We had to let our cat go tonight...

[tblue37]

33. My cats live to 18 or 19, too, and as the time comes, they stop eating as well.

It is so hard to let them go--to know when to let them go. If they still seem to be enjoying life, you don't want to cut it short, but they don't necessarily let us know if they are in pain, either. It does seem, though, that when they get old and they just stop eating altogether, that is one of the signs that they are ready.

Still, it is so hard to let go of someone you love so much. I always have cats--I have 4 right now, the youngest 3 1/2 and the oldest 11 3/4--so I certainly understand how sad you must be right now. I am sorry for your loss.

Do you have other cats? I have always been amazed at the way a new cat or kitten always enters my life (always without my looking for a replacement!) soon after one has left me. Sometimes it is a feral stray who begins to follow me around; once a friend's young cat got out just before she had saved up enough money to get her neutered, and I ended up adopting one of her kittens; once one of my older cats brought home a 6-month-old feral kitten we'd seen around the neighborhood with his mother, who had been hit by a car just before Luke adopted her kitten and brought him home; once I adopted a 2-year-old cat from my neighbors, who decided they didn't like her that much any more, and then a couple of years later I also adopted their other cat, a sweet 10-year-old named Gabby, because they were moving and planned to dump her at the shelter (where a cat that old would not have much chance of being adopted).

Only once did I actively seek to replace a cat who had died. When Gabby died at age 19, Lila, the other cat I had adopted from the same family, was so lonely that I couldn't bear to leave the house since she would be all alone when I did--at the time I'd had just the two cats until Gabby died. I adopted an 8 1/2-month old kitten from a rescue society to keep Lila company. That was 11 years ago, and that little girl kitty is the oldest of the 4 cats I have now.

The reason I don't usually go looking for a new cat is simply that except for that one time, a new cat or kitten always ends up finding me after I have lost one. I like to imagine that the cat I have just lost has sent another cat to help soothe my grief over his or her passing. One of my sisters likes to imagine the same thing, because every time she loses a cat, another one appears, almost like magic, without her having to go looking for one.

I hope your Star sends you another kitty to love soon.