Six tips for men about "Compliments"

[Egnever]

33. I think unknowingly you have pointed out why this has never and probably will never change.

"Being alone with, or in a very private context with, a strange guy is one of those situations where women feel at risk no matter how nice and unthreatening the guy in question appears."

I don't say this because I find that fear irrational simply problematic.

The situation when reversed does not usually default to fear. On the other hand if putting your hand on someones waist during a hug becomes sexual assault that may in fact change.

When half of the population approaches the other out of fear there is no equality and never really can be. Each side will do what it can to protect themselves and in doing so will cause ripples of discrimination.

We have a ton of work to do and I have serious doubts we are even close to coming to any sort of solution.

It seems to me at this point that the me too movement is dangerously close to completely over stepping. If we are now going to take women's word in every situation at face value we are practically guaranteeing a return to even more work place discrimination. Who in their right mind would when given the choice between equally qualified candidates choose the woman when the woman comes with the possibility of lawsuits over hugs with no ability to even explore what happened. It would be foolish to do so.

At the same time how do we make the situation safe for the side that feels constantly under threat.

This is not an easy nut to crack by any stretch of the imagination.

I absolutely agree that cat calling or even just complimenting strangers can be creepy it can also be perfectly innocent and heartfelt and differentiating between them is often one of personal perception. I don't do it simply because of the potential for it to be seen as creepy not because I don't think that is a great hat or dress or whatever. That in my opinion is a sad state for society to be in.