All the ways you let me down... [View all]
Universal Health Care: not possible in this country, ever.
Debt & Tuition Free College: Oh free stuff! Get a job slackers.
Mass Incarceration: don't break the law and you won't go to prison.
Private Prisons: are more efficient and save us money.
Capital Punishment: some crimes deserve an eye for an eye.
Fracking: a green replacement for coal.
Nuclear Energy: clean energy.
Renewable Energy: what, from unicorn farts?
Marijuana: put down the pipe and get a job, Cheech.
Campaign Finance: money has no effect on policy, none.
Predatory Loan Sharks: provide a valuable public service in low income communities.
Health Insurance: a necessary evil.
For-Profit Healthcare: provides the best healthcare in the world.
Mass Surveillance: I've got nothing to hide.
Corporate Media: fair and balanced.
Taxing the Rich: hurts job creators.
Big Banks: make the world go 'round.
Minimum Wage: raises prices and destroys jobs.
Socialism: some people are lazy and want a free ride.
Welfare: I worked hard to earn what I've got.
Trade Deals: bringing jobs to impoverished people.
Pharmaceuticals: all that money goes to R&D and saves lives.
Perpetual War: just keep it someplace where I don't have to see it.
Drone Strikes: not terrorism.
Iraq War Votes: old news, let it go already.
Israel: noble defenders of all that is good.
Palestine: a radical terrorist infestation.
Saudi Arabia: the good guys in the middle east.
DOMA: a sensible position at the time.
Corruption: put on your tinfoil hat.
Exit Polls: junk science.
Issue-Driven Campaigning: going negative.
Negative Campaigning: the truth hurts.
Lobbyists: provide valuable insight from industry experts.
Superdelegates: the Republicans wish they had them too this year.
Protesters: unemployed trouble makers
Campaign Rallies: too bad they don't vote.
Astroturfing: I wish I was getting paid for this post! /s
Democracy: DROP OUT NOW!
Voter Suppression: OMG CONSPIRACY!
Election Fraud: SORE LOSER!
Bernie Sanders: EGOMANIAC!
Sanders Supporters: undercover racists and misogynists.
Liberals: we don't need you.
Independents: get your own party or shut up.
Millennials: grow up and move out of your parents basement.
Change: only happens incrementally, we're progressives not radicals.
Political Revolution: 
I'm not so sure I want to be a progressive anymore. Or at least, I am sure that I was never this kind of progressive.
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