General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: My family is (most likely) in danger of a known sex offender [View all]underahedgerow
(1,232 posts)roses to try to be kind to the guy, because clearly he's dealing with his demons, I think it's really important to make the boundaries clear to him in polite but very specific terms if he comes on the property again.
He must be told that he cannot come on to the property to see the dog or let it out of its kennel at any time, at all, ever. Just that he can't do it at all, ever. If he is found on the property again, simply say 'John it's time for you to go now.' Limit all dialogue and interaction, escort him out to the street and say 'John, you can't come in our yard or play with our dog without our permission, ok?' Then use the excuse of an important meeting or telephone call, say good bye, go in the house and close the door. If he knocks on the door asking to play with the dog, just keep saying it's not a good time right now. There should always be something really important to be doing inside the house as an excuse to cut off the interaction. Be polite and kind, but very confident.
For legality sake, it's important to post a couple of signs; first, post a 'Dangerous Dog' sign. Secondly, post a No Trespassing sign. 3rd, post a 'This Property Under Video Surveillance' sign. A really big one! The No Trespassing sign provides your family with legal basis to the police that no one is allowed on their property. The Dangerous Dog sign is another deterrent and legal facilitator and could protect the family for future events. The video surveillance sign is really obvious of course.
If there is a way to secure the yard where the dog is kept, by locking a gate or fence, do it immediately. Absolutely put a lock on the kennel before anything else is done. No one has the right to enter anyone else's property and touch, handle, play with or interact with their property, whether it's a dog or even lawn furniture.
Your family should go to the local precinct and have a chat with the community liaison officer. Go during business hours and just state that they have concerns about a person in the area. The very first thing to say to each new police officer that you meet is 'I really need your help'. It's a psychological trigger that is very effective in getting authorities to assist you.
You can ask if he is on their lists, and make a report about his interactions with the family so far and clearly state the obvious concerns. You can ask that his probation/parole/case officer is contacted. It's possible that the police could facilitate a dialogue with his case worker, or also possible that the police could stop by and have a chat with him about his not being allowed to visit any families in the neighborhood if his case worker won't get involved. It has to be the right police officer who can handle a challenged person like this without resorting to violence. I think the best course of action would be a direct dialogue with his case worker, so that's the goal of the interaction. You can learn more about the guy's history and maybe in how to deal with him effectively but not negatively. Regardless, the case worker must be informed.
If that doesn't produce any results, seriously consider absolute security measures around the house and garden. Effective locks on doors, gates, kennels and windows and a surveillance system, as well as motion detector lights. It's expensive. If they own the house, it's a good investment. If they rent, and the guy continues to be worrisome, seriously just move.
Pepper spray is the absolute best harmless and non-lethal physical deterrent you can buy. It's cheap and 100% effective!
This is a really tough situation, and like you said, has absolutely nothing to do with the color of his skin or mental disabilities. This is a guy who is definitely challenged and who doesn't mesh into society too well. You're absolutely right in being cautious, but it's seriously important to gently refuse to interact with him for the safety of your family. It's nice to want to be kind to a special needs person, but it's more important to first protect your family
I can only wish you the best of luck. Don't pay any attention to the people here trying to get a rise out of you... it's not worth your time!