My next door neighbor is an asshole.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

My yard is totally garden, no lawn, and he hates it. He especially hates it that I own the half-lot between our houses that he apparently thought was his until I pointed out the lot line, and when I took up the sod and planted apple trees and shrubs and flowers there, he complained that I shouldn't have done that because he liked grass, and that my shrubbery would interfere with his ability to put up storm windows (a problem that he doesn't seem to have on the other side of his house).

Anyhow, for the last couple of years he's been getting even with me for my landscaping choices by throwing trimmed-off brush and branches into my yard. I found another one today - a dead branch about 7' long that apparently fell off the large tree in his front yard, but could not possibly have landed where I found it all by itself.

The last time I complained about branches being deposited in my yard, his wife screamed at me for 10 minutes because my landscaping allegedly attracts raccoons that scare her child (It doesn't. The raccoons, if there are any, probably live under their upended kiddie pool). This time, instead of tossing the branch back into his yard, I stuck it in a pot and put Christmas lights on it. And set it right near the lot line, close to where the branch "fell."

From now on, I will take all of the branches and brush he throws in my yard and put lights on them or turn them into some form of garden sculpture.