Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search
 

iverglas

(38,549 posts)
14. and how to get women to stop playing their role?
Wed Jan 11, 2012, 03:12 PM
Jan 2012

It's the dating game. If he doesn't pick me up, hold my doors, pull out my chair, pay for my dinner ... he doesn't respect/value me enough for me to consider him as a candidate for giving sex to.

And women whine about men not doing those things, and men whine about being treated like bank machines. ATMs, you call them down there.

It looks like a double lose for the men, if there's no sex reward at the end, until we realize that all those things are cogs in the wheel of male control. And besides, why shouldn't they have to court a lot of frogettes? Dating isn't a bed of roses for women either.

I've mentioned before that I've never done it, ever. "Dating" is an alien culture to me. I never went out with a man I wasn't at least seriously considering going to bed with, and I never regarded the financial arrangements for the event as having anything to do with that. I paid and pay my way. What adult would not? I don't know whether I was born that way or figured it out for myself, but it was just there when the situation arose and I'm happy with it.

Hell, I'll put my alienation from hetero mating rituals at least as high as any lesbian's! (Are we allowed a little joke?)

I just can't ever figure out why something so simple and obvious to me is such a source of confusion and angst and strife for so many others. I am absolutely floored when I hear such talk. I want to shake both parties smart. Open your damned eyes. You're two human beings. Talk to each other, for the love of pete.

it is interesting how all this is manifesting and the number of women allowing themselves to be seabeyond Jan 2012 #1
I agree JustAnotherGen Jan 2012 #2
it is just another saying we have given to men to chuckle at, to feel superior, to be dominant seabeyond Jan 2012 #5
Oooh I agree JustAnotherGen Jan 2012 #6
VS use to be a company about empowering women their sexuality. i use to buy from them. it was fun. seabeyond Jan 2012 #7
We see relationships based on altruism. redqueen Jan 2012 #12
You are correct, as usual, Seabie....I believe that language is powerful whathehell Jan 2012 #22
IMHO the heart of the matter is the power dynamic. Gormy Cuss Jan 2012 #3
That's what I was going to say. redqueen Jan 2012 #4
"A tool. A thing." Gormy Cuss Jan 2012 #8
So true JustAnotherGen Jan 2012 #9
Exactly. redqueen Jan 2012 #10
I didn't know that Norway and Denmark had taken that step...It's wonderful!..n/t whathehell Jan 2012 #23
and how to get women to stop playing their role? iverglas Jan 2012 #14
Here's where I bring a different perspective JustAnotherGen Jan 2012 #17
me too iverglas Jan 2012 #11
Cooperating vs. using (the way I see it) redqueen Jan 2012 #13
heh heh iverglas Jan 2012 #15
you didn't give us a link :( iverglas Jan 2012 #16
That's a good start JustAnotherGen Jan 2012 #18
but I don't want to have to pick my way carefully iverglas Jan 2012 #21
When I was in corporate, I worked with a really wonderful family man. CrispyQ Jan 2012 #19
Well, I am the breadwinner ismnotwasm Jan 2012 #20
Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»Feminists»Love Languages, Feminists...»Reply #14