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In reply to the discussion: My husband died last night. [View all]

orleans

(33,987 posts)
76. my heart goes out to you
Wed Aug 27, 2014, 01:19 AM
Aug 2014

thank you for sharing all this. tom sounds like a great guy with a great sense of humor (as i read his quip about wanting you to tell the girlfriend, bookie & drug dealer he can't pay up).

how terrible that so many doctors managed to misdiagnose an aggressive form of cancer, sending him home from the er on two occasions, claiming he had acid reflux. i'm sorry he had to go through that confusion when he seemed so certain that something was very wrong.

i, too, believe he was seeing a cat--and i'm wondering what the connection was...? it sounds like the cat was waiting to go with him.

in case you're not aware of the bereavement forum on du here is a link:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1234
someone who was a grief & loss counselor recently posted a thread you may find helpful--"surviving the death of a life partner"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1234894
and "suggestions for coping with grief"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1234892

i'm so glad you had some time to talk things through with him. i know those conversations can be very precious. i wish tom spectacular journeys, and much peace and comfort for you and your daughter. i suspect he'll be back to check in on you and watch over you every now and then.

take good care. you're not alone.



My husband died last night. [View all] gwheezie Aug 2014 OP
Very sorry for your loss 47of74 Aug 2014 #1
... Aristus Aug 2014 #2
Sorry for your loss... Callmecrazy Aug 2014 #3
I am so sorry to read about your beloved husband... CaliforniaPeggy Aug 2014 #4
I'm so sorry sharp_stick Aug 2014 #5
I am very sorry for your loss. bigwillq Aug 2014 #6
Condolences to you, your family and your friends. TexasTowelie Aug 2014 #7
Tom sounds like an amazing man. blogslut Aug 2014 #8
He sounds like a really wonderful man. redwitch Aug 2014 #9
So sorry for your loss. The Velveteen Ocelot Aug 2014 #10
I am so sorry. . . Paula Sims Aug 2014 #11
A beautiful post.. sendero Aug 2014 #12
I'm so sorry for your loss. LisaLynne Aug 2014 #13
I'm so sorry, gwheezie.. Cha Aug 2014 #14
I am so sorry for your great loss irisblue Aug 2014 #15
Wow...you both sound like you've dealt with it in nirvana555 Aug 2014 #18
so sorry for your loss :/ steve2470 Aug 2014 #16
I am so very sorry for your loss. mnhtnbb Aug 2014 #17
((((Gwheezie)))) I am so so sorry for your loss. riderinthestorm Aug 2014 #19
My condolences to you. IrishEyes Aug 2014 #20
we're here for you gwheezie Skittles Aug 2014 #21
My condolences. . . jcboon Aug 2014 #22
I am so sorry, gwheezie. femmocrat Aug 2014 #23
So sorry for your loss. IdaBriggs Aug 2014 #24
"Why was I worried about that shit" rug Aug 2014 #25
So do I. IrishAyes Aug 2014 #63
peace to you, gwheezie fizzgig Aug 2014 #26
May your husband rest in peace. Hugs. 840high Aug 2014 #27
I'm very sorry for your loss NewJeffCT Aug 2014 #28
So, so sorry. I hope he went peacefully without much pain. n/t RebelOne Aug 2014 #29
Very sorry. I know it doesn't help, but sounds like quite a friend/husband. Take care. Hoyt Aug 2014 #30
Oh, my, gwsheezie… MrMickeysMom Aug 2014 #31
A beautiful post. So sorry for your loss. Owl Aug 2014 #32
Oh, gwheezie. sheshe2 Aug 2014 #33
Pretty speechless..... glinda Aug 2014 #34
Sorry for your loss, but thank you so much for sharing with us. (nfm) SunDrop23 Aug 2014 #35
() Jack Rabbit Aug 2014 #36
Tom sounds like a wonderful husband. May he rest in peace. In_The_Wind Aug 2014 #37
So sorry for your loss, gwheezie bvf Aug 2014 #38
So sorry for your loss riverwalker Aug 2014 #39
I hope that someone writes as nice an epitaph for me MannyGoldstein Aug 2014 #40
Tom's belief in god and science gwheezie Aug 2014 #41
Dr. King said it simplest and best as always: IrishAyes Aug 2014 #51
I did open the window. gwheezie Aug 2014 #53
About the cat- I have heard this from a hospice worker too . Also for a friends mom lunasun Aug 2014 #173
I'm sure you're aware of the debate that swirls around the nature of IrishAyes Aug 2014 #182
Interesting story of near death . No I am not very familiar but as I said there appears lunasun Aug 2014 #183
energy to energy, yes annabanana Aug 2014 #115
Stay strong Scarsdale Aug 2014 #131
I'm so glad you got to share your lives together. chervilant Aug 2014 #141
So sorry gwheezie Crewleader Aug 2014 #42
Oh my. I'm really sorry for your loss. IrishAyes Aug 2014 #43
Thank you for sharing this picture of Tom with us. brer cat Aug 2014 #44
Lovely gwheezie Aug 2014 #46
Like these ones? Enthusiast Aug 2014 #85
Oh yes gwheezie Aug 2014 #110
What a vivid and memorable picture you have... 3catwoman3 Aug 2014 #45
I am so very, very sorry, gwheezie! Rhiannon12866 Aug 2014 #47
Shirley was my 1st hero gwheezie Aug 2014 #50
Shirley is a great hero. She was even one to my Republican Dad. Rhiannon12866 Aug 2014 #52
I'm insanely jealous of people who got to meet Shirley Chisolm in real life. IrishAyes Aug 2014 #67
I was just a little kid, but I remember my Dad's stories about his time with her well. Rhiannon12866 Aug 2014 #68
I do too (appreciate your Shirley Chisholm signature)! She was the first person I voted for, calimary Aug 2014 #156
i am so sorry for your loss. barbtries Aug 2014 #48
my condolences shireen Aug 2014 #49
So sorry. He sounded like a great guy. Cleita Aug 2014 #54
I'm sorry for your loss, your husbands sounds like a rather amazing person Autumn Aug 2014 #55
Thank you for sharing these pearls of wisdom even in your sadness. Interesting... joanbarnes Aug 2014 #56
Aw I'm so sorry. Sending you vibes. applegrove Aug 2014 #57
I'm sorry for your loss. onecaliberal Aug 2014 #58
Tom sounds like a wonderful man Beaverhausen Aug 2014 #59
Thank you for your beautiful post, and for sharing your dear husband with us. scarletwoman Aug 2014 #60
So very sorry for this loss... Tikki Aug 2014 #61
I'm so sorry for your loss, gwheezie. Unknown Beatle Aug 2014 #62
I'm so sorry enigmatic Aug 2014 #64
I believe one of the greatest blessings one can have is to be present No Vested Interest Aug 2014 #65
Thanks for sharing that amazing tribute. bluesbassman Aug 2014 #66
What an awesome 2naSalit Aug 2014 #69
..... raven mad Aug 2014 #70
Thank you, more than I can express, for sharing this. TygrBright Aug 2014 #71
So sorry to hear of your husband's passing. woodsprite Aug 2014 #72
I am so sorry HipChick Aug 2014 #73
He sounds as though he was amazing. kiva Aug 2014 #74
Death Smiles at Us All Martin Eden Aug 2014 #75
my heart goes out to you orleans Aug 2014 #76
I am so sorry. Mojorabbit Aug 2014 #77
Via con Dios good man The Second Stone Aug 2014 #78
My deepest sympathies. Behind the Aegis Aug 2014 #79
My heart goes out to you and your family emsimon33 Aug 2014 #80
I'm so, so sorry for your loss Recursion Aug 2014 #81
Sorry about the loss of your Tom, gwheezie. Enthusiast Aug 2014 #82
Beautiful tribute and I am very sorry TBF Aug 2014 #83
Mercy shenmue Aug 2014 #84
I'm so very sorry for your loss... I hope you have many warm and fuzzy memories of him secondwind Aug 2014 #86
I'm so sorry for your loss. ColesCountyDem Aug 2014 #87
oh, my dear bigtree Aug 2014 #88
He sounds as if he was an amazing person... Ferretherder Aug 2014 #89
Oh handmade34 Aug 2014 #90
What a wonderful tribute you have made for him here. cbayer Aug 2014 #91
Sorry for your loss gwheezie NEOhiodemocrat Aug 2014 #92
I hope I'm as comfortable w/ my death as your husband was ... 66 dmhlt Aug 2014 #93
Sounds like he was a wonderful person. Triana Aug 2014 #94
My sincere condolences heaven05 Aug 2014 #95
My condolences and sympathies. SalmonChantedEvening Aug 2014 #96
*hugs* and prayers a kennedy Aug 2014 #97
All our best to you. IADEMO2004 Aug 2014 #98
Peace PeoViejo Aug 2014 #99
You are a blessed being randr Aug 2014 #100
Sounded like a man who knew what and how he wanted his life to be tomm2thumbs Aug 2014 #101
Wow...What a wonderful man he must have been to see things onecent Aug 2014 #102
Be strong and remember his humour intaglio Aug 2014 #103
He sounds like a wonderful man. Le Taz Hot Aug 2014 #104
So sorry, bigtonka Aug 2014 #105
Wow. That was powerful. panader0 Aug 2014 #106
God's speed Tom nradisic Aug 2014 #107
Peace... KansDem Aug 2014 #108
I'm so sorry for your loss... Phentex Aug 2014 #109
So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful guy! Overseas Aug 2014 #111
I am sorry. And thank you for this post. yardwork Aug 2014 #112
Tom sounds like a wonderful person. cate94 Aug 2014 #113
I am so sorry for your loss. hedgehog Aug 2014 #114
I'm extremely sorry for the loss of your partner in life. sinkingfeeling Aug 2014 #116
So sorry for your loss. raouldukelives Aug 2014 #117
I am sorry for your loss and thankful for your post Burma Jones Aug 2014 #118
: ( broadcaster75201 Aug 2014 #119
Your husband sounded like a really great man. I am so sorry for your loss. Maraya1969 Aug 2014 #120
Hugs to you gwheezie. Sound like a great guy. Peace to you. nt Fla Dem Aug 2014 #121
{{{{{gwheezie}}}}} dorkzilla Aug 2014 #122
... SammyWinstonJack Aug 2014 #123
I'm so sorry for your loss. hamsterjill Aug 2014 #124
"Why was I worried about that shit " - particularly meaningful to me now.... grahamhgreen Aug 2014 #125
My heartfelt condolences benld74 Aug 2014 #126
sorry for your loss yuiyoshida Aug 2014 #127
What an amazing man. I am sorry for your loss. nt MADem Aug 2014 #128
Peace be with you - packman Aug 2014 #129
So very sorry to hear this...thoughts are with you... joeybee12 Aug 2014 #130
Hugs to you martigras Aug 2014 #132
(((((((gwheezie))))))) WillyT Aug 2014 #133
So sorry, Gwheezie. Granny M Aug 2014 #134
Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry Peacetrain Aug 2014 #135
(((hug) WilliamPitt Aug 2014 #136
gwheezie - this post was one of the most touching posts I have ever read. blm Aug 2014 #137
Sorry for your loss Curtis Aug 2014 #138
I'm so sorry. He sounds like a wonder. May he cross easy. nolabear Aug 2014 #139
It's so heartwarming to know sunnystarr Aug 2014 #140
I dont respond rtracey Aug 2014 #142
Tom was obviously a wise and witty man who loved life, his family, and pets. Our deepest indepat Aug 2014 #143
So sorry. He sounds like a swell guy. nt valerief Aug 2014 #144
I am sorry for your loss Dont call me Shirley Aug 2014 #145
your husband was obviously a great guy TheSarcastinator Aug 2014 #146
Sorry for your loss. Half-Century Man Aug 2014 #147
I'm very sorry for your loss. MH1 Aug 2014 #148
Tom sounds amazing. Duer 157099 Aug 2014 #149
I am so sorry for your loss. FLyellowdog Aug 2014 #150
So sorry for your loss. democrank Aug 2014 #151
So sorry for your loss, gwheezie mike dub Aug 2014 #152
So sorry for your loss. navarth Aug 2014 #153
My condolences, Joe Shlabotnik Aug 2014 #154
I love the things he said before he passed. Great humor and perspective on his AikidoSoul Aug 2014 #155
He sounds like a wonderful man with a great sense of humor. myrna minx Aug 2014 #157
I am sorry for your loss. rhett o rick Aug 2014 #158
I am so sad for you. hifiguy Aug 2014 #159
No wonder you loved him so much Samantha Aug 2014 #160
So sorry for your loss brush Aug 2014 #161
It sounds like he had a great attitude passiveporcupine Aug 2014 #162
sorry for your loss unionthug777 Aug 2014 #163
this was a profound message, gwheezie BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2014 #164
My sincere condolences to you, your family and your friends mazzarro Aug 2014 #165
i'm so sorry... Ron Obvious Aug 2014 #166
I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like one hell of any interesting LoisB Aug 2014 #167
My sincere condolances CaptainTruth Aug 2014 #168
I'm very sorry. Arugula Latte Aug 2014 #169
Strength and grace to you and your family. Boomerproud Aug 2014 #170
If there's a way to go Shankapotomus Aug 2014 #171
Thank you all for your support gwheezie Aug 2014 #172
My condolences to you RIP Tom and thanks for letting us know what a lunasun Aug 2014 #174
He sounds like a very special man. You are so lucky to have had some sort of japple Aug 2014 #175
Sending you peace and healing in your loss LiberalEsto Aug 2014 #176
there are no words anyone can say that mean anything right now. Your husband took roguevalley Aug 2014 #177
I'm so sorry. GoCubsGo Aug 2014 #178
Oh I'm so sorry, but I sense some humor in him about his death. Hopefully he brought you much. Tab Aug 2014 #179
Most impressive tribute I've read at DU. Glad you were there to help him pass. Take care, gwheezi. freshwest Aug 2014 #180
Thanks for sharing his last thoughts. I've bookmarked this thread. Iris Aug 2014 #181
Sounds like a wonderful man DFW Aug 2014 #184
My sincerest condolences for your loss. ='( AverageJoe90 Aug 2014 #185
what a beautiful goodbye cynannmarie Aug 2014 #186
So sorry TuxedoKat Aug 2014 #187
Tom sounds like a wonderful, wonderful man magical thyme Aug 2014 #188
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