(or an alternative fact - KA Conway)
Their skin becomes a soft squishy pinkish red away from their native cheesy land and they need to use orange spray tan to achieve their normal skin hue.
You'll know them mainly by their orange skin and freakish hair. A separate living organism that attaches itself to the heads of Cheeto babies shortly after they are plucked from the Cheeto mother tree. All Cheetos® come from the same mother tree.
Cheeto-Americans can be easily found (and avoided) due to their constant braying over every little slight - real or imagined.
Lying is how they breathe and Cheeto-english is their primary language.
Cheeto-english is sort of a Palinesque off-shoot mixed with gibberish, but said with as much braggadocio as possible. Native speakers are known for repeating the same words over and over again, as well as pursing the lips into the shape of a hen's ass to achieve the proper Cheeto desired effect.
Cheetos® can breed with humans but the resulting offspring is expensive to maintain and useless in function.
To date, there has only been one Cheeto to make the trip from the orange cheesy nether regions of Earth's moon. Fred Trump touched down on earth some 112 years ago. He was allowed to stay and granted citizenship. His son, Donald, much like the artificial representation of cheese his skin hue suggest, is also an artificial representation of a human.
The End.
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