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dr.strangelove

(4,851 posts)

20. For me, its best just to say, I know I can't do anything but be here, but know I am here

Wed Jul 16, 2014, 11:17 AM

Jul 2014

then follow through. If they want to go get drunk, do it. If they want to sit in a library, do it. see a movie, go shopping, talk, play a sport ... I find everyone deals with grief in their own way. Just let them do what they want to do, and be there if they want a companion. I tend to drink a lot when someone dies and I have some friends who are always there for me. But my sister is not a drinker. Instead her thing is to go to this pond near her house and sit and feed the ducks and just sit there quietly. Her best friend stayed with her for 7 hours when my dad died. She says they hardly spoke, just sat there. She is the a truly great friend to my sister.

anyway, good for you for being there and being a good friend.

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21 replies

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Highlight:

Does anyone have tips on consoling a person who has lost a loved one [View all] ohnoyoudidnt Jul 2014 OP

Just stay close. rug Jul 2014 #1

The kindest words sarge43 Jul 2014 #2

and know that they often will not ask for things they need SoCalDem Jul 2014 #15

Don't say, listen LiberalEsto Jul 2014 #3

No. Wait Wut Jul 2014 #4

Just be there for her. raptor_rider Jul 2014 #5

Listen. easttexaslefty Jul 2014 #6

Everybody needs something different. LisaLynne Jul 2014 #7

here's a few suggestions orleans Jul 2014 #8

Thank you! Especially for the best things/worst things to say lists. nt raccoon Jul 2014 #17

Me myself - just have to keep loving my DU/GD/Louners keeping on n/t UTUSN Jul 2014 #9

Be there. Make sure they are taking care of their personal needs. blogslut Jul 2014 #10

I was a grief & trauma counsellor for many years, and used this handout in my work. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #11

this is a wonderful post orleans Jul 2014 #13

Thank you, and it's been posted. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #14

It's helpful for me. lovemydog Jul 2014 #16

they sound like they would all be very appropriate and helpful orleans Jul 2014 #18

Excellent. DeadLetterOffice Jul 2014 #19

Thank you ohnoyoudidnt Jul 2014 #21

The best thing I've learned is to follow their lead. Iggo Jul 2014 #12

For me, its best just to say, I know I can't do anything but be here, but know I am here dr.strangelove Jul 2014 #20