General Discussion

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)

95. I think you're wise to trust your gut, especially on those red flags.

Wed Sep 30, 2015, 02:13 AM

Sep 2015

Someone "on the sex offender registry" for crimes relating to children really ought to have a basic understanding that offering to take a stranger's 9 year old to school is going to set off all sorts of alarm bells, and is not okay.

I mean, come on.

It's also quite possibly a violation of this guy's parole or probation or something, so ditto on contacting the sheriff about that.

Lastly, dont let anyone shame you for being concerned and proactive on this. You and your SIL are keeping your eyes open, and have rightly spotted some out of place behavior. There are episodes in our society where i think folks are overprotective or needlessly paranoid, but this doesnt sound like one of them.

Stay safe.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

140 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

My family is (most likely) in danger of a known sex offender [View all] retrowire Sep 2015 OP

Restraining order? HooptieWagon Sep 2015 #1

deadbolts are definitely coming soon retrowire Sep 2015 #2

He has to pose a threat... HooptieWagon Sep 2015 #4

they haven't confronted him retrowire Sep 2015 #7

Put up 'No Trespassing' signs, etc. nt No Vested Interest Sep 2015 #9

question retrowire Sep 2015 #16

I don't know the answer, but someone locally - police, library, lawyer - does No Vested Interest Sep 2015 #21

Can they fence the yard? HooptieWagon Sep 2015 #11

fence too expensive retrowire Sep 2015 #17

if the woman is a single mom, she won't confront him alone wordpix Sep 2015 #82

while the feminist in me retrowire Sep 2015 #87

This may sound like the craziest advice but it will work wonders for confidence. snagglepuss Sep 2015 #88

I never thought about this retrowire Sep 2015 #89

Just note they have to the ones that are completely mirrored snagglepuss Sep 2015 #90

When in this kind of situation always document everything jwirr Sep 2015 #12

I second that. Cameras wouldn't hurt either. nt No Vested Interest Sep 2015 #24

they are a must and get an electric fence wordpix Sep 2015 #83

Restraining orders are worthless. You have to be prepared to protect yourself and others. nt alphafemale Sep 2015 #47

What was the offense? Was there no notification that he was going to move there? Brickbat Sep 2015 #3

liberties with a minor retrowire Sep 2015 #5

How about having the most authoritarian family member No Vested Interest Sep 2015 #6

see post 7 for more detail. retrowire Sep 2015 #8

Why does the creep have access to the dog? snagglepuss Sep 2015 #10

Because he's able to walk into the backyard and interact with it. n/t retrowire Sep 2015 #28

In no way is it OK for ANYONE to walk onto someone else's property. cwydro Sep 2015 #37

Given that their a house doesn't have a fence snagglepuss Sep 2015 #69

years ago, my baby stroller was stolen from my back yard wordpix Sep 2015 #86

I worked 2 years teaching math and science to Juvenile sexual offenders Ichingcarpenter Sep 2015 #13

Indeed. Talking to him would be a good start. Chemisse Sep 2015 #70

I wouldn't talk to him. If he is roguevalley Sep 2015 #97

Exactly. You don't engage with a sex offender who is BreakfastClub Sep 2015 #98

Mental? Do you mean mentally ill? Chemisse Sep 2015 #140

Is there a school or child-care center within . . . R. P. McMurphy Sep 2015 #14

He does live close enough to a university retrowire Sep 2015 #22

Residency restrictions as far as schools are concerned only deal with K-12, preschools, and daycares NuclearDem Sep 2015 #39

The first thing is to confirm your neighbors identity. The fact snagglepuss Sep 2015 #15

i updated the op with more details. n/t retrowire Sep 2015 #26

You have not confirmed it is the person in question davidpdx Sep 2015 #103

correct retrowire Sep 2015 #114

I'm confused. You say the family is not 100% certain if the sex offender is this guy?. . . Journeyman Sep 2015 #18

I just updated the initial post with much better details, sorry! retrowire Sep 2015 #19

Your family should confirm who it is they're afraid of first REP Sep 2015 #20

Dog is in the backyard and not all day either. retrowire Sep 2015 #25

Edited! REP Sep 2015 #27

whether or not he is the same guy- he is dead wrong. she should introduce herself and explain that bettyellen Sep 2015 #45

script and a strategy retrowire Sep 2015 #49

may I suggest perusing Captain Awkward and searching "personal safety" for scripts? bettyellen Sep 2015 #57

thanks so much for your help retrowire Sep 2015 #61

of course! it seemed to me that she was a bit too shocked to react in the moment.... bettyellen Sep 2015 #68

Well and the thing is she hasn't confirmed that davidpdx Sep 2015 #104

Hey I am not trying to be funny , but a long time ago I had a girlfriend who had some Person 2713 Sep 2015 #23

they need to have a talk with the daughter about how to deal with strangers and keeping boundaries bettyellen Sep 2015 #29

Yeah, a lock on the kennel might be a good idea. cwydro Sep 2015 #35

I would have interrupted and cheerfully asked her to go inside, introduce myself and get his name... bettyellen Sep 2015 #43

You need someone to put their foot down ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2015 #30

Yes, this. ladyVet Sep 2015 #117

I agree with poster above to document everything. HooptieWagon Sep 2015 #31

Deadbolts will help Warpy Sep 2015 #32

Please don't over-react Joanie Baloney Sep 2015 #33

The recidivism rate for sex offenders is pretty high. HooptieWagon Sep 2015 #36

Actually, it's among the lowest for all criminals. NuclearDem Sep 2015 #40

Actually, it isn't high Joanie Baloney Sep 2015 #42

I'm glad you posted this and didn't let the person who said this get away with it davidpdx Sep 2015 #107

You're welcome Joanie Baloney Sep 2015 #108

I know someone who was recently released davidpdx Sep 2015 #111

That's a myth, for what it's worth. Xithras Sep 2015 #44

Actually it's lower than that, and lower than any other crime. MindPilot Sep 2015 #51

Arrest vs. conviction. Xithras Sep 2015 #63

links please! I think you are wrong. Nt Logical Sep 2015 #92

Sorry - just saw your reply Joanie Baloney Sep 2015 #109

The bastard does not have the right to groom another child. alphafemale Sep 2015 #53

The problem here is that a stranger is being too friendly with the child. yardwork Sep 2015 #56

Somebody messing with my dog in that way cwydro Sep 2015 #34

i thought i did retrowire Sep 2015 #52

Is he worried about the dog? TBF Sep 2015 #62

the dog is perfectly fine and well taken care of retrowire Sep 2015 #67

That suggest to me that you are mistaken about his identity. Ms. Toad Sep 2015 #110

the police haven't seen the person retrowire Sep 2015 #115

Is he a "known sex offender" or not? Orrex Sep 2015 #119

i see retrowire Sep 2015 #122

No, I'm not offended, but careless imprecision damages one's credibility Orrex Sep 2015 #123

I think he's attracted to the dog. rug Sep 2015 #38

Get a camera, even a game camera if you want to be cheap Travis_0004 Sep 2015 #41

"a large bald black man" MindPilot Sep 2015 #46

Well, it was stated that edgineered Sep 2015 #54

Well played, well played... MindPilot Sep 2015 #60

I'm only giving the description retrowire Sep 2015 #55

What does his skin color have to do with anything? MindPilot Sep 2015 #58

no, i thought the bi-polar thing was evidence of MORE poor boundaries and impulse control. bettyellen Sep 2015 #64

I'm confused where the information of him being out of the hospital for whatever is coming from. cwydro Sep 2015 #112

He told the child about his mental health issues.... bettyellen Sep 2015 #120

Holy cow. I missed that. cwydro Sep 2015 #124

Unfortunately this woman is a bit scared. Whether she says something with her phone in hand or bettyellen Sep 2015 #125

because its a visual descriptor. retrowire Sep 2015 #65

Bingo. Ms. Toad Sep 2015 #116

thanks for the explanation retrowire Sep 2015 #118

Give it a rest. This is a 840high Sep 2015 #71

thank you. n/t retrowire Sep 2015 #73

Do get over yourself. nt Codeine Sep 2015 #84

i have to second warpy restorefreedom Sep 2015 #48

How about keeping the dog inside vankuria Sep 2015 #50

1. You may want to consider going to the Sheriff's Office Evergreen Emerald Sep 2015 #59

these are great bits of advice thank you! n/t retrowire Sep 2015 #66

It's also possible he's on probation or parole Jesus Malverde Sep 2015 #72

Those are great bits of advice. I would also suggest that your snagglepuss Sep 2015 #77

put a camera up and call the police. Sunlei Sep 2015 #74

on top of that move the dog inside & don't leave a dog outside when you're not home. Sunlei Sep 2015 #75

This man needs explicit instruction to roody Sep 2015 #76

How about direct confrontation. Trespass on my property again and I will call the police. I know you Pisces Sep 2015 #78

the mother is afraid retrowire Sep 2015 #79

He should be afraid she doesn't kill him when he next steps foot on her property. Predators Pisces Sep 2015 #113

Hyperbole. Comatose Sphagetti Sep 2015 #80

okay, another user who makes it about race retrowire Sep 2015 #85

Ignore the posters who are trying to do that. cwydro Sep 2015 #105

You are absolutely correct to be extremely cautious and protective. While it's all sunshine and underahedgerow Sep 2015 #135

You dont think offering a stranger's 9 year old rides to school is concerning behavior? Warren DeMontague Sep 2015 #96

Definitely Dorian Gray Sep 2015 #101

This is about a family - who don't 840high Sep 2015 #127

OK, this is where I might take shooting lessons wordpix Sep 2015 #81

You are the second person in the thread to mention a gun davidpdx Sep 2015 #106

Where? Chan790 Sep 2015 #91

There's been a lot of good advice - Mother Of Four Sep 2015 #93

Is the dog neglected? Is it walked daily? roody Sep 2015 #94

I think you're wise to trust your gut, especially on those red flags. Warren DeMontague Sep 2015 #95

Obviously, there is ohheckyeah Sep 2015 #99

I live in NYC Dorian Gray Sep 2015 #100

No to the "thanks but" yes to "nope, it would not be okay for you to do that, please don't approach bettyellen Sep 2015 #121

What's this man's name? Orrex Sep 2015 #102

Stop trying to bait him into a witch hunt already. Transparent fake concern. bettyellen Sep 2015 #126

Golly! Such righteous indignation! Golly! Orrex Sep 2015 #128

God forbid you be kind to someone who has good reason to worry about their niece and SIL. bettyellen Sep 2015 #129

God forbid we get our facts straight before we rush to condemn Orrex Sep 2015 #130

I've actually been helping- you have chosen to badger (upthread( and bettyellen Sep 2015 #131

Ridicule? Please. Orrex Sep 2015 #134

i have a name, whether or not it is HIS name has yet to be decided. nt retrowire Sep 2015 #139

Did you talk to this guy? If not, why not? randome Sep 2015 #132

I'm not naming someone whom it may not be retrowire Sep 2015 #137

You've received some good advice, which I can only second. historylovr Sep 2015 #133

thank you. n.t retrowire Sep 2015 #138

Well, keep us posted. cwydro Sep 2015 #136