Reply #35: Get ordained online. Start a cable access "tent revival" [View All]

[Solly Mack]

Call yourself the Church of the Divine Redemption - and your TV show, Old Time Gospel for that Old Time Religion. Promote prayer cards for donations - in return send them cheesy, computer printed bookmarks for their Bible (be sure to print their names on it and how you prayed for them)

Print a pamphlet of a list of movies for Christians. Offer to send that to the first 100 callers who pledge a 25 dollar or more donation. Explain why they need the pamphlet. (Cause the devil is tempting people everyday and he's wiley!)

Be sure to invite local preachers on to talk about how bad for you everything in the world is...mention the evils of public education and Bill Clinton a lot...

Be sure to get attacks in on gays and lesbians

Rant how the ACLU is harming America

Be sure to wave the flag and say the pledge at the beginning of each segment.

This seems like more work than it actually is....but

There's a sucker born every minute and soon you'll be rolling in the holy dough.

Try not to get too successful too fast or Falwell and the likes will get some dirt on you and spread it in order to kill the competition.