my mom passed a couple years ago and we hardly had time to prepare. it came on suddenly which had her in the hospital for a week--the doctors said she "might" qualify for hospice (6 months or less) but they implied she might live longer and wouldn't qualify. she passed the following week. it was such a desperate time--six months sounded wonderful--it sounded like a lifetime! but it never happened.
losing someone we love is the hardest thing in the world. our grief seems like it is the price we pay for love. and yet it's worth it and we would do it all over again if we could only get the chance.
i agree with the other poster who said she thinks your dad will always be near to you. both my daughter and i saw, on many occassions, "signs" from my mom--one of the kitchen lights flashing on and off--sometimes it would turn itself on and later it would turn itself off; we both would smell my mother's perfume at the same time, and there were a lot of little things like that.
it took me a little over five months before i was able to actually sit down and read--to be able to focus and concentrate awhile--i finally decided to check out some books from the library on spirits and the afterlife. the first book i started reading was "we don't die: george anderson's conversations with the other side." as i sat on the couch, reading it, i heard several knocks on the wall behind the couch and the light flashed off and on with each knock. at first i thought a fuse blew but the light was still on. then i realized the knocking i heard was the signal my mom and i used so we would know who was there--it was the "shave and a haircut--two bits" knock. later my daughter pointed out to me that the wall behind the couch seperates the living room from my mother's bedroom.
signs. i had felt so empty, and lost, and abandoned, and bereft--but she was closer to me than i thought.
i'm sure your dad, whether he gives you signs or not--and he will do it or not in order to act in your best interest--will stay close to you and help see you through this time as best he can. and when the grief comes in waves just sit down and let it wash over you and hang on tight.
that's what i would do--and sometimes still do when the grief wells up.
i'm so sorry for your loss. take care.
= new reply since forum marked as read
