Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

orleans

(33,987 posts)
6. i'm glad you kept her recipes and have such nice memories of her cooking
Sun Mar 2, 2014, 08:09 PM
Mar 2014

the last number of years i was with my mom i did all of the cooking. so it's not so much her cooking i miss as it is her company, her laugh, her conversations with me, her silly phraseology (like the word "spaghett&quot ; just the general physicality of her being here.
i miss *her*
the essence of *her*
and sometimes that longing sneaks up on me when i least expect it
sometimes i feel it is there, repressed, and lingering in the background

but it always seems to find a way to surface (sooner if not later)

lately it hits me when i'm in the grocery store and pass near the card & floral section. there are all these st. patrick's day cards, balloons, shamrocks -- and (not that st. paddy's day was so all important to us because it wasn't) -- but it reminds me of so much of the fun we would have anticipating, decorating, party planning, surprising, getting to celebrate any holiday--just for the fun of it. (from when i was little, and all through my life and with my daughter--my mom was such an integral part of the joy in my life.) (don't get me wrong--we had our ups and downs and arguments and fights. but we were always genuine with each other. but overall, we were both happy as hell to have each other in our lives.)

and seeing this celebratory stuff in the store just gets to me, you know? i start tearing up. i have to move quickly past it, around it, through it. because i miss that joy--that any little reason to celebrate and have fun, that happiness. it's gone.

it's just been really hard finding that sense of joy again. so far i've been very unsuccessful. and i miss it so badly.

Oh, my dear orleans... CaliforniaPeggy Feb 2014 #1
thanks peggy orleans Feb 2014 #3
Thank you fadedrose Feb 2014 #2
you're welcome. orleans Feb 2014 #4
All I have left are the recipes.... Uben Feb 2014 #5
i'm glad you kept her recipes and have such nice memories of her cooking orleans Mar 2014 #6
Yeah, I know the feeling.... Uben Mar 2014 #7
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»sometimes it's the simple...»Reply #6