Late Breaking News from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
ATLANTA: The Washington Moon Times has just learned that what many have feared has now been confirmed: the simple act of even speaking about gay matrimony, even if one is speaking in opposition to homosexual unions, can and does cause heterosexual marriages to fail, and fail rapidly. Worse, it can also cause heterosexual men to become active homosexuals themselves.
Dr. I.C. Darkly speaking on behalf of the CDC in Atlanta reported this medical discovery and related them to recent public events.
1.) Most recently, right-wing radio broadcaster, Rush Limbaugh who has spent hundreds of hours calling on the American people daily to support a ban on gay unions, announced that he and his third wife had filed for divorce. Dr. Darkly says the linkage between discussing queer marriages and the dissolution of the Limbaugh family is undeniable.
2.) Paul Crouch, multi-millionaire evangelist and head of the Trinity Broadcasting Network, has dedicated hours of his televised religious programming in opposition to gay and lesbian marriages. This Sunday, the Los Angeles Times reported that Reverend Crouch, has been secretly paying off a young man in order to keep him from revealing their recent torrid homosexual affair. Again, Dr. Darkly stated, "If you talk about gay marriages, you do so at your own risk for you will lose your own."
3.) Newt Gingrich, one of the early champions against gay marriages in the mid-1990's, has been reduced to a continuing string of failing hetero marriages.
4.) Republican U.S. Congressman Edward L. Schrock from Virginia who has spoken out repeatedly within the House of Representatives in opposition to homosexual marriages and voting against them actually has now become a homosexual himself and was forced to end his political career.
5.) And now, Congressman David Drier from California who has voted for every anti-gay law in Congress including his championing of laws preventing same-sex marriage has apparently also come down with Acquired Homosexual Syndrome simply by speaking about the subject. Drier, it is reported, is about to be outed as a practicing homosexual who is enjoys passive anal sex with Caucasian young men.
Dr. Darkly says that these examples are only the tip of the iceberg and warned all heterosexual white men to immediately stop even discussing the subject of gay marriages to avoid the fate of these other men.
Reference Links:
http://www.bluelemur.com/index.php?p=293http://www.capitolhillblue.com/artman/publish/article_5153.shtmlhttp://www.nytimes.com/aponline/national/AP-Televangelist-Allegations.html