Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

TygrBright

(20,733 posts)
10. Yep, good capsule summary.
Wed Dec 6, 2017, 03:56 PM
Dec 2017

When you do know someone, regardless of the gender thing, the relationship may relax to the point of "I like your new haircut, looks good on you."

And to some extent, because of how we're socialized, women collude in the "comment on how I look" thing because our looks have been so important to our success in human interaction that it becomes a way of establishing even non-sexual intimacy. We do it among ourselves all the time. "Dayum, woman, that jacket is GREAT on you!" from a female colleague we're friendly with will bring a big grin to our faces. Then the innocent male colleague, wanting to build friendship/intimacy, sees that and thinks "Okay, I'll tell her how much I like those new shoes she was showing off to Edna in the break room" and things get awkward...

We have a long way to go.

We can get there if we work together.

appreciatively,
Bright

Like I said... Iggo Dec 2017 #1
Yep. n/t TygrBright Dec 2017 #2
Thank you Achilleaze Dec 2017 #3
Thank you, TygrBright. Glorfindel Dec 2017 #4
Seems like basic politeness rules. Or how to interact with REAL people (assumes women real people) bobbieinok Dec 2017 #5
Yep. Nutshell version: "Would you compliment a guy that way?" TygrBright Dec 2017 #8
That's a great rule! Basic LA Dec 2017 #12
It seems basic but apparently it isn't... Phentex Dec 2017 #13
This message was self-deleted by its author steve2470 Dec 2017 #6
Complete baloney: RandomAccess Dec 2017 #23
No need to be rude steve2470 Dec 2017 #28
Allowing people to volunteer RandomAccess Dec 2017 #34
Good advice. MineralMan Dec 2017 #7
Yep, good capsule summary. TygrBright Dec 2017 #10
For me, personal comments of any kind require some sort MineralMan Dec 2017 #14
I'm a woman, and I might comment to a woman colleague about something appearance-generic lapislzi Dec 2017 #18
Yes. Being aware and thoughtful is always a good idea. MineralMan Dec 2017 #20
It is inappropriate to tell a women that you know as a friend that you like her hair or some other doc03 Dec 2017 #30
Just So You Know ProfessorGAC Dec 2017 #9
Excellent Pacifist Patriot Dec 2017 #11
I am deeply honored. Thanks for telling me. n/t TygrBright Dec 2017 #15
May I add another tip for men (or women) not about appearance crazycatlady Dec 2017 #16
That doesn't really work as a universal rule, though. MineralMan Dec 2017 #17
I hung a "free hugs" sign on my office door lapislzi Dec 2017 #19
Yup. Some people are avid huggers. MineralMan Dec 2017 #21
Wow! Duppers Dec 2017 #35
Personal space is very important to me crazycatlady Dec 2017 #37
Thank You for the outstanding post..and the time you took to write it.. Stuart G Dec 2017 #22
Extraordinary intro material -- RandomAccess Dec 2017 #24
A wonderful list. And one more addition: pnwmom Dec 2017 #25
CLIFF notes edition - Don't.... To many crazies to take a chance. bagelsforbreakfast Dec 2017 #26
Here is another tip I have seen: spooky3 Dec 2017 #27
So I was at the gym a while back and a lady I barely knew said doc03 Dec 2017 #29
The first one was just about clothing treestar Dec 2017 #39
From the op I read if you would comment on how a women's clothing looks doc03 Dec 2017 #41
I don't get why some folks here set themselves wasupaloopa Dec 2017 #31
Gee how do you ever get to #6 if you obey all the first #5 to the letter? doc03 Dec 2017 #32
By talking about other things treestar Dec 2017 #38
I think unknowingly you have pointed out why this has never and probably will never change. Egnever Dec 2017 #33
Best advice for men: Don't even think about it. MindPilot Dec 2017 #36
The best advice is treat women how you'd want men to treat your mom, sister, wife and daughter(s). Fla Dem Dec 2017 #40
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Six tips for men about "C...»Reply #10