or the finances to do that right now....and I don't...the dentist bills have stretched us to our limit and we're in the midst of paying off hefty taxes. She started pushing, "Don't be like your father..." which really irritated me. He died at age 59 of a heart attack, after smoking for over 40 years, not seeing the doctor, and living a sedentary lifestyle.

I restated that now was NOT a good time for me to have a check-up, and that it would just have to wait. And she responded with her trademark, "oooOOOOkay..." which really means "It's not ok, but I acknowledge that you're not going to take my sage advice even though I think you're stupid not to; and you can expect to hear more from me on this matter."

In another episode, on Sunday we were walking around Harpers Ferry, and she asked my 7 year old to read one of the historical markers, which he did perfectly, though not necessarily comprehending what he was reading. Anyway, she decided it was a good day to give him a history lecture, and started thrusting all sorts of facts at him, which he found pretty boring. I'm a firm believer in letting my kid find what interests him, then guiding him along a path that will help him discover as much as he's ready to know.

Mom, on the other hand, believes that kids should be presented with tons of info which they should absorb immediately, or there's something wrong with them. She's quite certain that the whole problem with the world today is that they didn't have the same sort of education she had back in the day. Latin, math drills, dunce caps, spankings...these are all part of what made her the brilliant, disciplined person she is and the world under age 50 isn't.

The maddening thing about these interactions with her, is that I'd swear I could hear her thoughts as she's lecturing, questioning, and commenting; and there's much more to her words than meets the ears. I know her hyper-critical nature well enough to know that when she's commenting on my financial matters, she's thinking that we aren't handling things well enough. And when she tries to push me into going to the doctor for a physical, she's thinking about my weight and diagnosing me with diabetes. And when she lectures my kid, it's because she doesn't approve of my homeschooling him, and doesn't feel I'm qualified to teach him.

I don't doubt that she loves me, or that all her worries aren't a byproduct of motherly concern; but Jeeeeezus, sometimes I feel like someone needs to tell her that we're all grown up now, and it's time to sever the umbilical cord.

I'm sure this seems too insignificant to rant about; and my apologies if you've slogged through this, and are now scratching your head wondering what I'm griping about. Maybe it's just my midlife crisis, and I need something to bitch about. I don't know... :beer: